Breck Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 In the past six years I have been in five dating/relationships and it hasn't been the length of time together that determines how hard it is to move forward. The two hardest people to move on from have been really insecure. The last one came from a broken family, abusive dad, dealt with insecure self image with casual sex, didn't see herself getting married, and has a drinking problem. She constantly feared that I would break up with her and so she ended up breaking up with me. Why is it so hard to move on from someone vulnerable like this? Why is it so much easier for me to move on from someone that has it all together and is strong? And 2 other things. Why does she constantly post photos of her at the bar hugging guys when she left me and never did this the six years on Facebook before we met? And why, when we do talk, is she so monotone and keeps things about her life so vague. She used to always be enthusiastic and tell stories about specific occurrences. The reason we talk is because we work in the same building and run into each other a couple of times a month.
Samilia Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 Maybe it's in your nature to be protective and you have a hard time letting go? She is illusive probably because she has moved on, or wants to move on. You say that she was in the constant state of fear that you would leave her, the picture might be her way of telling you "I am doing fine", or pretend to be.
Author Breck Posted June 27, 2012 Author Posted June 27, 2012 I would presume that she wants to move on because I can't imagine her thinking she would feel more secure being in a relationship with me. I just wish we could have a real conversation and start out slow where I can learn how to give her confidence in the areas she's insecure about. Part of her insecurities are that she has a big debt and came from a low income family and I come from a wealthy family. She says she can't live up to what I deserve. I don't care about 'what I deserve' because I want to be with her. What bothers me is that she is always watching me/looking at me when we are in the same area (I pretend like I don't see her because I'm trying to give her space). She always initiates the conversations when we do run into each other. I want her back, but I want to avoid the stupid artificial conversations we have and know how she is really feeling.
Samilia Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 I would have a tendency to say that "you deserve better" is the bs way of letting someone go. Like the "I need space" or "I need a break". 1
Balzac Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 Your statement is that you want her back but clearly you endeavor to change her. Rarely does that work into a healthy relationship. What exactly is your motive?
Author Breck Posted June 28, 2012 Author Posted June 28, 2012 My intention is not to change her at all, though her fear is that I am trying to change her. The opposite is actually true. I am tired of dating women that are high maintenance. She appreciated the simple things and I liked that. She also was easy going. She didn't get upset over the little things.
Author Breck Posted June 29, 2012 Author Posted June 29, 2012 What exactly is your motive? My motive is reconciliation.
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