alonelyfigure Posted June 24, 2012 Posted June 24, 2012 Hi Sorry if this is in the wrong section. My ex fiancee of 6 years left me for a guy she had sex with at a wedding that I wasn't at. That was now 8 weeks ago and she is now in a relationship with him. I am not here to ask advice about that, but she has done a few things that I can't understand and wonder if anyone else has had similar experiences. After we officially broke up and she told me she wanted to see him, I had to give her £3000. I had 3 months in which to give her that but to spare any hassle I got it straight away as she was being nasty. I packed all her stuff as well, she wasn't happy that I never gift wrapped everything down to a teaspoon. The week later she is in touch with me asking for a kettle, I asked her to leave me alone. Then she gets in touch the week after that asking for a tv aerial. I tell her to do one and leave me to get on with things, as I had given her that money straight away and other things worth more that I never needed to. She then posts on fb about moving into her new place and she should've done it sooner which understandably annoyed me as she had said she still wanted us to be friends at some point in the future. I texted her saying that if she wanted to be friends then that is no way to act. I then hear through a mutual friend that even though she is seeing the bloke, she only put up her fb status as being in a relationship with the guy to piss me off. My question is this, is this normal behaviour? She certainly didn't hate me, a month before she slept with the guy at the wedding she had suggested we go elope and get married this October. We had also had a love holiday the month before that. I accept that she has moved on, kind of anyway, I am just perplexed as to why she is acting so vindictive about the whole thing rather than showing regret. Is it a sign of attention seeking, is she trying to stifle me and make me look at how wonderful her new life supposedly is? I am confused!
FitChick Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 She wants to pretend she is the victim. Otherwise, she'd feel guilty and look bad.
Feelsgoodman Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 Is this real life? You sound totally whipped, dude. Why did you have to give her money and pack her stuff? And why do you want to be friends with a ho that cheated on you? Don't you have even the smallest semblance of a spine? To answer your question, she is acting spiteful because she hates you...for being such a pussy. Women absolutely despise men who are weak. I wouldn't be surprised if that was the reason she cheated on you in the first place.
lospantalonsfancie Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 (edited) Your story reminds me of a buddy of mine. He dated this girl for 7 years, was good to her, etc. Her career went down hill, and then she injured herself when she didn't have health insurance, and he paid thousands of dollars for her surgery. Then, after she failed to salvage her career, she became a part-time ski instructor and would be gone on the weekends and some week days so he barely saw her for a few months, but otherwise things seemed to be normal. Then one day, he learns from facebook that he and her are no longer in a relationship --- she dumped her bf of 7 years, who stood by her through thick and thin, and spent thousands of dollars helping her through her rough patches, by changing her facebook relationship status!! Apparently, she met another ski instructor on the mountain and decided to start dating him! Long story short, next thing he knows she is requests her half of the furniture through a lawyer. He gives her all the peices to the ikea furniture, but leaves out all the gazillion little screws out of spite!!! She refuses to acknowledge that she is in debt to him for thousands of dollars for her surgery, and for that they go to court. Since they broke up and by the time of the hearing, my buddy had been fortunate to see the startup he is a part of get bought out by a large company, and became loaded! He shows up to court with a new girlfriend in hand, and flaunting his newfound money. She, on the other hand, had gotten dumped by her ski-instructor guy and put on weight in the meantime. I wasn't there, but I've been told it was a sad sight. Silver lining, my buddy has a great girl and a lot of money and happiness now. His ex girlfriend is, as far as I've heard, fat and alone and without a career now. Lesson is that what goes around, comes around. But it wouldn't have hurt had you forgotten to pack all the screws when you returned your girlfriend's stuff!! Edited June 25, 2012 by lospantalonsfancie
Author alonelyfigure Posted June 25, 2012 Author Posted June 25, 2012 Is this real life? You sound totally whipped, dude. Why did you have to give her money and pack her stuff? And why do you want to be friends with a ho that cheated on you? Don't you have even the smallest semblance of a spine? To answer your question, she is acting spiteful because she hates you...for being such a pussy. Women absolutely despise men who are weak. I wouldn't be surprised if that was the reason she cheated on you in the first place. I had to give her the money as it was part of a pre-nup type contract we had when we moved in together. I never put her on the mortgage (luckily) so we had this drawn up instead. She has a wee girl that I brought up as my own for 6 years, so I decided to give her the money straight away so that they could get settled and I wouldn't have it hanging over my head. I packed her stuff cos I didn't want her round the house. I wasn't weak in the relationship, I was in love. However I was very much in control of certain things which she never liked, such as the finances, as she would spend all the money if she had the chance. She would insist we go abroad on holiday when we couldn't afford it but I would not let us as we never had the money. She cheated on me because she was bored, the last 6 months have been stressful with us both being older students in our final year and trying to run a house at the same time. She also cheated on my cos she's a hoebag.
