I can't get her out of my head..

[josation218]

Long story short....I'm 26 years old and haven’t had many girlfriends in the past. Hell I haven’t dated any girls in years... Don’t worry guys I’m not gay just shy ...Anyways first day on the job my boss ask me if I would like to play softballs for the company... Since I’ve always been good at any sport, I told him count me in... It was my first day with the team and I barely new anybody... As soon as I got to the field I notice this beautiful girl stretching in the dugout... Without her even looking at me, she took my breath away:love:... Anyways I headed to the dugout and my boss introduces me to everybody. A couple of minutes later, the game started, we were all in good spirit and out of nowhere the girl I thought was cute started making conversation with me. I followed along but never showed any sign of me liking her... A couple of days later she became very flirtatious and I was liking it... Since we work in the same company, I decided to go up to her cubicle with a note. The note had my phone number on it and a little writing saying " Stop Thinking About ME!!!!. On the next game she approached me and told me that, she laugh alot when she saw the note. I ask her why hasn’t she text me... She replied by saying “maybe I just want to make you wait..... I was like ok and she just continue to be flirtatious around me... The next game we were flirting again and I ask her what happen to my text... She replies “patience papi"... I was like she dint just call me papi . That same game one of the guy from the opposite team ask her for her number and she felt creep out... she goes towards me and tell me why dint i do anything when that creepy guy ask her for her number.. I was like I dint know he ask you for your number, you just told me right now...I am guessing she was upset that I dint care whether the guy ask her for her number or not.. A couple of minutes later I was in the outfield when somebody hit a pop fly towards me... I was running as fast as I could in order to make the catch and out of nowhere I look forward and I notice that the fence was right in front of me... In a split second I thought to myself, if I don’t dive I’m goanna go through that metal fence...I had no choice but to dive... When I got up I notice my knee was busted but I still stay in the game till the inning ended... I went to the dugout and my boss had a medical tool kit ready... I sat down and out of nowhere the girl I like took the medical tool kit and began to clean up my wound... I was surprise that she did that... A couple of minutes later she comes up to me and tells me 'I text you"... I was like, that’s what it take for a man to get a text from you... you should it have told me that earlier...I would it have try to get injured sooner .. She laughs and went back to the field... After we won the game my boss took the team out for dinner... We were in the table having a conversation and out of nowhere, she gets into an argument with one of the team mate...At first I thought she had a crush on the kid she was arguing with but I wasn’t really sure... After a long argument she got so upset that she walks out to cool off... I went after her and ask her why she is getting so mad if she had told me in previous conversation that she despises the kid... She told me that she doesn’t like the kid. She was just upset... I told her that if she dint like him she shouldn’t have gotten had walk out of the table... She kept going by saying I swear to god that I don’t like him... I told her to prove it... She asks me what do I want her to do in order to convince me that doesn’t like the kid... I told her give me a kiss... She dint hesitated and just approach me and game me a kid... I was like you better call 911 I’m feeling a heart attack coming ... She laugh and we just walk inside the place again... There were a couple of awkward moments in the table but everybody was being talkative and cool with each other. Wow this story is longer and I expected... Moving on a couple of days later I sent her and text to see what she was doing... She replied “Home relaxing and cleaning". Then she goes on by saying “The reason I’ve been so guarded is because I don’t want to be with anybody right now. I just want to concentrate on my job and school... I reply back saying "Got it"... In my head I was thinking WTF just happen. The following day we had yet another game and we won... As usual my boss took the team out to dinner. When we got to the place I was going to sit across from her and she calls out my name aloud... I was like ok I guess you want me to sit next to you . We're chatting and I was drinking beer and out of nowhere I started to reveal my feeling towards her... I told her that I couldn’t stop thinking about her... without going into much detail I poured my heart out to her. She started saying that at the beginning she told me that she dint wanted to be with anybody blah blah blah... That was at the beginning though before we knew each other... That whole night she avoided her real feeling and never told me how she really felt... I felt so embarrassed because I’m not the type of guy who usually reveals his feeling to a girl that quickly. That same night I texted her and I told her to be completely honest with me and to tell me what she’s feeling... She replies back by saying “I don’t know what I’m feeling right now; I like to take things slow"... Than I texted her back like an idiot saying " you don’t thing I’m attractive than... She never replies... I let that slide... Yesterday I was supposed fix a computer for a lady that sit next to her cubicle but she wasn’t there... I saw her standing and I walk by and I say, I heard you having some computer issues... She says no I just spill my coffee all over my paints... I went to the bathroom being a nice guy and I got her some paper towel... I also went downstairs to the IT department and got her a new keyboard since the one she had got all mess up... She thank me for all my help and I told her to text me whenever she’s on break, that way we can go out for lunch.. It was like 3pm and she still hasn't text me back... I was so hungry and piss off that I send her a text saying " thank you for texting me when you went on your break, don’t worry I won’t bother you anymore. She replies back saying “Jose!!!! I only went out for half of hour and that’s to get a new pair of pants... I dint thought you would like to do that" something like that... I reply back and told her “don’t worry about it. You don’t have to explain yourself to me... I've even erased your number from my phone that way I won’t have the urge to text you"...She never reply back..To me that show that she doesn’t give a dam about me... Anyways the problem now is that I don’t know whether this girl likes me or not..I really like her but don’t know what to do. Should I fight for her or walk away?

