oaks Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 I kinda like job interviews, actually. . . When you go in with an attitude of seeing if it's for you, then you can have a lot of fun! It's when you're trying to 'get' something from it that it seems nerve-wracking. Yes, that works too.
udolipixie Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 We both know that women, generally, bring nothing to the table other than their good looks. They expect men to put in everything else. I think this wouldn't be so bad if only they let their guards down more so the men can have a fighting chance of really courting them. That's right. Us men deserve to be rewarded generously for our efforts. Perhaps the gals you're interested in generally bring nothing to the table other than good looks and expect guys to put in everything else ( though how many guys do bring anything much less everything). No different to me than how many gals I know state guys bring nothing to the table other than money as that's the guys they date. Perhaps the gals in your experience haven't 'let their guards down more' as it's not a guard rather disinterest or rejection. I'm not seeing how it's right that guys deserve to be rewarded as I see no reason for guys to be rewarded for effort if the guy is unwanted and the effort is unwanted.
Disenchantedly Yours Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 Kofybean, had your tone been different, you may have actually garned some serious answers. Next time try, "Ladies, what things do you enjoy contributing when you go out on a date." It's like your bitter because women don't spread their legs as soon as you simply you show up and say hello. Both men and women got to pitch in to make a relationship work. Yes, women require some work. Women are people. Just like you. Subject to some of the same misadventures, mistakes, hurts, joys, passions, frustrations as you.
seachangeoflove Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 Perhaps the gals you're interested in generally bring nothing to the table other than good looks and expect guys to put in everything else ( though how many guys do bring anything much less everything). No different to me than how many gals I know state guys bring nothing to the table other than money as that's the guys they date. Perhaps the gals in your experience haven't 'let their guards down more' as it's not a guard rather disinterest or rejection. I'm not seeing how it's right that guys deserve to be rewarded as I see no reason for guys to be rewarded for effort if the guy is unwanted and the effort is unwanted. You mean you don't have women begging to give you blowjobs for being kind enough to notice their looks? Im so shocked 1
Sanman Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 (edited) Personally, I want to date SarahRose. She sounds like fun! That would be a date I would pay for. In the end, not dating does not mean not mating. I have met women in many ways and dating is only one of the ways that you can get a woman. The biggest qualm I always have is the lack of integrity of most people and how we, as a society, allow it. I have known plenty of women that have allowed men to pay for them and date them with less than honorable intentions on their part. I have known men that have practically date raped drunk girls at parties and no one, not even the girl that had the sex, cared or considered it a morally reprehensible thing. Just drunken sex. Right now, I have to female friends fighting over a make friend that they both drunkenly slept with on different nights while we were out partying. Why would a guy want to pay for a date and court a woman who would get drunk and give it away to some other guys? I often wonder if the new guy one of them brings around knows that just about every guy he is hanging out with has banged the girl he likes and is paying for. This is the problem. If I don't know you that well, I have no idea, as a guy, if I am a serious consideration to an honest woman or the guy buying dinner for the woman who was doing lines of coke off of Charlie Sheen's c*ck last night. Edited June 28, 2012 by Sanman
udolipixie Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 Why would a guy want to pay for a date and court a woman who would get drunk and give it away to some other guys? Perhaps because many guys would give it away to some other gals without even being drunk. 1
Sanman Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 Perhaps because many guys would give it away to some other gals without even being drunk. Which would be a more legitimate concern if you paid for men. However, many do not even want to pay for themselves!
udolipixie Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 Which would be a more legitimate concern if you paid for men. However, many do not even want to pay for themselves! Seems like for you as a guy is paying her sexual behavior is the only legitimate concern and his own sexual behavior is a lesser point he's not held accountable for or judged for. Why would it how legitimate the concern is depends on if you're paying for the person? It is that for you he's the buyer and she's the commodity and since he's paying she should have appropriate sexual behavior.
Sanman Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 Seems like for you as a guy is paying her sexual behavior is the only legitimate concern and his own sexual behavior is a lesser point he's not held accountable for or judged for. Why would it how legitimate the concern is depends on if you're paying for the person? It is that for you he's the buyer and she's the commodity and since he's paying she should have appropriate sexual behavior. No, it has to do with transparency. If someone were giving something away for free to other people (be it a product, a service, sex, or their company) and then turned around and charged you for that very same thing, how would you feel? Should a man cheat on a woman that is paying for him, I would feel the same way. Alternatively, tell the guy before he pays that, for example, you got drunk and slept a number of the guy friends you hang out with on a regular basis. If he still chooses to pay to court you after that, it is on him.
udolipixie Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 No, it has to do with transparency. If someone were giving something away for free to other people (be it a product, a service, sex, or their company) and then turned around and charged you for that very same thing, how would you feel? Should a man cheat on a woman that is paying for him, I would feel the same way. Alternatively, tell the guy before he pays that, for example, you got drunk and slept a number of the guy friends you hang out with on a regular basis. If he still chooses to pay to court you after that, it is on him. Seems for you the thinking is if a gal has casual sex and decides to date a guy who pays for her the guy is a chump. Rather than transparency it's more inline with he's the buyer she's the commodity and since he's financing the dates she should have appropriate sexual behavior while his is a lesser point he's not held accountable for or judged for. Amusing a guy cheating on a gal that is paying for him has you feeling the same way rather than the equal of a gal paying for a guy that has slept around.
