After 4 years of relationship she tells me we are not meant for each other .

[Harsh]

I met her when I was in 11 grade . I changed my college and we both were in same class . After a year or so , we both fell in love with each other and every thing was going well . now after 12 grade she went to a different college and I was in a different place we were 2000 km apart , but long distance was working well for us . but suddenly she started developing hatred for me . Actually there were certain things which were wrong and I stopped her from doing that . She was annoyed and every time when I give her my opinion about her college issues

she gets mad at me . there was a time after 2 year of relationship , I was so frustrated that I developed suicidal tendencies . And when all limits were crossed I ate poison , but I survived . I was in hospital for a week . I never told her I did this . after this though I feel I did a mistake , i was still in love with her

and for next two years things were normal we use to have normal fights and everything . meanwhile I made many trips to her place and we use to meet . but now all of a sudden she started ignoring me , and stopped taking to me . And one day she told me we are not meant for each . I begged to her for 3 months to get back as I am nothing without her but she was gone . I recently made a trip to her place she gave me an hour time and told me I am sorry , Please dont text me or call me up ever again if I am interested I will . I feel like she is my life and I am nothing without her . Last Night I came back from her place and now I am not able to do anything , I want to die but I have my parents and responsibilities towards them . I want to earns enough money asap and give it to my parents so that they can live their life and then I want to die ... From childhood I was deprived of good things ,there are many incidents in my life where I didn't get what is mine . and to overcome suicidal tendencies I even tried Art of living and many other things but nothing is working for me ... Please help me ...

[BB7]

You are not emotionally stable enough for a relationship right now and you need to seek help as soon as you can. Go speak to someone tomorrow.

 

I'm sorry I can't give you more advice but I'm affraid to touch this one to be honest.

[Radu]

She has GIGS, and you need some form of mental stability.

 

Look up the 180 and implement it, to get you through all of this.

 

I don't know if this makes you feel any better, but your description of that girl is full of red flags.

She sounds like a taker, not a giver.

Deffinitely not someone who you want to spend your life with.

 

Btw, the worst nightmare for a parent is for their child to die before they do ... if you truly love them, you will not do this.

[Ruby65]

Yes, please get some help today, Harsh! It's important that you speak with someone who's qualified to assess your situation and get you the right kind of help.

 

Right now the important thing is to take care of YOU -- you can deal with relationship issues later. There's all kinds of therapies and medications that can help you feel better.... there's no need to be in so much pain.

 

You're not alone! Please keep us updated and let us know how you're doing today!

[biogirl05]

Something kindof similar happened to me, I was in a 4year relationship and about the 3-year mark i wanted to die (was in college as well). I never made an attempt and I realize the difference between thoughts and actually trying it is huge, but I wanted to share with you what helped me get back up on top.

 

I have had depression for a long time, probably since elementary school. But during that relationship it hit me the worst. There were a lot of factors in my depression but I've realized since then that my toxic relationship with my bf was the thing that was putting me over the edge. I worshipped the ground he walked on but he would mess with my head and I didn't even realize it. He could tell me black was white and I would doubt my own knowledge until I was convinced he was right. He was a manipulator, and I was naiive.

 

I went to the school counselor and started receiving weekly therapy sessions. It was incredibly hard to talk to them at first, and even though it helped a little I was still very depressed. When I hit rock bottom I was sleeping 17 hours every day, felt so heavy like I couldn't move, and I was crying at everything. I felt completely hopeless, and I couldn't imagine feeling any other way and I just wanted it to end.

 

That's when my therapist became more insistent that I start medication, and I never listened before because I hated the thought of that, but I needed to just do something to make it all stop so I said yes. It took a while for it to work and to get the dosage right, but it took the edge off. It lifted me up just enough so that I could help myself a little better, where before I had so little motivation. I'd say on a scale of 1-10, 0 being the lowest ever, therapy helped me to 1 and meds helped me to 2. Then after they built up in my system, therapy + meds brought me to 4.

 

After about a year of therapy my relationship ended, and I cried all the time. During class, at home, I beat up my steering wheel in the car. I couldn't believe that it was over and it hurt like hell. But after that, things started getting better. I saw through clearer eyes and when I looked at him, I could see the things he was doing to me and that it was wrong.