[MrCastle]

Walk away.

 

You were too pushy early on, and then you poured your heart out, she got weirded out, and then you spazzed on her.

 

She probably has you pegged as some weird, overly emotional dude.

 

I would just save face and cut my loses.

[truth_seeker]

Go on your gut. If you feel in your gut she could be the one, you do whatever it takes to win her heart.

[TripLine]

You made yourself look really bad. You were practically forcing her to tell you that she does not like you. You should have left the poor lady alone.

[truth_seeker]

Walk away.

 

You were too pushy early on, and then you poured your heart out, she got weirded out, and then you spazzed on her.

 

She probably has you pegged as some weird, overly emotional dude.

 

I would just save face and cut my loses.

 

If she's in her early 20's and immature, probably. If she's mature and a bit older, maybe not. I think let things settle for a bit, then reconnect in a calmer manner, and try to laugh about the thing. If she likes you, she'll let it slide.

 

I think it's weak to just save face and cut your losses. People make mistakes. I think a girl would appreciate a man more if he admitted his mistakes and was honest and upfront with her.

[MrCastle]

I think it's weak to just save face and cut your losses.

 

It's weak to want to salvage your dignity, pride, and self respect?

 

It's obvious this guy has developed oneitis for this girl, and she does not feel the same.

 

She can turn him into putty right now if she wanted. She has him in the palm of her hands. That's not a good place for a man to be and it certainly does not translate to dating or hooking up.

 

If he really does want her, he has to walk away and brush this off, go no contact, and show that he has other things going on in his life, other options.

 

If she truly is interested, she'll get in touch with him.

[josation218]

Its funny how you say I have developed oneitis lol.. You are certainty right on the fact that right now she has me on her palm of her hands..But to be honest I dont think I really like her as much as I think I do, I just want the attention that she was giving me when we first met... I am guessing since the softball season is over and we barely see or spend time with each other, she doesnt have the time for me anymore.. But I am going to take your advice and leave her alone.. If she's interested, she'll contact me.. If shes not, than oh well i guess im just have to focus on the other 3,456,782,098,781 girls that are in this planet ...

[Ninjainpajamas]

I say,I say...paragraphs my boy, paragraphs!

 

You were the new guy and she was interested in pulling your attention in which she succeeded and she may have been partially interested but I think more than anything she is just an attention whore regardless so be careful with her in that regard.

 

As far as the pressure...you gave a helluva a lot of pressure for a guy who calls himself shy. Too quick on the note with your phone number, It would have been better for you to string it out a bit more and get to know her a bit better, your actions were too quick and off-putting...although It didn't necessarily ruin your chances just yet.

 

Where you really messed up was pressing her to text you, now If she's kind of a dumb girl that insecure and man crazy she might have just dove right in for...but regardless she pulled off because you were kinda coming off like a dog in heat, I'm not sure why you applied so much pressure, you guys work together, you'd see her again...just comes off desperate and clingy and ready to rush. So she was basically telling you to chill.

