kaylan Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 Actually OP said in another thread that he was initially just seen as hook up worthy. Then she said she was open to seeing where it would lead and did seem to start to like him. So she wasnt gushing over him the entire time....so if a guy did what the OP did, I dont think hed get much crap for it especially if the girl was down for casual fun like this guy appears to be. If OP or a guy were leading the other person on, then thatd be different.
truth_seeker Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 In addition, I'm not looking to date this guy. OP just wanted some d-ck. Nothing wrong with that. She's human. It's just that society has this double standard where as men can bang multiple women and be celebrated for this, and women who do this are considered sluts. OP are you a slut or are you a woman who just wanted some sex?
Author tigressA Posted July 4, 2012 Author Posted July 4, 2012 And I do think alcohol would loosen up the nerves since you both seemed to over inflate expectations of your hookup. Its never good to do that We did both have one drink beforehand. I guess we should've downed a couple more I seem to go a little back and forth with this guy. First I liked hanging out with him. Then I disliked some things about his personality but was still physically attracted. Then I started thinking maybe I pegged him wrong, maybe I could start to like him. But now I'm back to the general dislike, and not primarily because of the sex. He's...confusing. And not that interesting. Like someone here said already, I think perhaps he coasts on his looks somewhat. The more time I spend with him/the more I talk with him the more I think I'd rather have us just shut up and bang instead of talk.
Jane2011 Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 I've had quite a few first times with guys that were very disappointing. It got better the 2nd time and thereafter. Sounds like tigress doesn't want to date her guy anyway, though, so no harm if she doesn't see him again. Anyway, ever since I caught on to first times being messed up (sometimes), I don't assess until after then. So now my 'red flag' point would be if it's not dramatically improved by round 2.
kaylan Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 Well you two obviously dont click enough to date, but Id still give a fling another go around. If it fails again then bail. You gotta give it more than just one go. And I dont count sex twice in 1 night more than one go...because its still a singular awkward series of events. You need a legit new set of events....so yeah...get a buzz...and try another time or two. Dont end up dating the bloke though...because you already said he was boring lol
Jane2011 Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 If you did like the guy, then yeah, another attempt is a must. Sometimes things are just horrible the first time and not just "improved" the 2nd or third, but downright awesome. One situation I had with a guy (about a year and a half ago), he actually said alcohol was what messed him up. He said every time he drinks (and we did have a drink or two that night), he can't stay hard. The next few times we saw each other, we did not drink, and he was fine, even awesome. 1
Feelsgoodman Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 I'm not buying the OP's post one damn bit. Women want casual sex just as much as men but they don't wanna deal with the stigma of being labeled slutty. So most women will use some face-saving mechanism: "I had sex because I was drunk." or "I wanted an intimate moment but there was no chemistry so I broke it off." The OP only wanted casual sex and nothing more. The "lack of chemistry" argument is face-saving BS. I can't believe you folks bought it. Yeah, I don't buy it either. Women always blame men for bad sex...that's nothing new. But the reality is that in order for a straight guy to not be into sex with a woman he [presumably] finds attractive, she must be doing something totally wrong.
Feelsgoodman Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 Im sorry OP, but how old are you? You sound very immature here. Most adults know that the first few times you have sex with someone are far from perfect or rarely great. You have to take time to learn each others bodies. This is one of those rare instances where I have to agree with kaylan. First time with a new person always sucks. At best, you get mediocre sex.
snug.bunny Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 PS - Is this how some women treat sex nowadays? Not always. I think you can have great sexual chemistry with someone initially, but, that doesn't mean there won't be any "awkward" moments or that it's going to be "perfect". If it felt forced (like Tigress mentioned) than it doesn't sound like she (or he or both) were into it from the get-go. Hence: I admittedly was a little clouded and tried to justify some sort of connection other than physical because I was so attracted to him. I take that to mean, there was no emotional connection.
Ninjainpajamas Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 We did both have one drink beforehand. I guess we should've downed a couple more I seem to go a little back and forth with this guy. First I liked hanging out with him. Then I disliked some things about his personality but was still physically attracted. Then I started thinking maybe I pegged him wrong, maybe I could start to like him. But now I'm back to the general dislike, and not primarily because of the sex. He's...confusing. And not that interesting. Like someone here said already, I think perhaps he coasts on his looks somewhat. The more time I spend with him/the more I talk with him the more I think I'd rather have us just shut up and bang instead of talk. I was going to say yeah right, then he'd just blame the bad sex on whiskey d*ck but Jane beat me to it!
Author tigressA Posted July 4, 2012 Author Posted July 4, 2012 I suppose I'm just going to wait until he comes around to talk about it, if he ever does. A small part of me would like to hash it out ASAP as unfinished business bothers me, but I feel it would be best overall if we both had some space first. I'm not sure if I want to keep or cancel Sunday plans, that is if he still wants to see me then. And in the meantime I have a date with someone new tomorrow... :S
mesmerized Posted July 5, 2012 Posted July 5, 2012 I'm not buying the OP's post one damn bit. Women want casual sex just as much as men but they don't wanna deal with the stigma of being labeled slutty. So most women will use some face-saving mechanism: "I had sex because I was drunk." or "I wanted an intimate moment but there was no chemistry so I broke it off." The OP only wanted casual sex and nothing more. The "lack of chemistry" argument is face-saving BS. I can't believe you folks bought it. I don't often agree with you but here I might. She probably wasn't very attracted to him in the first place but needed to end a dry spell. Or she could be for real and it was really awkward. Almost all of my first times have been a bit awkward.
RedRobin Posted July 5, 2012 Posted July 5, 2012 Just going off of what some of the others have said... My guess is you gave off a "I'm annoyed with you, little boy" vibe. Not exactly inspirational. Agree with some others. Coulda chosen a different path and 'had your way' with him... Or he could have also chosen to turn it around and given you the 'spanking' you deserved for disrespecting him... (in a good way, of course!). Meh... neither one really happened, sounds like. So... blah. 1
Author tigressA Posted July 5, 2012 Author Posted July 5, 2012 Just going off of what some of the others have said... My guess is you gave off a "I'm annoyed with you, little boy" vibe. Not exactly inspirational. Agree with some others. Coulda chosen a different path and 'had your way' with him... Or he could have also chosen to turn it around and given you the 'spanking' you deserved for disrespecting him... (in a good way, of course!). Meh... neither one really happened, sounds like. So... blah. Wow, that hit the nail right on the head. I do act like I just couldn't be bothered with him. Last night wasn't the only instance of this... Yesterday afternoon he sent me a text saying he was thinking of me. My response? "I'm thrilled." I'm not usually such a b*tch.
RedRobin Posted July 5, 2012 Posted July 5, 2012 Wow, that hit the nail right on the head. I do act like I just couldn't be bothered with him. Last night wasn't the only instance of this... Yesterday afternoon he sent me a text saying he was thinking of me. My response? "I'm thrilled." I'm not usually such a b*tch. Yea, sounds like you two just don't click. Sorry to hear that.
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