Sanman Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 Seems for you the thinking is if a gal has casual sex and decides to date a guy who pays for her the guy is a chump. Rather than transparency it's more inline with he's the buyer she's the commodity and since he's financing the dates she should have appropriate sexual behavior while his is a lesser point he's not held accountable for or judged for. Amusing a guy cheating on a gal that is paying for him has you feeling the same way rather than the equal of a gal paying for a guy that has slept around. We're mincing words now. A girl paying for a guy that sleeps around is the same thing and I do feel bad for that person. I did not invent courting behavior. That is what courting behavior is all about. You are paying for a woman in the hopes that she will bestow upon you things she does not for other men. If a woman is not offering anything more if you pay for her than if you don't, then why pay? If you want to be courted, then you need to be worth courting, no? If I am paying, I want the assurance that you will not get drunk to tomorrow and bang some other guy because we are 'dating' and not 'exclusive'. Now two people getting know each other and paying for themselves have the right to do as they please. That to me is the same as two friends getting together.
seachangeoflove Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 (edited) A girl paying for a guy that sleeps around is the same thing and I do feel bad for that person. I did not invent courting behavior. That is what courting behavior is all about. You are paying for a woman in the hopes that she will bestow upon you things she does not for other men. If a woman is not offering anything more if you pay for her than if you don't, then why pay? If you want to be courted, then you need to be worth courting, no? so, if a girl has a FWB and sleeps with him the night before your date. You think buying her a cup of coffee entitles you to sex too? Or renders her 'uncourtable' you're whole post is so.....weird and really makes no sense. um. ok. Interesting thought process. edit, I am glad that my experience in life and dating has been nothing like 99.9% of posters on love shack! Edited June 28, 2012 by seachangeoflove 2
seachangeoflove Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 (edited) If I am paying, I want the assurance that you will not get drunk to tomorrow and bang some other guy because we are 'dating' and not 'exclusive'. so paying for what? coffee? dinner? What if some other dude bought those drinks....then is she allowed to bang him? after all, he paid? shouldn't he get something in return? You think cos you spend 5-20 dollars on someone you have the right to dictate what they do? wow. and the men here say women are entitled. in another post you said something about being angry if you found out you paid for something, and someone else got that 'something' for free. You're a grad student aren't you? Yeah....that happens all the time in the real world--in sex dating and otherwise. Sorry to break it do you buddy. so if you paid MSRP for a car and I walk in and flash my tits and get a deal for 2500 under MSRP......well, get ready to feel like a chump a lot! Edited June 28, 2012 by seachangeoflove
Sanman Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 so, if a girl has a FWB and sleeps with him the night before your date. You think buying her a cup of coffee entitles you to sex too? Or renders her 'uncourtable' you're whole post is so.....weird and really makes no sense. um. ok. Interesting thought process. edit, I am glad that my experience in life and dating has been nothing like 99.9% of posters on love shack! No, I think it entitles me to the assurance that she will not be sleeping with someone other than me while she is seeing me. That actually was the in those 'good old' days' where men were chivalrous. If she does not like it, she should pay for her own cup of coffee and do as she pleases.
