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deciphering HER interest level

OrangeSnack

By OrangeSnack
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OrangeSnack Established Member

OrangeSnack

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Hello guys. Ive posted here before. I guess I will summarize everything.

 

The girl and I were introduced through mutual friends. We hit it off really well and I found a lot of common interests. But the only problem is that she lives kind of far away (400 miles). She just recently graduated and it so happens that she will be in Europe during the same time as me.

 

After I got her number, we started texting at first. We texted almost everyday and eventually I asked her if she would be interested to travel with me in Europe and she said yes! So we've already made arrangements where to meet and when.

 

A few days later I told her if I could call her instead of texting and she said Yes!

 

I called and she picked up. We chatted for a good 20 minutes and I felt the conversation went extremely well. I made her laugh and we made plans to meet up! I told her that my company is sending me to the city near hers. She said she's in the process of moving out of school. I said it wasn't a problem if I drove an hour away just to see her! Eventually we agreed that we will meet somewhere close to where I will be staying. I also told her that I might possibly call her the next day and I did, but unfortunately it went straight to voicemail. So I left a voicemail trying to confirm out date.

 

The next day she texted me back saying she was busy moving and missed my call. She asked if she could call me tomorrow. I said yes and so I waited till the next day.

 

It just so happens that she kept her promise and called. (I totally was not expecting this) We spoke for about 30 minutes. Again, great conversation, great chemistry so far. I confirmed the date with her and she seemed very excited! I also asked her what she was going to do this weekend and she said she's going to hang out with her mom! (she's extremely close to her mother and was close to her dad until he passed away due to cancer :( )

 

Anyway, based on what I have said in here, can anyone decipher her interest level? I have one thing that is bothering me:

 

1). Does she have a boyfriend or is she currently dating someone? I THINK when we first met, she kind of did mention that she was seeing someone but it wasn't serious. But I honestly can't remember! But throughout our phone conversations/text she never mentioned her bf or is currently seeing anyone!

 

Other information:

 

1). During our second phone conversation I asked her if she was busy the next day. She responded "I might go back to my school to move things out, why are you free on tuesday?" I told her "yes, I want to take you out to somewhere exciting and adventurous!" And she responded "that is a possibility!"

 

2). On the phone I also mentioned to her that because I have a meeting on monday with my clients, they will try to convince me to go to lunch with them, but I told her "I rather spend lunch with you." And she laughed and said awesome!

 

 

We will be meeting tomorrow! I am really excited but at the same time I feel that I will be disappointed because I'm so afraid that I will find out she has a boyfriend or is currently seeing someone. Is it polite to ask her if she is currently seeing anyone?

 

If not, should I be direct about my feelings towards her? Ultimately, I don't want to enter a serious relationship, but I do want to know if this could go somewhere. I want to make sure that the chemistry will continue and that she and I will make each other happy! I know that we need to go on more dates but heck, I don't even know if she thinks tomorrow is even considered a date lol.

 

I also feel that if I don't tell her my feelings, I will be friendzoned right away. I tend to have this problem with a lot of women :(

 

If you guys have any tips or advices please let me know! Thanks :) I hope tomorrow goes well! I'm banking on success but I just need a few reassurance

Edited by OrangeSnack
Nicomis Established Member

Nicomis

Posted
Posted
Hello guys. Ive posted here before. I guess I will summarize everything.

 

The girl and I were introduced through mutual friends. We hit it off really well and I found a lot of common interests. But the only problem is that she lives kind of far away (400 miles). She just recently graduated and it so happens that she will be in Europe during the same time as me.

 

After I got her number, we started texting at first. We texted almost everyday and eventually I asked her if she would be interested to travel with me in Europe and she said yes! So we've already made arrangements where to meet and when.

 

A few days later I told her if I could call her instead of texting and she said Yes!

 

I called and she picked up. We chatted for a good 20 minutes and I felt the conversation went extremely well. I made her laugh and we made plans to meet up! I told her that my company is sending me to the city near hers. She said she's in the process of moving out of school. I said it wasn't a problem if I drove an hour away just to see her! Eventually we agreed that we will meet somewhere close to where I will be staying. I also told her that I might possibly call her the next day and I did, but unfortunately it went straight to voicemail. So I left a voicemail trying to confirm out date.

 

The next day she texted me back saying she was busy moving and missed my call. She asked if she could call me tomorrow. I said yes and so I waited till the next day.

 

It just so happens that she kept her promise and called. (I totally was not expecting this) We spoke for about 30 minutes. Again, great conversation, great chemistry so far. I confirmed the date with her and she seemed very excited! I also asked her what she was going to do this weekend and she said she's going to hang out with her mom! (she's extremely close to her mother and was close to her dad until he passed away due to cancer :( )

 

Anyway, based on what I have said in here, can anyone decipher her interest level? I have one thing that is bothering me:

 

1). Does she have a boyfriend or is she currently dating someone? I THINK when we first met, she kind of did mention that she was seeing someone but it wasn't serious. But I honestly can't remember! But throughout our phone conversations/text she never mentioned her bf or is currently seeing anyone!

