Feelsgoodman Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 IT WASN'T FOR VANITY!! I had NO idea that this would happen. They were SO nonchalant and lax about it and it was in the SAME room as the hair salon! With the face, I thought I was going for a facial for goodness sake! And I had never had a facial in my life prior to that! What happens if a girl goes in for a pedicure for the first time in her life in her early 20s and she develops necrotizing fasciitis on her legs from bacteria in the foot bath? Mild example in comparison, but really, I don't think doing something aesthetically for the first time in your life should be labelled as vanity. If I went to spas all the time, maybe that'd be different. That's why you do your homework first. How could a facial possibly burn fat?? That doesn't even make sense. And I checked out the hair salon you mentioned and it looks shady as hell. If you watch the video on their site, it looks like it's run by Al-Qaeda or something. Anyway, I'm sorry that this happened to you...hopefully this procedure can be reversed. Have you considered suing the salon?
Author Celtica Posted July 3, 2012 Author Posted July 3, 2012 Celtica, It's not about becoming bitter and disempowered. It's about knowing you have standards, and you're not going to sell yourself short for some guy who needs you to look exactly the same all the time. People change. There are disfigurements, weight gain, plastic surgery gone wrong. It was depressing to hear my own father tell me that looks are very important to men. I see now that this is true, but also know that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I've had many of my girlfriends think my boyfriends were ugly, and I thought they were gorgeous. Don't be down. Do your best to be honest always, as when you die, you die as who you are, and every decision you make affirms that. I remember when my dad told my mom to get a facelift. From then on I realized how important looks are to men. And I was disillusioned from then on with regards to what love meant. I think you're right about not being disempowered or bitter. There are a lot of subtleties tied into how we present ourselves as a potential mate, and a lot of it has to do with how sexually empowered we feel. I feel lame though standing tall and trying to convince myself that I find myself sexually attractive. You're right about being honest. That was the a part of the foundation of my relation to him and why we connected so well.
Christine52 Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 Yeah I totally get it... Everyone I know keeps telling me how cute/gorgeous I am yet I never get asked out I see women getting men left right and centre, but I'm not. At one point I started to think I was ugly? But then I realized dating has a lot less to do with looks than people give credit. Looks is important for beginning attraction, but to have a successful relationship takes so much more than that. So I had to look at my faults, and things I needed to improve myself on, so that I can be more successful in my dating life. Looks aren't enough...and they certainly aren't everything.
Author Celtica Posted July 3, 2012 Author Posted July 3, 2012 That's why you do your homework first. How could a facial possibly burn fat?? That doesn't even make sense. And I checked out the hair salon you mentioned and it looks shady as hell. If you watch the video on their site, it looks like it's run by Al-Qaeda or something. Anyway, I'm sorry that this happened to you...hopefully this procedure can be reversed. Have you considered suing the salon? Thanks for your condolences. I have learned my lesson about doing my homework for sure. The facial procedure was the same premise, called a radio frequency facial, same machine. It's supposedly excellent for 50+ who have jowls and want skin tightening since their fat has sunk. It's a demise of the young. I've spoken with lawyers but from what they've explained it's well-nigh impossible to sue them. Firstly, they are in a foreign country. I merely bought the package by a PR guy at a mall and proof of purchase was written on a brochure thing, which I gave to them in the end. Plus I took no bikini photos of myself before and after the procedure, just clothed pictures. And I have no way of proving that they caused my hypothyroid problem or anything else because I had no blood tests done immediately prior to my surgery.
Author Celtica Posted July 3, 2012 Author Posted July 3, 2012 Yeah I totally get it... Everyone I know keeps telling me how cute/gorgeous I am yet I never get asked out I see women getting men left right and centre, but I'm not. At one point I started to think I was ugly? But then I realized dating has a lot less to do with looks than people give credit. Looks is important for beginning attraction, but to have a successful relationship takes so much more than that. So I had to look at my faults, and things I needed to improve myself on, so that I can be more successful in my dating life. Looks aren't enough...and they certainly aren't everything. It's the entire package that counts. Looks are secondary to some, primary to others. All depends if you consider yourself a pair-bonded species or a tournament species. But this is where it hurts the most. This whole thing spiraled into such an illness and identity crisis that there was no way I could continue on the path I was headed. I was about to continue my studies in fashion design, in which aesthetics is CRITICAL to survive in such a cut-throat world, no tip toeing around that. So, basically I would be emailing him to tell him that 1) I've lost my looks, 2) I no longer have sight of my goals, and 3) I'm majorly depressed. What a package! Gah, my sarcastic bitterness is starting to show...