seachangeoflove Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 No, I think it entitles me to the assurance that she will not be sleeping with someone other than me while she is seeing me. That actually was the in those 'good old' days' where men were chivalrous. If she does not like it, she should pay for her own cup of coffee and do as she pleases. You can think that all you want. Good luck 1
Sanman Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 so paying for what? coffee? dinner? What if some other dude bought those drinks....then is she allowed to bang him? after all, he paid? shouldn't he get something in return? You think cos you spend 5-20 dollars on someone you have the right to dictate what they do? wow. and the men here say women are entitled. in another post you said something about being angry if you found out you paid for something, and someone else got that 'something' for free. You're a grad student aren't you? Yeah....that happens all the time in the real world--in sex dating and otherwise. Sorry to break it do you buddy. so if you paid MSRP for a car and I walk in and flash my tits and get a deal for 2500 under MSRP......well, get ready to feel like a chump a lot! Not a grad student, but a doctor completing a specialty fellowship. Glad to know you are the type to flash your tits for a deal on a car... Very high class. Oh, I never pay MSRP on a car
seachangeoflove Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 No, I think it entitles me to the assurance that she will not be sleeping with someone other than me while she is seeing me. That actually was the in those 'good old' days' where men were chivalrous. If she does not like it, she should pay for her own cup of coffee and do as she pleases. oh so do you ask women before you pay "hey are you planning on sleeping with anyone else? if so we're gonna split the bill." otherwise how would you even know? Suppose you did ask and she said yes. How would you react "ok, I have another date tomorrow, so I will pay for my coffee. " you'd probably not ask her out again anyway. So even being honest would get no where with you. Probably for the best again I swear I joined LS and feel like I stepped into some alternate reality....cos I have never experienced any of this in the 'real world' lol 1
seachangeoflove Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 (edited) Not a grad student, but a doctor completing a specialty fellowship. Glad to know you are the type to flash your tits for a deal on a car... Very high class. Oh, I never pay MSRP on a car it was an example. but you can think what ever you like of me. I don't own a car I ride a bike how about your hospital pays top dollar for a new surgical laser. Hospital down the street pays 10% less because the sales rep plays golf with that hospitals buyer. Feel like a chump? Or are they low class? small minded people. Edited June 28, 2012 by seachangeoflove
SarahRose Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 That's right! If you don't want to be asked any questions designed to assess compatibility and just want to 'go with the flow' ...then relax and enjoy your time in the friendzone. I find it comical that people spend more time researching a car they want to buy than getting to know someone they plan to put body parts into/allow into. What do I do on dates? Mostly observe. I think a lot of men especially younger ones don't care about compatibility. They saw you are attractive and they just want to get through all of the boring dating details so they can get to the sex part. 1
Sanman Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 she gets what she wants. being a doctor and completeing some 'speciaty fellowship' doesn't mean squat to females. males who spend too much time with their noses in books often do worst of all. Actually, I already have a gf. I've had no trouble getting women and the ones I liked have split dating costs including on the first date.
udolipixie Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 We're mincing words now. A girl paying for a guy that sleeps around is the same thing and I do feel bad for that person. I did not invent courting behavior. That is what courting behavior is all about. You are paying for a woman in the hopes that she will bestow upon you things she does not for other men. If a woman is not offering anything more if you pay for her than if you don't, then why pay? If you want to be courted, then you need to be worth courting, no? If I am paying, I want the assurance that you will not get drunk to tomorrow and bang some other guy because we are 'dating' and not 'exclusive'. Now two people getting know each other and paying for themselves have the right to do as they please. That to me is the same as two friends getting together. Seems more like your typing error as you stated 'Should a man cheat on a woman that is paying for him, I would feel the same way' not 'A girl paying for a guy that sleeps around is the same thing and I do feel bad for that person'. Stating what courting behavior and implying what is and isn't worth courting suggests inventing it's definition. I highly doubt courting is all about paying in hopes she bestows what she doesn't to other guys as it suggets the impression that most gals haven't bestowed sex upon other guys. 'Why pay a gal who isn't offering more if you pay for her than if you don't' is quite different from 'why pay a gal for something others get for free'. The former question implies you get the same thing whether you pay or not while the latter question implies when you pay you get the same thing others get for free. I thought your point was the guy is paying for a gal others had sex with for free not he's paying for a gal who is offering him sex for free. Bit curious as for you whether who is and isn't worth being a courter is based on sexual behavior as well. More curious as to where is the courted gal's assurance that the guy won't sleep with another gal since concern of his behavior is less legitimate if she's not paying for him and if she pays for herself they're not courting. Perhaps it's best suited to try communication or become exclusive if you want assurance a gal won't sleep with another guy since you're not exlcusive.
SarahRose Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 he can talk about his specialty medical fellowship while i'm having fun and building chemistry with a hottie. she has fun, i have fun. I'd rather talk about a medical fellowship.
RedRobin Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 If you want to be courted, then you need to be worth courting, no? If a man has double standards about his sexual behavior, it doesn't matter to me how much money he sends my way. Paying for the date wouldn't make the guy 'relationship material'. The fact that he decides to pay for dates doesn't make him a 'prize'. His personal integrity is the only thing that does. And that includes his ability to assume responsibility for his own sexuality... not expect women to do it for him. Now two people getting know each other and paying for themselves have the right to do as they please. That to me is the same as two friends getting together. Um... I've always paid my share, or attempted to. I don't tie sex to date paying. Never have. 1
Woggle Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 I hate dates that seem like job interviews. It always feels like a woman has an agenda instead of us just naturally falling for each other. I think one of the reasons my wife and I hit it off was that it just happened naturally. We genuinely enjoyed being with each other instead of feeling like she had an agenda with me. I don't mind paying on dates but I truly hate it when people act entitled with me. Ditch the entitlement complex and I am a very generous guy. 1
seachangeoflove Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 Actually, I already have a gf. I've had no trouble getting women and the ones I liked have split dating costs including on the first date. that means that they were banging other dudes after they were done on the date with you. or, did you just not ask? 1
Recommended Posts