 

Other information:

 

1). During our second phone conversation I asked her if she was busy the next day. She responded "I might go back to my school to move things out, why are you free on tuesday?" I told her "yes, I want to take you out to somewhere exciting and adventurous!" And she responded "that is a possibility!"

 

2). On the phone I also mentioned to her that because I have a meeting on monday with my clients, they will try to convince me to go to lunch with them, but I told her "I rather spend lunch with you." And she laughed and said awesome!

 

 

We will be meeting tomorrow! I am really excited but at the same time I feel that I will be disappointed because I'm so afraid that I will find out she has a boyfriend or is currently seeing someone. Is it polite to ask her if she is currently seeing anyone?

 

If not, should I be direct about my feelings towards her? Ultimately, I don't want to enter a serious relationship, but I do want to know if this could go somewhere. I want to make sure that the chemistry will continue and that she and I will make each other happy! I know that we need to go on more dates but heck, I don't even know if she thinks tomorrow is even considered a date lol.

 

I also feel that if I don't tell her my feelings, I will be friendzoned right away. I tend to have this problem with a lot of women :(

 

If you guys have any tips or advices please let me know! Thanks :) I hope tomorrow goes well! I'm banking on success but I just need a few reassurance

 

A. NEVER TELL HER YOUR "FEELINGS" they don't matter to her

B. If she was really into you, you would absolutely, without a doubt know it. There would be no flakiness with the texts or calls.

C. She likely has already friend zoned you, but smells a free European vacation, which would go terribly for you, because she would not only NOT have sex with you, but would likely sleep with multiple Euro guys.

 

I'm sorry bro, but that's the real of it.

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OrangeSnack Established Member

OrangeSnack

Posted
  • Author
Posted (edited)
A. NEVER TELL HER YOUR "FEELINGS" they don't matter to her

B. If she was really into you, you would absolutely, without a doubt know it. There would be no flakiness with the texts or calls.

C. She likely has already friend zoned you, but smells a free European vacation, which would go terribly for you, because she would not only NOT have sex with you, but would likely sleep with multiple Euro guys.

 

I'm sorry bro, but that's the real of it.

 

A), I figured it was a bad idea. Hahaha, but sometimes it works for SOME girls.

 

B). Hmm but she never really flaked on texts or calls.

 

C). I get what you're saying. But I'm not paying for her trip! She paid everything herself! We are just meeting up!

 

Blah, I had a hunch feeling. But oh well. Life goes on.

 

Curious as to what others think

Edited by OrangeSnack
Meeks7 Established Member

Meeks7

Posted
Posted
Snip TL;DR text....

 

I also feel that if I don't tell her my feelings, I will be friendzoned right away. I tend to have this problem with a lot of women :(

 

If you guys have any tips or advices please let me know! Thanks :) I hope tomorrow goes well! I'm banking on success but I just need a few reassurance

 

 

I'm gonna speak the truth to ya.

 

1. You're way too focused on this. Being too obsessive leads to anxiety and an unnatural flow. Many times you've already lost if it's this much of a question mark to you

 

2. Telling a girl how you feel generally puts you in a bad position. Just show her with action. "Can I take you out to dinner sometime?" or go for some physical level of affection. You'll find out quickly where she stands.

 

3. Last sentence of your post... I used to be like you. Post my play by play and tell all my friends my "crush" stories and how she's feeling at point X, point Y, etc. I was driven mad by it all. You know deep down better than you ever think you might. Stop making every crush this "grand spectacle" and trust your instincts. The more you try to break it down, analyze, decipher, share with (e)friends and ask for their advice, I say odds are you've already lost. Most successful relationships are created organically and if it's meant to be then things just kind of fall into place. The more you have to orchestrate and create "contingency plans" -- the more manufactured it becomes and the least likely your odds of "success."

 

So, quit with the play by play. Seriously. Since I stopped posting PxP's, my dating life got much better as I learned to trust and rely on my own instincts. After all, no one knows the context of a situation and no one can see the girl's body language or hear the inflections in her voice over what you share. And sometimes we can share a distorted version of reality as we're reporting from OUR OWN eyes, but what we see might not always be accurate.

 

In a nutshell, stop making these things a big deal, and stop looking for reassurance. Be bold, be brave, if you like her, ask her out (I'm talking about any girl in the future). Quit analyzing and posting PxP's. In my experience PxP's and asking for advice is its own form of cancer and a lose-lose proposition.

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