avon20 Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 It just seems these days that a friends with benefits arrangement is becoming more common than committed relationships. What's going on?
seachangeoflove Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 humans need sex, companionship and love. They don't always have to come from the same person.
truth_seeker Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 It's a matter of convenience. People have so many options today, it's just easier to have multiple people in you phone and hook up with whomever you're in the mood to be with.
veggirl Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 For college-aged guys and girls, yeah probably more common. For the rest of us, I don't know. We live in a culture of indulgence--more for less. Sexual gratification without the work of having to be committed, I guess.
Mallow Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 Many people don't want to stress over commitment. No strings attached works for those who don't have time or interest to fully invest in a monogamous relationship. People have numerous options and wish to play the field before settling down.
Emilia Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 It is easier to jump from FWB to FWB than to find someone you want to commit to and maintain that relationship
SJC2008 Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 How does one make an arrangement like this...? Lol right. Is there an activities table on campus that says FWB's or something? Sign me up!
Green Light Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 How does one make an arrangement like this...? Especially for us middle aged people. Is there a website? Most of the middle aged women I see out in my town look pretty sour. Like a FWB situation would be the last thing on their minds. But you never know...
Titanwolf Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 I never could understand the concept of FWB, maybe it's because I'm not emotionally dead yet. How can you have sex with someone, but not feel the emotions and the desire to commit yourself to that person, that accompany it?. My Teacher once said "Sex is like sellotape, the first time you use it, the bond to the material is as strong as possible. Every time you remove it and place it on something else, the bond gets weaker and a part of it remains with the previous material. Eventually, the tape won't be able to stick to anything." He was a wise man me thinks. 1
Pasttense Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 (edited) So exactly when did this phrase/abbreviation come into common use? I only noticed it in the last few years. Edited June 27, 2012 by Pasttense
Ross MwcFan Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 It is easier to jump from FWB to FWB than to find someone you want to commit to and maintain that relationship For me it seems like it'd be the complete opposite.
Princess71 Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 I think it's become so prevalent because it's the only option for a lot of women. And it's the women's fault. Women started allowing this arrangement to happen and it's an ideal situation for a lot of men. Therefore women can't stand their ground anymore about wanting a commitment because the man can always find a girl that will go along with it. 4
eleanorhurting Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 I think it's become so prevalent because it's the only option for a lot of women. And it's the women's fault. Women started allowing this arrangement to happen and it's an ideal situation for a lot of men. Therefore women can't stand their ground anymore about wanting a commitment because the man can always find a girl that will go along with it. But you do not have to give in if you don't want to. For a year I met people who this was all they had to offer. But I stuck it out and when I started dating my now boyfriend I told him from the beginning I was not down for that and we are in a relationship now. Just because everyone is doing it does not mean you h ave to. 5
Princess71 Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 But you do not have to give in if you don't want to. For a year I met people who this was all they had to offer. But I stuck it out and when I started dating my now boyfriend I told him from the beginning I was not down for that and we are in a relationship now. Just because everyone is doing it does not mean you h ave to. Of course you don't have to. But there are fewer and fewer guys that want to commit and a lot of women feel this arrangement is better than nothing. 1
SincereOnlineGuy Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 It just seems these days that a friends with benefits arrangement is becoming more common than committed relationships. What's going on? I dunno about "more common than committed relationships"... but perhaps you mean "more common than in the past". Women who were in large part dependent upon men back before WW II have more recently joined the work force, become independent, and are well aware that they have the p*ssy, and thus they have the power in sex. They can have (sex) any way they want it, and now that they no longer have to barter with sex in exchange for everything else, they're experimenting without having to invest everything while so doing. Parallel to that, women are being less critiqued by the masses for taking greater control of their sex lives in such ways, and that eventually inspires more and more to opt for same.
eleanorhurting Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 Of course you don't have to. But there are fewer and fewer guys that want to commit and a lot of women feel this arrangement is better than nothing. I will take "nothing" over compromising what I believe in 2
El Brujo Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 humans need sex I've never needed sex. Guess I'm a robot or something.
