Jump to content

Is asking someone out, regardless of "the vibe" a bad thing?


While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Posted

When a man gets into a conversation with a single woman, and he doesn't pick up on the vibe she isn't interested in him in THAT way, but is being just friendly enough to have an intelligent conversation with him.

 

For instance, he's talking to her, asking about her, but....she asks nothing about him whatsoever....but she happily will answer any question she may have about him.

 

I met a woman through an event, and had been chatting with her on Facebook, talking about dating in general, and says...in dating, both online and in RL, that most men want nothing serious...and has lead to some frustration on her part, and of course had been single for a few years.

 

That being said, I said "Well since we're both looking for something serious, how about you and I get together for drinks sometime?"

 

The conversation went silent for 10 minutes, and I said, "Wow disappeared" but then she responded she was busy getting something from her car.

 

But not a response to me asking her out (either yes or no)

 

And I said, "oh okay, since you're busy, let me know when you'd like to get together for drinks."

 

And I left it at that.

 

That being said, was it stupid to ask her out in that example?

Posted

No.

 

What did you have to lose?

 

A facebook buddy? :lmao:

 

Good job. Keep going...

Posted

Its not the best idea but in my case i usually get cold vibes so my only choice is to ask a women out when the vibe isnt great because it never is for me

  • Author
Posted
Its not the best idea but in my case i usually get cold vibes so my only choice is to ask a women out when the vibe isnt great because it never is for me

 

Well, true, one cannot be a good predictor of "vibes", so take a shot, ask them out, see what happens.

 

In my case, she completely cut off our conversation, literally didn't answer me. (kind of immature on her part).

Posted

Worth a shot, but the odds are against you.

 

Let's say you're an average looking guy and you get a positive response from cold approaches 1% of the time. You go to an event with 200 people and notice 1 girl who's glancing at you and playing with her hair. You go up and talk to her and notice signs of interest:

 

She's giving long answers to your open ended questions.

Standing in close proximity to you.

More eye contact, smiling more than usual

Mirroring your posture

Feet pointed towards you

Biting her lip

 

These are good signs of interest (maybe a 50% chance she's faking interest and just being an attention wh0re), so your odds are good that she'll say yes to being asked out.

 

Now what about the other girls in room who aren't showing any interest. Maybe there's 1 girl that's interested in you, but is too shy to make any eye contact. The remaining 98 are genuinely not interested, so your chance of finding the shy, interested girl is like finding a needle in a haystack. Your chance of getting shot down is really high when there's no vibe.

Posted

Not a bad thing. The only bad thing is when men react poorly after getting turned down.

 

This woman could have answered with some form of "thanks but no thanks". She took the cowardly way out, but that's fine, it's very common, and I'd consider this "average behavior". But regardless, mission accomplished, now you know, and you'll leave her alone. Really, that's all women want - after the "no", you don't stalk her.

 

Not a big deal, you win some, you lose some. As long as you know you are not a creeper, and you don't sound like one, the more negative that a woman reacts to your approach, the more she is likely to be a psycho bitch, and the more you should thank your lucky stars that things end right there.

 

When you are out meeting women and doing your single guy thing, you have to use the power of visualization. Visualize as if you were Neo, doing the famous Matrix move, dodging all the bullets.

  • Like 1
Posted

In my opinion it's not a bad thing to ask someone out regardless of the vibe unless you mean bad in the form of outcome. If so then yes it's a bad thing depending on how attractive you are in general as likely that person is disinterested or uninterested and will remain so unless you have such attractive qualities.

 

I don't think it was stupid to ask her out you wanted to find out if you had a chance and you got an implied answer.

×
×
  • Create New...