harry.w Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 This is my first post on here and it's mainly down to the fact that if I asked a friend they'd either a) tell me what I want to hear or b) laugh and tell me to "man up". Oh, and hi - I'm Harry. Basically at the moment the nature of my job entails a lot of travel, etc, however, this is changing soon. Most of my relationships have ended somewhat prematurely and although it is obviously not the sole reason, the time I spend away usually ends up being one major factor in the breakdown of previous relationships. A lot of the time, the case seems to be I never get to be "close" enough to someone before going away again so it has a knock-on effect on everything else (ie, if there's nothing there to start with (like feelings being established), then being away certainly isn't going to help). My last (and longest relationship) lasted about 11 months in total and it didn't as such end greatly, and it took me the best part of a year to get over it due to various reasons. Although I in no way "need" someone, I do often find myself wanting to establish a good long-term relationship as, yes, like a lot of people - I would like a normal life! That info is somewhat irrelevant but it's just a bit of background which may explain some things that I'm about to mention. So, knowing my situation is about to change, I decided to give online dating a try. I was away at the time so started exchanging e-mails a number of women for a number of weeks and a few of them I didn't want to meet eventually, for various reasons, whereas others I did. A few ladies in particular interested me and when I returned met up with all three of them. I'm not the type to "serial date" and also two of them didn't interest me, whereas one did so I broke it off with the other two and decided to get to know the other one better. Anyway, the first date was relatively short as she was working in the evening so we just met for lunch. Even though there was the obvious nerves we seemed to get along and after lunch she invited me around to hers for a drink. After the date ended I travelled back home and had every intent on calling her the next day rather than the same night (you know, to avoid sounding too "keen"), but shortly after I got in a had received a text off her saying it was nice to meet me and she liked me, etc. So, obviously since she had already took the onus to contact me, I obviously replied and said we should do it again sometime. Within that she informed me she was free the next weekend. Within a few days we arranged what we were going to do and all was good. Initially I was just going to take her out for the day but she insisted after that I could stay over hers the night and sleep on the sofa. The day before the date I didn't hear much off her but put that down to her working most of the day. Morning of the date I received a text asking if we could do it at some other time as she was feeling unwell. I was obviously disappointed but as I felt it was a valid enough point I agreed. She text me later when she'd had a bit of rest and I suggested if she felt any better the next day we could meet up for a few hours, obviously not replicate the plans but at least do something, she seemed happy with that suggestion and told me she liked me a lot. So the next day we met, had lunch and took a nice long walk and the date lasted about 4 hours. There were a few moments where there was no conversation but in general it flowed pretty well. We even arranged the third date the next week and she asked if I wanted to stay over at hers then the next day we could have a picnic. Come the end of the date it ended in a kiss and all felt well. The next week I was very busy on course so couldn't really speak much to her so had to limit contact to a couple of texts here and there. Half way through the week, however, she informed me that her work had misinformed to about her hours and she was in fact working the weekend (was meant to have it off as she was then going to go on holiday with her friend the following Monday). Once again, I was obviously disappointed but I know myself work can throw surprising things on you. She did try and rearrange her hours but her work wasn't flexible on this. As this was the second time it had happened, I did actually question whether this was deliberate but she assured me it wasn't. I did say we can always meet when she got back off her holiday and she said "definitely". The next day we chatted on the phone for a while and all seemed OK. Later on I sent her a message apologising for questioning whether she was messing me about or not; I didn't necessarily think I was in the wrong for asking this question as it was a legitimate question - I didn't want to be lead on understandably, but at the same time I didn't want to appear to have any kind of trust issues. She seemed relatively fine with this and we exchanged a few messages the next day. Today is the day she goes on her holidays so last night I messaged her wishing her a great time and was looking forward to seeing her on her return, to which she just replied with a smiley face. Now, as an outsider looking in would you think I am reading too much into things or would you agree that because plans have changed twice now and her tone has changed somewhat that I'd have reason to be alarmed? Thanks.
Philosoraptor Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 Either be patient or move on, it's your call. If you like her enough to wait then choose patience and see what happens. If not, then look elsewhere it's not like you're in a relationship yet anyways. Just make a choice and stick with it. But nothing stands out too much to me that I'd think she was just playing around. But I generally give people the benefit of the doubt.
Author harry.w Posted June 25, 2012 Author Posted June 25, 2012 Either be patient or move on, it's your call. If you like her enough to wait then choose patience and see what happens. If not, then look elsewhere it's not like you're in a relationship yet anyways. Just make a choice and stick with it. But nothing stands out too much to me that I'd think she was just playing around. But I generally give people the benefit of the doubt. Yeah that's the way I'm looking at it too! I mean, it's not as though the reasons are stupid ones, feeling ill and work commitments are pretty good reasons and I trust that she's not having me on as she doesn't seem the type. Patience is the option I'm taking I reckon; the only thing that makes me apprehensive is the fact that she's seeminlygone from mega keen to not so keen but I'm unsure as to put itdown to lack of interest/liking me from her side as she has, to be fair, the one who has made a lot of the suggestions.
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