mearl20 Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 (edited) Last December, I met a pretty attractive guy at my summer/winter job. He randomly started talking to me at my work and he was very sweet, funny and frequently told me that I looked familiar. Turns out he was my coworker’s roommate. The next day my coworker told me that his roommate had a crush on me. I thought nothing of it and was flattered but moved on, didn’treally care. A few weeks later, I went to my work Christmas party and he showedup with the guy I work with. He tried dancing with me and talked to me for a while and we exchanged numbers. I didn’t really care that much and wasn’t too sure about him. I wasn’t even sure about giving him my number because a few days after the party, I went back to school a few hours away so I didn’t think itwas worth it From that day on, he texted me every single day for three months straight. He would text me about anything and everything, and he would start with “good morning miss ‘my name’ ”. We texted throughout the whole day and he would ask about my day, my classes, etc. We usually kept going back and forth with texting until 2 or 3 every night and he told me he really enjoyed talking to me. We even frequently sent pictures to each other (not dirty ones)-one was supposedly to his grandma who wanted to know what I looked like when he told her about me. He told me I was beautiful and that he couldn’t wait to see me. A few times he even told me to call him if I needed someone to talk to when I walked to my college house bymyself at night in case anything happened. He was always sweet, listened to what I had to say and I listened to him. His texts never leaned towards sex either. Also mutual friends told me that he was “head over heels in love with me”. A few times he told me he missed me as well (this was after we hung out a few times). It seemed to be going in a very good direction. Throughout the semester, I would come home for the weekend a few times and we would hang out sometimes. He took me out to the movies and paid for me-even little things like a drink or popcorn, he never let me pay even when I offered. Typically after a movie we would go back to his place and cuddle and watch more movies and make out-he’s pretty touchy-feely. Butwhenever I would stop him from going further he didn’t seem to mind and would just go back to cuddling and sometimes try again later, haha. He would often see if I could see him the next day-even when he was watching his younger siblings, but most of the time, I had to drive back to school early due to the weather. I went to his house for a party he threw once and even though he was extremely drunk, he was still sweet and told me to be careful driving home and to text him. Another time, I went to a club with him, his friend and my friend. He was very nice to my friend and his friend already knew who I was. The whole night he acted like we were practically dating. He held my hand or put his arm around my shoulder whenever we’d walk somewhere, he danced with me the entire time and usually squeezed me from behind tightly when we would be standing there. At one point my friend was turning down a bunch of guys who wanted to dance with her and he made the comment that she was so pretty she had to bat them away, then he said “I don’t have to get turned down because I already have my girl” or something along those lines-it was hard to hear in the club. Then he tried to get me to go back to his place but I told him I was going home and he understood and told me to text him when I got home and that he hadn’t had that much fun in a long time. I was so excited for summer to come so I could see him more.When it did come around, we went to a movie then again went back to his apartment to watch a couple more. This time it ended up being really late and he told meI could stay over if I wanted to because he didn’t want me driving home thatlate. He also told me “nothing would happen” he just thought it was late-of course he wanted something to. So I stayed the night and he cuddled with me all night. We made out a few times, but I always stopped him because I wasn’t ready to go further. He didn’t seem mad he just went back to cuddling. He literally did not turn over once and always held my hand or had his arm around my waist. Every time he would wake up, he would kiss my back, shoulder and cheek then adjust his arms a little, then go back to sleep, not really moving. He alsotold me how much he liked me and said he felt like it was one sided-which surprised me. He called me “baby” a few times throughout the night as well and once when I accidentally hit my head on his headboard he immediately asked if I was ok, rubbed my head and kissed me to “make it better” haha. In the morning,he called into work and told them he would be later than usual and would go in at noon. Then he stayed in bed with me. When I left for work, he kissed me then went back to sleep but texted me later asking how work was. After that night, things were never really the same. A week later, he tried to make plans for us to go to dinner in the city but they fell through because I had to work late so he invited me over to either a club or his place(he moved a little further away) and I felt like a booty call so I declined(even though I have never actually had sex with him). After that, he didn’t text me for a couple weeks so I decided to text him asking if he would want to go out. He said he wanted to but his grandparents would be in town then he asked if another day would work for me. Of course, I had to work so he invited me to his parent’s house instead when his family would be there. I told him I didn’t want to intrude and he said “Yes, I want you to come!”. The day rolled around and I hadn’t heard from him so I texted asking if we were still meeting up and he never texted me. This was almost a week ago and I haven’t heard from him at all. I don’t know what went wrong and I don’t really know what to do. I fell very very hard for him and everything he did, meant something to me. 6 months isn’t really that long to be talking to someone but it’s not something I can just let go like that, especially since he supposedly liked me so much. He has been flaky in the past a few times, like coming up with excuses about his phone. People tell me he was too flaky, that I can do way better and to just move on but that’s really hard to do since it was so random and sudden. I never acted clingy and never called or texted multiple times if he didn’t answer either. I’m definitely not over him despite other people’s feelings about him. Why did he just disappear? Why did he flake out on me? What can I do to bring him back? Sorry this is so long! All answers are appreciated!Thanks! Edited June 29, 2012 by mearl20 Adding
SJC2008 Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 If I red your thread correctly you never had sex with him in 6 months that's why he flaked. He way longer than most men would of IMO.
Author mearl20 Posted June 29, 2012 Author Posted June 29, 2012 So he was only looking for some? Or did I just make him wait to long and he still really liked me?
Emilia Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 He found someone he could have a full relationship with. I'm not really sure why you think he only wanted sex from you. How long is someone supposed to wait to prove themselves to you? A year? Two years? 1
SJC2008 Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 So he was only looking for some? Or did I just make him wait to long and he still really liked me? Guys who are "looking for some" don't hang around for 6 months. You'll be hard pressed to find a guy wait 2+ months now days. I am NOT saying you should have sex with a man if you aren't ready and don't ever have sex with a man out of fear of losing him. However, in this day and age you had a rare gem and he is gone now. I don't blame him and you shouldn't as you both were on different pages as to when sex should happen.
Author mearl20 Posted June 29, 2012 Author Posted June 29, 2012 Yeah I guess 6 months is a long time. I really did want to actually but I know I'm not ready (I've always been one to make sure I'm fully ready before I do something). I also wanted to wait until I was for sure we were only seeing each other. We never talked about our relationship really and idk if he was dating other people too. In the beginning probably not. Is there any way he'll come back? I really do miss him
SJC2008 Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 Yeah I guess 6 months is a long time. I really did want to actually but I know I'm not ready (I've always been one to make sure I'm fully ready before I do something). I also wanted to wait until I was for sure we were only seeing each other. We never talked about our relationship really and idk if he was dating other people too. In the beginning probably not. Is there any way he'll come back? I really do miss him I agree with not having a label 6 months in. The man should make that move IMO but it seems like the women wind up bringing up the exlusive talk. It's possie he could come back but he left for a reason. It's a sticky situation bc you'd basically have to tell him "I wanted to get closer to you but I want to be in a relationship first, and THEN when I'm comfortable getting closer to you we can get closer". Easier said than done of course!
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