loyalty Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 Well its been six months since I broke up with my ex that ran me through the ringer, since I have had to fight in court for my daughter which i won half custody so I now I have half custody of both of my children from both baby moms well only the last one was a problem getting, seemed that after everything she put me through wasnt enough for her and she was still out to hurt me in any way possible and I still deal with it everyday, but I have kept my cool and fought every step of the way for my lil girl, which she tries to aleinater her from me but she is a daddys little girl and is always so excited to see me when she comes for my half of the time and gets sad when she has to leave, it breaks my heart cause she wont sleep in her own bed she has to sleep with me everynight which I dont mind cause she my lil princess but it is a habit that cannot form I think its her way of dealing with the split feeling as though she'll never see me again cause she constantly asks daddy you promise to never leave me i dont want to go with mommy i want to stay with you and visit her, my daughters exact words breaks my heart, never thought i would be in a predicatement like this but here I am and when she comes out and says bad stuff I tell her mommy dont mean that mommy loves you etc I take the high road cause regardless of how her mom may be she does need a mom in her life. My problem is even though I broke it off with her cause of all the **** I dealt with I still have abandon issues I dont miss her I know its a pride thing I just miss my family being together. I feel its interacting with my life in coping with stuff, I find my self sitting home most nights even when i dont have my kids with me I still sit home alone which is unusual for me. Plenty of girls have tried to talk to me as I am no bad looking guy and I take care of my kids which I guess is a plus in some ladies eyes, but Im just scared of making the same mistake and jumping into something taht will destroy me as ive never been through so much in my life and had myself hurt so much by one person who still tries to hurt me in ways, I feel like im at a cross roads but I am beggining to get very lonely in which I just dont know anymore its like the only human contact i get is my kids when then here besides that I dont do ****. Sometimes I find myself turning to street pharmasuiticals to deal with the stress i have been going through. I have lupus and my lupus is even getting bad in which i used to have in control but stress is a number one killer with people of my nature with lupus. I just dont know how to deal with this funk any suggestions would be very helpful. sincerely getting lost in life.
Philosoraptor Posted July 5, 2012 Posted July 5, 2012 I think you need to be patient when thinking about dating again. I'd also say that you should consider therapy as a way to get down to the bottom of your stress and to learn healthy ways to manage it. I'm sure it would be cheaper and more beneficial than street pharmaceuticals. 1
Author loyalty Posted July 7, 2012 Author Posted July 7, 2012 yes you are right and I can say I have been staying away from street pharmaceuticals im proud to say. I havent been trying to go out in the dating seen lately as I just feel i need time to heal from the mess i just got out of, and having my kids half of the week is more than enough for me i just get tired of the constant struggle of her having to constantly bager me or try and get to me as we are no longer toghether and this is a stress i do not neeed in my life.
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