Author Celtica Posted July 3, 2012 Author Posted July 3, 2012 But really, can someone play Cyrano de Bergerac and dictate what to say to him??? I am tongue-twisted. Do I tell him I no longer look the same? Do I tell him I had this done? Do I just send him pictures and let him decide for himself? Do I tell him about my thyroid problem? I am like a 16 year old girl (and could have passed for one before the procedure) when it comes to developing a report with a potential mate.
Author Celtica Posted July 3, 2012 Author Posted July 3, 2012 Okay. I resort to joining a convent. Had been planning that for a while anyway. Thanks for everyone's posts!
FitChick Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 Where are you located now? Ask for advice and referrals at the Skincare and Makeup forum at this website.
Author Celtica Posted July 4, 2012 Author Posted July 4, 2012 Thanks. I'll check it out and ask for their advice. I'm so sad right now. It was a mistake for me to post this thread on this forum. I set myself up for a harsh comments and, in a sense, the reality of it all.
mortensorchid Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 Well I had two things happen to me. I was with this man about ten years ago (the love of my life that broke my heart, but that's another story), and I gained a lot of weight during that time. It was the fact that he had broken my heart, I was taking it out in food, and I suddenly found myself fat. He never seemed to mind it, at least, he never said anything about it to me. Then I got another, my second to last serious bf, and he said this was not going to be a permanent set up if I did not loose weight and quit smoking. I took it as a challenge even though that was conditional love. After I had dropped about 30 of the 45 lbs I would eventually loose and had successfully quit for about 4 weeks, he was furious with me. Why? It took me too long to do it. It was a power trip on his part. I saw him again about two years ago, and he gained all the weight that I had put on (plus reenforcements), married another woman barely a year later, and is now divorced. Sad. So I guess you really can't win, can you?
Author Celtica Posted July 4, 2012 Author Posted July 4, 2012 Well I had two things happen to me. I was with this man about ten years ago (the love of my life that broke my heart, but that's another story), and I gained a lot of weight during that time. It was the fact that he had broken my heart, I was taking it out in food, and I suddenly found myself fat. He never seemed to mind it, at least, he never said anything about it to me. Then I got another, my second to last serious bf, and he said this was not going to be a permanent set up if I did not loose weight and quit smoking. I took it as a challenge even though that was conditional love. After I had dropped about 30 of the 45 lbs I would eventually loose and had successfully quit for about 4 weeks, he was furious with me. Why? It took me too long to do it. It was a power trip on his part. I saw him again about two years ago, and he gained all the weight that I had put on (plus reenforcements), married another woman barely a year later, and is now divorced. Sad. So I guess you really can't win, can you? Wow, thanks for sharing your story. YES, we want to live in a perfect world but perfection is nothing but ephemeral. Perfection is simply moments. And we remember those moments and piece them together as being perfect, a perfect past or an imperfect past. How old were you when that happened?
FitChick Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 the hair salon you mentioned and it looks shady as hell. It looks like it's run by Al-Qaeda And they run a women's clothing business from the back room especially for customers who have had radio frequency facials.
ladyabstrused Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 But really, can someone play Cyrano de Bergerac and dictate what to say to him??? I am tongue-twisted. Do I tell him I no longer look the same? Do I tell him I had this done? Do I just send him pictures and let him decide for himself? Do I tell him about my thyroid problem? I am like a 16 year old girl (and could have passed for one before the procedure) when it comes to developing a report with a potential mate. Just tell him about it. Then if he wants to see pictures, send him pictures. Get it done and over with so you don't put yourself in this situation for too long cos it can get pretty depressing. Whether he accepts you or not the way you are now, you'll just have to face the reality of it. There's no way you can hide this and it certainly wouldn't be nice for you to hide it AND not tell him until you see him. Be honest with him, how you felt when you did it and why you did it. Just tell him the truth. If he can't take it, move on and continue to work on healing of your face. I know this is easier said than done, but really, what else can you do?
Author Celtica Posted July 4, 2012 Author Posted July 4, 2012 It's adorable to see women try to convince themselves of this kind of stuff. It's amazing how easy it is to envision how some men treat their mothers - or at least how their fathers treated their mothers - based on how they talk about women...
Recommended Posts