Is this Selfish, Protective, or Vindictive Behavior?

[tryingtodiscoveranew]

Has anyone ever dumped someone just to avoid being dumped? If you have, was it because of low self esteem, fear of getting hurt, or because this person had dumped you before (in the past)?

[AlexanderJames]

I've been dumped because I had previously dumped her.

It was all three. She was very vindictive about it. Went to great lengths to lead me on and get me back not for reconciliation but to cause me the pain I had regrettedly caused her.

I think in a way it was to protect herself as well as to hurt me. Which I personally think was pretty selfish of her.

 

But at the end of the day she became the person she despised in me. I think the only reason a couple should break up is because they are not meant for each other.

Not through spite, or through fear, or anger. These emotions make us do drastic things. If you love someone and want to be with them. Then fight for them, and fight to stay by their side. Otherwise you just need to close the book on that chapter and move on.

[tryingtodiscoveranew]

I've been dumped because I had previously dumped her.

It was all three. She was very vindictive about it. Went to great lengths to lead me on and get me back not for reconciliation but to cause me the pain I had regrettedly caused her.

I think in a way it was to protect herself as well as to hurt me. Which I personally think was pretty selfish of her.

 

But at the end of the day she became the person she despised in me. I think the only reason a couple should break up is because they are not meant for each other.

Not through spite, or through fear, or anger. These emotions make us do drastic things. If you love someone and want to be with them. Then fight for them, and fight to stay by their side. Otherwise you just need to close the book on that chapter and move on.

 

Wow...what an excellent interpretation. My ex actually told me she dumped me first, because she was afraid I would eventually be disappointed, or something bad would happen (because I was guilty of dumping her in the past).

 

I read on a post awhile back that ex's (dumpees) want to hurt us subconsciously. So, everything you said makes perfect sense.

[AlexanderJames]

Sorry to hear that bud. Sounds like you two just werent meant to be but that doesnt make it any less painful.

 

Just keep telling yourself that you're doing right by you because you are. If you cant make yourself happy, then no one can.

 

Glad I could be of help