 

As far as the restaurant move, you got a kiss because you played your cards right in the moment and she found it exciting....you see this is the kind of girl that likes to play games, hot and cold, on and off, and she's used to playing with guys like you and wrapping them around your finger, you fell right into her trap and got mixed up in her game...you didn't do anything out of the ordinary or even slightly resist, you just dove right in head first. So for this type of girl and situation, she's just playing with you and having some fun.

 

As far as you professing your love to her...way too early to do that, this docked you big points, this is the kind of girl that's looking for mystery and a challenge to a degree, you just kinda rolled over on your back and gave up all your cards...her degree of interest may be of neglect now, she'll probably only give you the attention she needs/wants.

 

The good thing is you are ready to detach, which for a girl like this is appealing because she likes the chase in that. However you're doing that out of insecurity, you took a blow to your ego so now you're kinda pissed off and throwing a tantrum so to speak because clearly you have zero patience to let anything develop.

 

You really got to change up your game before she figures you out and puts you in a box...don't act affected by it, pull away and let her come to you at this point. Don't give her the kind of attention she is looking for when she wants to, don't be wrapped around her finger, It's better to save face if anything rather than dive in and make yourself look like a fool and puppy dog. The fact that this girl has issues with this kid at your work is suspicious as well, you might want to do some recon and intelligence gathering and talk to the other guys at the office and find out a little more about her.

 

I'm sure she's had issues or drama with some of the men there, she just seems like the type and you might catch yourself before playing a bigger fool. If she's going to be interested you've got to let her come to you, she hasn't given you any good reason to think she's really interested, plus she seems kind of easier than you think to me, she just likes a bit of game playing...I'm sure she'll give you a shot like possibly a few other guys in the office, swapping spit with your colleagues...now that's teamwork!

[josation218]

Well said.. I was reading a thread earlier where there were these girls fighting over Ninjainpajamas. I was like who the hell is Ninjainpajama..So I decided to google your name but nothing came out... Now that I see you in the forum and I understand why those girls were fighting for you lol.. Everything you just said right now, when through my mind as well.. She just wanted to grab my attention and once she did, she just threw me away like I was some garbage..The thing is I barely see her in the office, since we work on different floor.. And the time actually see each other we just say and we walk our serapate ways...We used to flirt alot when the softball season was on but since its over I guess, she has no interest in me anymore.. Thats whats driving me nuts the fact that she was so flirtatious while we were playing softball and now she acts like she doesnt care... Do you think I mess up when I texted her that i 've erase her phone number from my phone, since i dint wanted to have the urge to text her again? Thats when she dint reply back...

[josation218]

The reason why I started being pushy or rushing into thing was because I notice that there were other guys after her.. Almost every game we played, guys were all over her and asking her for her phone number.. So I thought if im not quick enough somebody else is going to make the move for me....

[josation218]

Walk away.

 

You were too pushy early on, and then you poured your heart out, she got weirded out, and then you spazzed on her.

 

She probably has you pegged as some weird, overly emotional dude.

 

I would just save face and cut my loses.

 

The reason why I started being pushy or rushing into thing was because I notice that there were other guys after her.. Almost every game we played, guys were all over her and asking her for her phone number.. So I thought if im not quick enough somebody else is going to make the move for me....

[josation218]

I say,I say...paragraphs my boy, paragraphs!

 

You were the new guy and she was interested in pulling your attention in which she succeeded and she may have been partially interested but I think more than anything she is just an attention whore regardless so be careful with her in that regard.

 

As far as the pressure...you gave a helluva a lot of pressure for a guy who calls himself shy. Too quick on the note with your phone number, It would have been better for you to string it out a bit more and get to know her a bit better, your actions were too quick and off-putting...although It didn't necessarily ruin your chances just yet.

 

Where you really messed up was pressing her to text you, now If she's kind of a dumb girl that insecure and man crazy she might have just dove right in for...but regardless she pulled off because you were kinda coming off like a dog in heat, I'm not sure why you applied so much pressure, you guys work together, you'd see her again...just comes off desperate and clingy and ready to rush. So she was basically telling you to chill.