 

A new relationship with someone more supportive and working with my therapist (I was in therapy and on meds for three years) helped me even more. I wasn't out of the woods yet, and it took me realizing I was hurting the people around me because it hurt them to see me hopeless, when I realized that, I tried harder to get better because I was doing it for them and not for me.

 

The point of all this that I want to get across to you is that recovery is a long hard road, but it has an end. It took me five years to get from rock bottom to a point where now I don't see myself ever getting depressed in that way again because I have so many tools to help me. (when i say tools I mean that when I was depressed I had a lot of unhealthy thought patterns but I've worked to change those patterns, and now I have more mental strength. And I always have my CBT workbook with me if I need any new tips and tricks. And I know know how to find a therapist if I need one)

 

I digressed again, sorry. The point is it took five years but what's five years in comparison with the rest of your life? It's really hard, but it's all worth it in the end. There are two ways to make how you're feeling stop. You've tried one of them, but that way leads to also hurting your family and do you want them to feel the way you are feeling now? Don't put them through that. Seek help, ask your family for help, ask all your friends, get them all on your side and seek help for yourself and do it for those that love you.

 

There's a group of people that you should meet; they are called the DBSF forums ( depression and bipolar support forums). They are really great online buddies

 

Registration Form - DBSF

 

also check out

Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance: Improving the Lives of People Living with Mood Disorders

 

they have a lot of free support groups across the country, and some good tools on their webpage.

Edited June 24, 2012 by biogirl05

[Radu]

biogirl, thanks for an awesome post. In my searches on the Internet, i never found that forum but i'll get on it asap.

 

I was in a serious depression for almost 7yrs.

I also slept like crazy, i think more than you or just spent a ton of time playing videogames.

I became a complete underachiever, all my good habits went out the window, and towards the end i wasn't even able to concentrate for even 10min on a task.

Because of the high rate of failure concerning everything i attempted i had no confidence that i could achieve something, so i was afraid of even trying.

 

I'm in my 2nd yr since i started trying to change myself, no doctor or meds so far.

I live in a country which doesn't have any good support system for this sort of thing and it is still somewhat shamefull to go to a mental health specialist so it's all self-help stuff so far.

The changes are amazing so far, and the nice thing is that once you start doing these things, they get easier and easier and easier.

You can even take pride in the label of 'late-bloomer'.

[biogirl05]

It's a new forum. When DBSA had to close theirs, the members decided they all wanted to stick together and created a new one. They are a very special and supportive group of people.

 

I can understand about the concentration, whenever I tried to read my eyes would just slip off the page.

 

If you are going self-help there's a book I recommend, it's the Cognitive Behavioral Workbook for Depression by Knaus. It's just a big book of exercises that help with depressive thoughts.

[Chi townD]

No girl is worth hurting yourself over. Not one of them. Thingt is, this girl is holding you back to find true happiness in life. You don't see that now. But, one day you will.

 

She made a choice to leave, then that's her choice. You didn't agree to it. But, you need to respect her wishes TOTALLY. No emails, phonecalls or texts. If she sends one to you, you ignore it. Start living your life for you. There's a great big world out there and tons of really interesting people in it. Time to walk out the door and see what's out there!

[Harsh]

It's a new forum. When DBSA had to close theirs, the members decided they all wanted to stick together and created a new one. They are a very special and supportive group of people.

 

I can understand about the concentration, whenever I tried to read my eyes would just slip off the page.

 

If you are going self-help there's a book I recommend, it's the Cognitive Behavioral Workbook for Depression by Knaus. It's just a big book of exercises that help with depressive thoughts.

 

Thanks for the support . But I feel helpless now , am lost . Just want to rest in peace .

[Harsh]

I am addicted to her . today I contacted her again , A guy proposed her on facebook wall , she was talking to him for a month and he did so . this was not my problem but the problem is She asked me not to put anything her my wall She keep him texting all day and night and when I was with her she didnt get time to reply to any of messages .

what should I do now . I cant stay without her . Please help .... I am dying

[CaliBabe]

You need some serious help. More help than we can give to you on a forum. You are not emotionally healthy enough to be in a successful relationship. You need to seek professional help as to why you are so emotionally dependent on someone else. You are not dying so please go help yourself.

 

I wish you luck, but seriously, get professional help.

[Chi townD]

Yep! Cali is right. Dude, you need profession help and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. Go see your Doctor ASAP.