Author alonelyfigure Posted June 25, 2012 Author Posted June 25, 2012 Your story reminds me of a buddy of mine. He dated this girl for 7 years, was good to her, etc. Her career went down hill, and then she injured herself when she didn't have health insurance, and he paid thousands of dollars for her surgery. Then, after she failed to salvage her career, she became a part-time ski instructor and would be gone on the weekends and some week days so he barely saw her for a few months, but otherwise things seemed to be normal. Then one day, he learns from facebook that he and her are no longer in a relationship --- she dumped her bf of 7 years, who stood by her through thick and thin, and spent thousands of dollars helping her through her rough patches, by changing her facebook relationship status!! Apparently, she met another ski instructor on the mountain and decided to start dating him! Long story short, next thing he knows she is requests her half of the furniture through a lawyer. He gives her all the peices to the ikea furniture, but leaves out all the gazillion little screws out of spite!!! She refuses to acknowledge that she is in debt to him for thousands of dollars for her surgery, and for that they go to court. Since they broke up and by the time of the hearing, my buddy had been fortunate to see the startup he is a part of get bought out by a large company, and became loaded! He shows up to court with a new girlfriend in hand, and flaunting his newfound money. She, on the other hand, had gotten dumped by her ski-instructor guy and put on weight in the meantime. I wasn't there, but I've been told it was a sad sight. Silver lining, my buddy has a great girl and a lot of money and happiness now. His ex girlfriend is, as far as I've heard, fat and alone and without a career now. Lesson is that what goes around, comes around. But it wouldn't have hurt had you forgotten to pack all the screws when you returned your girlfriend's stuff!! The thought about the screws did cross my mind on more than one occasion!
Author alonelyfigure Posted June 25, 2012 Author Posted June 25, 2012 She wants to pretend she is the victim. Otherwise, she'd feel guilty and look bad. That is kind of what I think. She wants me to react to it and hate her for it. It really annoys her that I am so laid back about it, at least that is how I am making myself appear to her. I know that if I hate her for it, it would help her with her guilt. So I suppose I am not going to because 1, I can't just suddenly hate her after all this, and 2 - If I show her it bothers me that much she will feel good. Of course I feel bitter about it, as even though I don't know this guy, him, the ex and me all share mutual friends. However on the flip side, I can now afford to get a car, join the gym, holidays, etc as I no longer have to save for a wedding. Anyways sorry I am digressing, yeah I agree with what you say.
Snakechammah Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 Wow! You dodged a bullet!! Can you imagine how it would be like if this happened AFTER the wedding? After you've spent tons of money on the wedding... and she is officially entitled to everything you own as your legal wife? You should thank your lucky stars you got out of this one. She was the one who cheated and has the cheek to act so B*tchy. Incredible. Some people can stoop so low. Just be glad she's outta your life. Why is she still a friend on your facebook anyway?? Get rid of this one. Don't be a lovefool. You deserve better than this.
Algermas Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 Hahaha you gave her money after she left you for another guy? How goddamn *****whipped can one be?
Author alonelyfigure Posted June 25, 2012 Author Posted June 25, 2012 Hahaha you gave her money after she left you for another guy? How goddamn *****whipped can one be? If you had read my posts, you would have seen that it was due to a legally binding contract that we had drawn up before we moved in together. You actually think, after what she had done, that I would have paid for it if I didn't have to? I even asked the solicitor to 'lose' the contract!
daphne Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 She wants a reaction out of you. People that lack character do all sorts of weird, shady things to lash out when they're the ones that actually created drama. I think you should be seriously celebrating. Like another poster said, you found out before you got married and you dodged a big, fat bullet.
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