After a 5 month EA, 2 of those months PA - how can I reconcile with my husband?

[Athena]

You sound... almost blase... like all what you did to your husband, marriage, and family (yep, to your precious children!) wasn't such a big deal.

 

Additionally you sound a tad annoyed that there are posters on this board that are holding you responsible for your choices (clearly your husband hasn't) and I am just amazed that you feel the right to pull the plug and 'not come back here to read any responses' since you elect NOT TO GET ANY CONSEQUENCES at all for all your choices.

 

Listen, you may well have been (according to you) 'open and honest' with your husband about your affair as it unfolded but you don't live in a vacuum... you live in a society and world that has thoughts and comments about your choices, decisions and actions.... and stuff like what you have done may not bother your little head that much (which is why you can actually sleep at night) but that doesn't mean you get to control what others make of your behavior!

 

Funny how you can just switch us off, because you're not going to 'deal' with all of that (the inconvenience of Truth)... just gives us insight into your lack of character... I feel sorry for your husband and children, because they have to deal with you and your entitled attitude.

 

If you don't feel any genuine remorse for your actions and behavior, how do you expect to Grow from this and to make right your wrongs?!

 

My guess is those three precious children of yours will grow up to see your glaring faults and move away from your arrogant ways, hopefully will move closer to their fathers.

 

You have a lot to learn. Apparently you don't think so and have dismissed all.

 

PS: I don't think you are such a 'good person'. You're kidding yourself, right?

Edited July 3, 2012 by Athena

[2sunny]

I won't cheat again. I have said thins to OM I never thought I would find the strength to say, I have hurt him irrevocably - I know this for a fact. I will never feel like this about another person and on that basis, no-one will compare.

 

I DO love my husband (despite all of your assumptions) and I will throw myself heart and soul into reconciliation. I think I am done with this thread, I wont be checking back or responding further. Thanks for all the taken guys..

 

Still worried about how the OM feels = not focusing enough on hubby. Sheez!

[Athena]

I think I've figured out the reason why you seem to be all over the place in this thread with, first, your seemingly loving devotion to getting hubby back, then your doubt (and wondering if it's even worth your while) and then your dumping OM (the only man who is your Soulmate) by saying stuff that will 'wound him irrevocably' -- what a way to treat a soulmate, and finally your dumping this thread when it so behooves you ---- the reason is; that you are manipulative.

 

You need to work on that character flaw of yours. It's not attractive.

Edited July 3, 2012 by Athena

[GLDheart]

I still hope her husband stumbles onto this thread at some point.

 

If he is like the rest of us here, he will now seek answers to why people cheat, how to deal with the pain, how to handle reconciling, and wether once a cheater always a cheater....

 

He could very will revive this thread someday soon.

[whichwayisup]

I wont be checking back or responding further. Thanks for all the taken guys..

 

I'm sorry to hear this. Wish you wouldn't let a bunch of strangers run you off a board that is helping you (minus certain posts you should just ignore) and focus on the more helpful advice that's being given. I do hope you come back.

[2sunny]

I'm sorry to hear this. Wish you wouldn't let a bunch of strangers run you off a board that is helping you (minus certain posts you should just ignore) and focus on the more helpful advice that's being given. I do hope you come back.

 

Me too - because she's gonna need it for strength and understanding whether she decides to stay in the marriage or not.

 

You can't just shut off your thoughts - they go with you everywhere - and having different perspectives to reason thoughts out is key.

[SomedayDig]

OP...you've just shown us your lack of willpower that allows you to continue in your cycle of infidelity. Point proven as to what others have been trying to show you. Too bad you don't get it.

[SoulStorm]

How sad for the H. She made him a cuckhold openly. Then wanted him back passionately..then became confused and perplexed (more really) when he said yes.

 

That's a bit narcissistic and a bit sociopathic if you ask me.

I will give you props for ending it, but it pales because in all you said..you made your H second choice and he was willing to accept it.

How sad for him.

He obviously loves..too bad you don't love him..no matter what you say..you don't truly love him.

 

Love seeks to put itself in the way of harm for the one it's given itself too.

You intentionally hurt your H

Love looks past faults and sees the good and potential

 

You see the OM as your soul mate and your H plays second fiddle despite how wonderful you say he is.

 

Love would not have put a man you have known briefly in the same house as your children

While you kicked out the man they knew as their father for 5 years

despite whether they met him or not.

 

You Do not truly love your H,

But you do appear to be fond of him.

How sad for him and I truly feel sorry for him.

he may not thinks so because he truly loves you,

Too bad he can't see it because of his rose colored glasses,

But strangers who have been through this..surely can.

[William]

Moderator gets the last word and it's this:

 

Beware regular posters who are using sockpuppets to attack and demean thread starters and other posters. I've noted a number of potentials in this thread. I'm making it my business to seek them out, find out who the 'regular' is and will permanently ban and exclude all. Fair warning. If you cannot behave and post in a manner within our community guidelines, leave and don't come back. Simple as that.

 

Thread starter, this thread is now closed. If you wish further input, alert on this post and request re-opening. I will, if such is requested, hence have it on my watch list.