Andy119 Posted July 2, 2012 Posted July 2, 2012 So I started talking to this girl at work, just a little at first but then she got on the same bus as me on a day off so I went and sat with her and we hada great conversation, there was a bit of flirty behavior teasing etc. We kept talking at work and a few days later she added me to Facebook and we started talking on there all the time again lots of flirty behavior teasing and she said I was mean playfully etc SO after a while of typing it and deleting it I asked her if she wanted to do something sometime (I accidentally pressed enter) and just as friends we had a meal and went to the cinema, The film sucked but we still had fun or at least she said she did and I know I did. so we kept talking for a while and we swapped number and began texting a lot now I dunno how many text were dent but I racked up a large phonebill and I checked Facebook and there was like 3000 messages sent/recieved in the space of about 3 weeks. After a bit of texting I finally told her that I had feelings for her and asked if she felt the same, she said yes but she was uncomfortable with the age gap and thought it was kinda weird (she's 16 and I'm 25 which is legal in the UK) I thought it was weird as well but I couldn't really help how I felt and asked her if she wanted to give it a go anyway and she said yes. We hung out that night and spent an hour and a half just talking, the time flew by and I had fun just doing that. We spent the next few weeks trying to get a date set up but due to work schedule's it was hard and I asked her if she still felt the same and she said yeah she did. So we finally got a date set up for after work one night but it didn't go through due to her having problems at home with her family which were not related to me so I said if she didn't feel up to it she could go home and she did. But she came over to mine the next night and we watched a movie and talked for hours. During this time I told her that I wanted to kiss her the whole time she'd been here and she asked "why didn't i?" I said I was kinda nervous because I was. She said I had made it kinda awkward but we talked for a bit more then we left to walk her home. When we got to her house she hugged me and as she went to pull away I kissed he, just a quick one because I was still nervous and she said "Is that it?" So I kissed her again for a bit longer and she definitely kissed me back I could feel her sucking on my lips. When we finished kissing she held my hands and asked what was wrong? I said I was still nervous (I think she could see it on my face) and she asked why? I said I really liked her and that was why. She kissed me again and said bye and went in the house. Later as I was getting home she started texting me saying that she was in her bed and we kept texting for a bit while I was out with my dog. The next day everything was fine but she just randomly stopped relying to texts. The day after I text her saying hey (she always put a smile after her first message to me saying Hey) but this time she didn't and I thought something was wrong so I asked what was up (she said she was tired), we chatted for a bit and I joked a bit with her and I asked if i had cheered her up a bit to which she didn't reply. She was working that night and looked pretty pissed off and didn't really speak to me. I text her later asking why she was pissed off and was it me? she said "it's lots of stuff" so I firgured it was her stuff at home so I offered to give her some space. A couple of days later at work she wasn't talking to me but was having a laugh with everybody else so I figured it was me she was pissed off at and I sent her a long text message saying thats how I felt and she said again that she was bothered by the age gap. We were going out with the work that night so I asked if I could talk to her. She said Okay Before going out I mentioned it to one of the other girls who works with me (a friend) and I said that we'd been texting and that I liked her and we'd hung out a few times and I asked her for some advice on the situation. So on the work night out I tried to talk to her but she clearly didn't want to but I was drunk and tried to talk to her anyway, she wasn't having it and other people overheard and a lot of drama ensued (she's 16, leave her alone etc) I ended up speaking to a few people from work about it later and it tunred out they had known about it for the past month. the next day I sent a massive apology text for my behavior last night and she said she was pissed off because I was speaking to people about us and thanks for apologising but it wasn't okay. I apologised again and asked her to talk to me about what the problem was and that everything was great when she was at mine the other day so I thought something had happened. she said nothing had happened and that she thought the age gap was really weird and she wasn't ok with it. I said she had changed her mind about me so quickly and that I was really hurt but I got it and I would leave her alone. She text me saiying that she said she had said she thought it was odd but that she would try it and she was sorry. which is fair enough because she did. The other night at work she came down to the department where I was working and was talking to some of the other staff but while I was working away I could see her turning around and looking at me out of my peripheral vision. I didn't say anything to her. She sent me a text later that night saying that "she didn't want it to be awkward at work and she wanted to be friends even though she knew I must hate her now she didn't want it to be like we didn't know each other". I said that I didn't hat her and that I still liked her and that wasn't gonna go away over night and that I didn't know if I could just be friends but I would probably start talking to her again but it would take some time. I also said that even when we were friends I had other feelings for her and I thought she had other feeling for me at the same time. I also sent another text saying that I haven't felt this way for anybody that I feel for her in a long time (I was crying when I sent those). She never replied to those. At work last night she tried to talk to me, She said "cheer up, I'm sorry" (the mos insincere sorry I've ever heard) and I asked if I could talk to her when we finished, she said yes ( I was gonna tell her to stop trying to talk to me and to leave me alone for a bit until I was ready to talk to her). When it came to the time we were gonna finish she had asked another member of staff to talk to me saying that she was tired and stressed and that I'd been saying stuff I hadn't said (that I'd said we were together and I never said that) and that she just wanted to go home. But she seemed fairly happy while at work apart from me ignoring her she seemed a bit annoyed at that. So what do you guys think? I know I made things worse and I pretty much dug a massive hole.
Chi townD Posted July 2, 2012 Posted July 2, 2012 When we got to her house she hugged me and as she went to pull away I kissed he, just a quick one because I was still nervous and she said "Is that it?" So I kissed her again for a bit longer and she definitely kissed me back I could feel her sucking on my lips. When we finished kissing she held my hands and asked what was wrong? I said I was still nervous (I think she could see it on my face) and she asked why? Because if she was my daughter and I would have found you, you would probably have a shotgun pointed at your face. Dude, find a girl closer to your own age! Do you realize just a couple of years ago, while you were having drinks at the bar with friends, she was still playing with dolls? You were a teenager once. Remember all the BS drama games teenage girls play? Why the hell would you subject yourself to that crap again. That's for teenage boys to deal with. Don't rob them of their right of passage! Seriously, find a girl closer to your age that's mature enough to handle a relationship.
k100danny Posted July 2, 2012 Posted July 2, 2012 The 9 year age gap isn't unworkable and a lot of relationships get on fine with this age gap. BUT, it is a HUGE age gap when one of the people is 16. It may be legal but seriously what can you have in common with a 16 year old? She has just left school and i know when i was 16 i was going out with girls from the same year at school and i wasnt even really mature enough for that never mind a relationship with an adult. Because she isn't an adult at all wether the law says its ok or not doesnt matter. I personally at 29 would struggle to date a 20 year old, yeah i may find them attractive a lot of younger women 18 -21 are great looking but i could never date one. At your age you will be thinking about things such as when will you buy your first home, what do you see in your life plan. She is thinking I wonder if my mum will let me go to a jls concert or not. Totally agreed with chi, stick to someone at least 21 +
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