 

As far as the restaurant move, you got a kiss because you played your cards right in the moment and she found it exciting....you see this is the kind of girl that likes to play games, hot and cold, on and off, and she's used to playing with guys like you and wrapping them around your finger, you fell right into her trap and got mixed up in her game...you didn't do anything out of the ordinary or even slightly resist, you just dove right in head first. So for this type of girl and situation, she's just playing with you and having some fun.

 

As far as you professing your love to her...way too early to do that, this docked you big points, this is the kind of girl that's looking for mystery and a challenge to a degree, you just kinda rolled over on your back and gave up all your cards...her degree of interest may be of neglect now, she'll probably only give you the attention she needs/wants.

 

The good thing is you are ready to detach, which for a girl like this is appealing because she likes the chase in that. However you're doing that out of insecurity, you took a blow to your ego so now you're kinda pissed off and throwing a tantrum so to speak because clearly you have zero patience to let anything develop.

 

You really got to change up your game before she figures you out and puts you in a box...don't act affected by it, pull away and let her come to you at this point. Don't give her the kind of attention she is looking for when she wants to, don't be wrapped around her finger, It's better to save face if anything rather than dive in and make yourself look like a fool and puppy dog. The fact that this girl has issues with this kid at your work is suspicious as well, you might want to do some recon and intelligence gathering and talk to the other guys at the office and find out a little more about her.

 

I'm sure she's had issues or drama with some of the men there, she just seems like the type and you might catch yourself before playing a bigger fool. If she's going to be interested you've got to let her come to you, she hasn't given you any good reason to think she's really interested, plus she seems kind of easier than you think to me, she just likes a bit of game playing...I'm sure she'll give you a shot like possibly a few other guys in the office, swapping spit with your colleagues...now that's teamwork!

 

Well said.. I was reading a thread earlier where there were these girls fighting over Ninjainpajamas. I was like who the hell is Ninjainpajama..So I decided to google your name but nothing came out... Now that I see you in the forum and I understand why those girls were fighting for you lol.. Everything you just said right now, when through my mind as well.. She just wanted to grab my attention and once she did, she just threw me away like I was some garbage..The thing is I barely see her in the office, since we work on different floor.. And the time actually see each other we just say and we walk our serapate ways...We used to flirt alot when the softball season was on but since its over I guess, she has no interest in me anymore.. Thats whats driving me nuts the fact that she was so flirtatious while we were playing softball and now she acts like she doesnt care... Do you think I mess up when I texted her that i 've erase her phone number from my phone, since i dint wanted to have the urge to text her again? Thats when she dint reply back...

[Ninjainpajamas]

Well said.. I was reading a thread earlier where there were these girls fighting over Ninjainpajamas. I was like who the hell is Ninjainpajama..So I decided to google your name but nothing came out... Now that I see you in the forum and I understand why those girls were fighting for you lol.. Everything you just said right now, when through my mind as well.. She just wanted to grab my attention and once she did, she just threw me away like I was some garbage..The thing is I barely see her in the office, since we work on different floor.. And the time actually see each other we just say and we walk our serapate ways...We used to flirt alot when the softball season was on but since its over I guess, she has no interest in me anymore.. Thats whats driving me nuts the fact that she was so flirtatious while we were playing softball and now she acts like she doesnt care... Do you think I mess up when I texted her that i 've erase her phone number from my phone, since i dint wanted to have the urge to text her again? Thats when she dint reply back...

 

Ha...that's hilarious...I need to contact Google immediately!

 

Anyway, It seems to have played out as I have suspected...I know it seems impulsive to try and pick her up before the rest of the guys did but realize that her perspective she's just rounding you guys up like a gaggle of dogs chasing cars going down the street...the last thing you want to do Is join the herd and follow. You want to..not only for yourself, but in that situation..stay back, separate yourself from that and when she came to chat with you, exchange a few words and be respectful/polite and all that but then go back to doing your own thing, not rudely or intentionally just not to have been all over her because she was rounding you up at that point, she was intrigued to see what you were about.

