Makavelli Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 Now I know most people will prolly say GET RID OF HER! But it is easier said than done. Here is the situation I have been dating this girl for almost 8 months now, we live in an apartment together... she helps me with rent but I make more than her so I help out alot. Yes we did move in together rather early but at that time it was a quick choice that had to be made. Both of our names are on the lease. The problem I have is I am guessing im "to Nice?" I help her fix her car, give her massages every night, buy food for her all the time, pay more of the bills than she does, gives her advice about so many things, go to the gym together and work out, ive helped her loose alot of weight. Im always there for her and nearly pay for everything and make sure she has a good birthday and Christmas etc. Problem is, when she gets mad about something she gets very abusive, she bites, ive been bit on my face, chest, punched in the eye, bruised numerous times, cut, scratched, hair pulled, she even spit in my face sometimes. I have never ever laid my hands on her in any way... I just take it I guess. Most of the time she apologizes, but thats it... a simple im sorry, she says alot of mean stuff to, like if I txt her I Love you she gets mad sometimes and goes on how I say it to much when it was like the only time that day, her she talks to me like crap alot ... seems to up her friends and down me... I honestly do everything and im not a bad looking guy at all... I totaled my car last month and im going through therapy and she gets mad I complain about my neck, I buy a G35 and shes jealous.... If I don't eat the same time she does its a competition on loosing weight. I do all these nice things, in my view im a perfect boyfriend for any girl... I put to much heart out there and I continue to do so... her mom hates me to no idea why, her mom is worse than her as far as attitude.... I think they are both Bi-Polar I can't say for sure... but the rage my gf gets is unreal.... Im a 27 year old guy and used to train MMA and never seen a guy get this mad... Need advice and views.
january2011 Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 (edited) As far as I know, all the physical abuse is classed as assault in my location. And the mean things she says sound like emotional/mental abuse. I don't know about Texas, but my guess is that the authorities there would take a very dim view of her behaviour. Please do not make the mistake of thinking that just because you are a man and have trained in MMA, you cannot be the victim of abuse from a female partner. You are being abused and you need to leave. You need to get out of this situation asap by moving out. Pack some essentials and stay with a friend/family member or at a shelter. Do not let her know where you are going. I'd also suggest that you document everything that has happened, including dates, in case you need to refer to some notes at a later date. Call the police if she attacks you again, and file a restraining order. Make arrangements to collect the rest of your things at a later date - take a friend with you. She won't stop until you make her stop. Posting on this forum suggests that you already know that what she's doing is wrong. Take the next steps offline by getting out of this situation. Here is a resource list for Texas (scroll down for the relevant contact numbers), not sure how up to date it is (perhaps someone in your state will come along to verify): Resource List United States - Texas Edit: I can see that you posted a similar thread almost two months ago detailing pretty much the same behaviour. You need to get out asap. Edited June 26, 2012 by january2011
whichwayisup Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 Now I know most people will prolly say GET RID OF HER! But it is easier said than done. Here is the situation I have been dating this girl for almost 8 months now, we live in an apartment together... she helps me with rent but I make more than her so I help out alot. Yes we did move in together rather early but at that time it was a quick choice that had to be made. Both of our names are on the lease. The problem I have is I am guessing im "to Nice?" I help her fix her car, give her massages every night, buy food for her all the time, pay more of the bills than she does, gives her advice about so many things, go to the gym together and work out, ive helped her loose alot of weight. Im always there for her and nearly pay for everything and make sure she has a good birthday and Christmas etc. Problem is, when she gets mad about something she gets very abusive, she bites, ive been bit on my face, chest, punched in the eye, bruised numerous times, cut, scratched, hair pulled, she even spit in my face sometimes. I have never ever laid my hands on her in any way... I just take it I guess. Most of the time she apologizes, but thats it... a simple im sorry, she says alot of mean stuff to, like if I txt her I Love you she gets mad sometimes and goes on how I say it to much when it was like the only time that day, her she talks to me like crap alot ... seems to up her friends and down me... I honestly do everything and im not a bad looking guy at all... I totaled my car last month and im going through therapy and she gets mad I complain about my neck, I buy a G35 and shes jealous.... If I don't eat the same time she does its a competition on loosing weight. I do all these nice things, in my view im a perfect boyfriend for any girl... I put to much heart out there and I continue to do so... her mom hates me to no idea why, her mom is worse than her as far as attitude.... I think they are both Bi-Polar I can't say for sure... but the rage my gf gets is unreal.... Im a 27 year old guy and used to train MMA and never seen a guy get this mad... Need advice and views. This girlfriend of yours is abusing you. Bi polar or not, what she is doing is wrong and if you continue to live with her, help her with everything, this is going to get worse. She is relying on you way too much. You offer way too much. She expects it now..All the time. Fast forward you life 3 years from now. Married with a few kids in tow. She is acting the same way as she is now but worse. Do you want that type of atmospere for your children? To see her abusing you? For her to be abusive to the kids? It's only going to get worse as time goes on .. UNLESS she gets help. Gets assessed by a Dr and also seeks anger management. It may come down to ending with her because things will take it's toll on you. You know you cannot go on with how things are now. Something has to change! Are you afraid of opening up and talking to her? Is it possible to even attempt to talk to her about all this? If yes, that's a HUGE red flag. Her mom hates you. So will she ever accept you? Probably not, even more so since she has the same anger issues and is probably Bp too. This has to end..
Kandyr14 Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 I had the similar situation except he's a guy. I eventually left because I felt if I got treated this way it would only continue. Now he made more money and paid for expenses but even that didn't stop me. It took me pressing charges in order for him to never do that again. Now I'm not saying this is what u should do because it does make u feel horrible. But you need to put your foot down. Your not a doormat and you can't be stepped on. Scare her a lil, move out for a few days so she can see what it's like without you. I like you did all the nice things for him...massages and ****. So right now your being taken for granted. If you don't stop it now it will get worse. I should take my own advice but it's harder to see from the perspective of urself.....hope this helps a lil!! Luck
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