Woggle Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 FWB is a situation that men and women freely choose to take part in. Nothing against it but it is not something that men force upon women.
canuckgirl7 Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 I never could understand the concept of FWB, maybe it's because I'm not emotionally dead yet. How can you have sex with someone, but not feel the emotions and the desire to commit yourself to that person, that accompany it?. My Teacher once said "Sex is like sellotape, the first time you use it, the bond to the material is as strong as possible. Every time you remove it and place it on something else, the bond gets weaker and a part of it remains with the previous material. Eventually, the tape won't be able to stick to anything." He was a wise man me thinks. I completely agree with you and I like the analogy your teacher used. Really good. I'm definitely a committed relationship kind of girl and I find it hard to find a guy who wants that. I have met so many guys who just want to see me or be FWB. I'm having a really hard time finding a guy who wants a relationship and since I won't do stuff with a guy unless I'm in a relationship they get rid of me fast. I think it's become so prevalent because it's the only option for a lot of women. And it's the women's fault. Women started allowing this arrangement to happen and it's an ideal situation for a lot of men. Therefore women can't stand their ground anymore about wanting a commitment because the man can always find a girl that will go along with it. I agree with you. The only option I've been given my guys is FWB or seeing each other, but I haven't settled for that. I'm still holding out and hoping I find a guy who wants to be in a relationship with me. It's so true that guys can easily find plenty of girls who are willing to have that arrangement so it makes it hard for girls who want a guy who wants a relationship. Of course you don't have to. But there are fewer and fewer guys that want to commit and a lot of women feel this arrangement is better than nothing. Couldn't have said it better.
TheFinalWord Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 I never could understand the concept of FWB, maybe it's because I'm not emotionally dead yet. How can you have sex with someone, but not feel the emotions and the desire to commit yourself to that person, that accompany it?. My Teacher once said "Sex is like sellotape, the first time you use it, the bond to the material is as strong as possible. Every time you remove it and place it on something else, the bond gets weaker and a part of it remains with the previous material. Eventually, the tape won't be able to stick to anything." He was a wise man me thinks. Good illustration. During sex, bonding hormones (oxytocin in women, vasopressin in men) is released. Each new sexual partner, the strength of the emotional bond is weakened. It does have consequences even for men. "Males have their own neurochemical related to bonding: vasopressin. It floods the male brain during sexual intercourse, causing him to feel at least partially bonded to every woman with whom he's been intimate. If men begin a pattern of having sex with partner after partner, they risk not developing the ability to form long-term emotional attachment. As McIlhaney and Bush put it: "Their inability to bond after multiple liaisons is almost like tape that loses its stickiness after being applied and removed multiple times."" The science of sex (OneNewsNow.com) A lot of times in sex ed all we here about is "use a condom"; no one talks about the mental/spiritual consequences of sex! 3
oldshirt Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 I dunno about "more common than committed relationships"... but perhaps you mean "more common than in the past". Women who were in large part dependent upon men back before WW II have more recently joined the work force, become independent, and are well aware that they have the p*ssy, and thus they have the power in sex. They can have (sex) any way they want it, and now that they no longer have to barter with sex in exchange for everything else, they're experimenting without having to invest everything while so doing. Parallel to that, women are being less critiqued by the masses for taking greater control of their sex lives in such ways, and that eventually inspires more and more to opt for same. In other words people are doing it because they can.
Feelsgoodman Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 I think it's become so prevalent because it's the only option for a lot of women. And it's the women's fault. Women started allowing this arrangement to happen and it's an ideal situation for a lot of men. Therefore women can't stand their ground anymore about wanting a commitment because the man can always find a girl that will go along with it. I agree that it's the women's fault but not for the reason you've given. Women nowadays are so obsessed with "not settling" and chasing after that elusive Mr. Perfect (whom they will never meet) that they forced to rely on FWB arrangements for satisfying their physical needs while the never-ending search goes on. 1
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