 

You should always stay true to your principles, have a confidence and respect about yourself...you shouldn't have to feel like you need to chase her down or bend to gain her interest, If you know who you are and what you have to offer then don't give someone that much time and interest. But this isn't about ego, it's just about respect.

 

Why she was so flirtatious in the beginning is hopefully easy for you to see now, she just wanted attention. If anything the best thing you could have done when she acts like she doesn't care is act like you don't care, just blow it off and let it go...again it's about respect, not ego. If someone doesn't show interest then you just back off, you don't extend yourself, question them, and make them give answers they really don't want to have to spell out for you or for whatever other reason it may have been, the reason honestly is not important.

 

When you said you'd erase her number and she didn't react, that means she was fine with it...she had nothing else to say, If you didn't say anything you'd probably just sit there starring at your phone (not that you didn't) hope she'd get back to you...at that point you kind of put yourself in the "friend" or "undateable" zone...she might give you a shot later on possibly but don't bet on it if she's being completely distant now, she'd probably only do that If she was in desperate need of attention.

 

Cut your losses and move on, there's nothing you could have done to change the outcome unless you had a chance to start all over, and her true interest in you is at best questionable...women who are interested in you don't tell you they that they just want to be alone right now...that was a blow off right there.

[josation218]

Ha...that's hilarious...I need to contact Google immediately!

 

Anyway, It seems to have played out as I have suspected...I know it seems impulsive to try and pick her up before the rest of the guys did but realize that her perspective she's just rounding you guys up like a gaggle of dogs chasing cars going down the street...the last thing you want to do Is join the herd and follow. You want to..not only for yourself, but in that situation..stay back, separate yourself from that and when she came to chat with you, exchange a few words and be respectful/polite and all that but then go back to doing your own thing, not rudely or intentionally just not to have been all over her because she was rounding you up at that point, she was intrigued to see what you were about.

 

You should always stay true to your principles, have a confidence and respect about yourself...you shouldn't have to feel like you need to chase her down or bend to gain her interest, If you know who you are and what you have to offer then don't give someone that much time and interest. But this isn't about ego, it's just about respect.

 

Why she was so flirtatious in the beginning is hopefully easy for you to see now, she just wanted attention. If anything the best thing you could have done when she acts like she doesn't care is act like you don't care, just blow it off and let it go...again it's about respect, not ego. If someone doesn't show interest then you just back off, you don't extend yourself, question them, and make them give answers they really don't want to have to spell out for you or for whatever other reason it may have been, the reason honestly is not important.

 

When you said you'd erase her number and she didn't react, that means she was fine with it...she had nothing else to say, If you didn't say anything you'd probably just sit there starring at your phone (not that you didn't) hope she'd get back to you...at that point you kind of put yourself in the "friend" or "undateable" zone...she might give you a shot later on possibly but don't bet on it if she's being completely distant now, she'd probably only do that If she was in desperate need of attention.

 

Cut your losses and move on, there's nothing you could have done to change the outcome unless you had a chance to start all over, and her true interest in you is at best questionable...women who are interested in you don't tell you they that they just want to be alone right now...that was a blow off right there.

 

Google have been slacking as of lately.. Instead of having you on their first link, they have some bs news about a drinking man aiminng for a gorundhog and shot his friend lol.. Back to the topic.. I'm just going to move on .. I have been alone for so many years that i dont need a girl to validate me..I know who I am and I'm sure in hell not going to degrade myself just because of one girl.. Eventhough My heart is telling me to fight for her i just wont do it for the simple fact that she just one of those girl that there is not point to fight for ..Its like what they say whats the point of fighting for something you know will never happen.. I just got so infatuated with the fact that i thought she wanted me as much as I did her.. The signal were there I guess I just went in to fast you know.. Its my fault.. Can't blame anybody else.. But those kind of mistake is what makes us human.. We do it and than we learn from it..Since i havent dated any girls in years i just felt it was right to start again with this one.. I guess god had other plans in store.. Something that have been bothering is how come when I scrap my knee playing ball, she immediately took the first aid kit and treated my wounds.. I was bledding like crazy and she dint care.. she clean it up real good and than put a bandaid on it.. I guess that was the moment when i realize that I actually like the girl.