jayy23 Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 so its been just over 3months since my ex of 4years finished with me and i havent seen her in that time i have spoken to her on the phone a few times tho but i really want to see her. to say i miss her would be an understatement. i have askd her if she would mind if we met up but she doesnt think its a good idea and wants time away from me so she can move on and have fun. nights are the worst sitin on my own just thinkin thinkin thinkin and even tonight its the weekend so i know most likely she will be out with her freinds and it really hurts to think that she could end up getting with some random guy i hate thinking about that. right now im thinking about calling her but deep down i know that would be the wrong thing to do but i just want to talk to her.
MooBear Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 Seeing her will set you right back and it will hurt so much more. You think about how good it will be to see her and just spend and time together but in reality, she will probably be standoffish with you, it would be really awkward and you would feel worse. It sounds like you've been doing well though! Sitting at home at night though will be the killer - you need to do something. Even if it's going for a walk, catching up with a friend, going for a long drive. Keeping busy is the key to success. Keep hanging in there
Author jayy23 Posted June 24, 2012 Author Posted June 24, 2012 Seeing her will set you right back and it will hurt so much more. You think about how good it will be to see her and just spend and time together but in reality, she will probably be standoffish with you, it would be really awkward and you would feel worse. It sounds like you've been doing well though! Sitting at home at night though will be the killer - you need to do something. Even if it's going for a walk, catching up with a friend, going for a long drive. Keeping busy is the key to success. Keep hanging in there yeh nights are the worst i do go out but even when im just lying in bed tryin to sleep all im thinking about is her it keeps me up at night. even just now all im thinking about is what is she doing tonight is she out drinking with her freinds is she goina end end up with some random guy??? its doin my head in thats why i wana call her to find out wat shes doin to put my mind at rest or make it worse but i know it would be stupid to call her.
MooBear Posted June 24, 2012 Posted June 24, 2012 Yeah trying to sleep is hard. I started sleeping in front of the tv so I wouldn't think. If you like to read that can be good for distracting and help put you to sleep. If she IS out hooking up with a random guy, then more fool her. She had a great guy but not anymore! And more than likely she is just out drinking with her girlfriends and bagging out men Keep up the awesome effort. It's definitely not an easy journey but totally worth it!!!
Author jayy23 Posted June 24, 2012 Author Posted June 24, 2012 Yeah trying to sleep is hard. I started sleeping in front of the tv so I wouldn't think. If you like to read that can be good for distracting and help put you to sleep. If she IS out hooking up with a random guy, then more fool her. She had a great guy but not anymore! And more than likely she is just out drinking with her girlfriends and bagging out men Keep up the awesome effort. It's definitely not an easy journey but totally worth it!!! thanks. in an ideal world she would come runing back to me lol but it dont look like thats goina happen so i dont have any other choice but to get over her. what do you meen bagging out men?? im from scotland btw so iv never heard that term.
MooBear Posted June 24, 2012 Posted June 24, 2012 The girls sit around drinking and complaining about guys they know
Author jayy23 Posted June 24, 2012 Author Posted June 24, 2012 The girls sit around drinking and complaining about guys they know awryt klkl yeh that wouldnt suprise me
Author jayy23 Posted June 24, 2012 Author Posted June 24, 2012 just to add she has been saying to me that she will meet up with me in a cpl of months after she has had time to sort her head out and move on i dont really know wat to think about that but i feel like im just siting here waiting to see her.
MayleneHallelujah09 Posted June 24, 2012 Posted June 24, 2012 It will be hard, but try not to contact her at all for a while. You both need enough time to heal before any kind of relationship, even platonic can begin. She said herself that she needs space and time to move on so please don't push her. It's equally as important for you to make the most of this time as well. Try to get back into the things you used to do before you started dating her. If there are things you were once passionate about that you put on the back burner during the relationship, then try to pick those hobbies up again. Try to better yourself a little bit each day while also rediscovering who you used to be. Find a couple people to talk to, whether they are friends, family members, a therapist, or even people on forums like this one. Everyone needs somebody sometimes. It's good to talk about everything and get it all out. Just be patient and try to focus on yourself. The future is uncertain. Anything could happen, but no matter what happens, you NEED to heal completely before you can have a healthy romantic relationship with someone. When the time does come, remember what you learned from this relationship and put those lessons to good use. Breakups are a very unfortunate part of life, but we all go through them. That's just a part of growing and learning about who we really are and what we really want out of life. If you try to stay on the bright side, this will make you a better, more mature, and especially stronger person in the end, instead of a broken and damaged person. Please have faith or at least TRY YOUR BEST. Best wishes.
Author jayy23 Posted June 24, 2012 Author Posted June 24, 2012 It will be hard, but try not to contact her at all for a while. You both need enough time to heal before any kind of relationship, even platonic can begin. She said herself that she needs space and time to move on so please don't push her. It's equally as important for you to make the most of this time as well. Try to get back into the things you used to do before you started dating her. If there are things you were once passionate about that you put on the back burner during the relationship, then try to pick those hobbies up again. Try to better yourself a little bit each day while also rediscovering who you used to be. Find a couple people to talk to, whether they are friends, family members, a therapist, or even people on forums like this one. Everyone needs somebody sometimes. It's good to talk about everything and get it all out. Just be patient and try to focus on yourself. The future is uncertain. Anything could happen, but no matter what happens, you NEED to heal completely before you can have a healthy romantic relationship with someone. When the time does come, remember what you learned from this relationship and put those lessons to good use. Breakups are a very unfortunate part of life, but we all go through them. That's just a part of growing and learning about who we really are and what we really want out of life. If you try to stay on the bright side, this will make you a better, more mature, and especially stronger person in the end, instead of a broken and damaged person. Please have faith or at least TRY YOUR BEST. Best wishes. im trying my best not to contact her i have sliped up a few times tho its just hard thinking about what she is doing all the time i get paranoid and allways think that she will be with some other guy and i cant understand what someone else could give her i cant? i dont want her to just forget me. im trying to focus on myself and getting back into things i did befour things that i had to stop for a while because i wasnt well for over a year. im a chef and really want to get back to doing that so im goina make that happen soon the only thing with that is that the place i wana go work for is the place that me and my ex met each other and thr is alot of old memorys thr so im not sure if its a good idea to back thr but i really wana work for that company again cause thr the best in scotland and i have worked for them a few times but i know as soon as i walk in all im goina see is her everywr we even had our first kiss thr. i feel so strongly about her and know that she is everything that i want so its really hard to accept that im not what she wants after over 4years together.
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