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So, @ my girlfriend's urging, I'm going to post this to all the single guys out there

Meeks7

By Meeks7
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Meeks7 Established Member

Meeks7

Posted
Posted (edited)

My GF Beth insisted I share my story with those who may find themselves in a similar boat as to where I was circa 2008. With all the talk on Loveshack about having/developing quality character traits such as:

 

 

-Listening Skills

-Encouraging Others

-Selfless (thinking of others before yourself)

-Showing Empathy

-Helping Out Others

-Sacrifice (of time and comfort)

-Positive Attitude (such a BIG one!! Girls DIG positivity)

-Sense of Humor

-Being Genuine and Authentic

-Sharing With Others

-Ability to Be Vulnerable

-Leading By Word and Deed (girls love a confident man who can lead)

-Teachable Spirit/Openness/Not Being Narrow-Minded

-Quality Communication

-Self-Motivated/Proactive

 

 

... that Beth and I figured it might be helpful for me to share my story here on LoveShack. My story taught me to see how the best things in life take preparation, a step out of our comfort zones and a whole lotta faith.

 

---

 

All my life I have been what you could call a "loveable loser." I used to be extremely girl crazy. I developed crushes on girls way too easily, and my life was all centered around wanting to get a girlfriend.

 

My life changed when I changed my #1 focus in life. I used to be so scared of getting out of my boat (i.e. comfort zone). I had no real life interests except girls. I was just extremely one dimensional. One day, I decided to commit myself to my first big real life commitment: a summer mission trip to Kenya, Africa. It was a crazy experience that changed my life. It marked the first time I left the USA, and for the first time in my life, I really stepped out of my boat.

 

And as you step out of your boat, you will find... sometimes, you will walk on water!

 

In Kenya we helped out in the slums and spent the majority of our time with orphans. Being in that country changed my perspective on life, and made me realize there was more to life than just getting a girlfriend. I became more well-rounded as a result, and my attractiveness went up.

 

Eventually, I met Beth through a mutual friend. It wasn't luck though. All these prior years was simply a TRAINING ground. Instead of complaining about my lot/luck in life, I chose to make my life as productive as I could. I went to Kenya for a summer mission trip. I didn't know ANYONE on the trip going in. I was scared to death, but I was convinced it was something I had to do. And it completely changed my life.

 

So, whatever your boat (of comfort) might be, it's time to step out of the boat. You will find that you only grow the most when you step out in faith. Sitting and clinging to the boat is a losing proposition. Only when you step out of your boat is when REAL change happens.

 

On the last day in Kenya, my teammates all wrote notes of appreciation for me. Check it out below

 

http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o139/SFCGamer/Ken.png

 

^ From a guy teammate

 

http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o139/SFCGamer/Ken1.png

 

^ From guy teammate #2

 

http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o139/SFCGamer/Ken2.png

http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o139/SFCGamer/Ken2A.png

 

^ From guy teammate #3 (two part picture)

 

http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o139/SFCGamer/Ken3.png

 

^ From guy teammate #4 (he was the male leader of the trip)

 

http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o139/SFCGamer/Ken4.png

 

^ From girl teammate #1

 

http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o139/SFCGamer/Ken5.png

 

^ from girl teammate #2

 

http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o139/SFCGamer/Ken6.png

 

^ From girl teammate #3 (she was the female leader of the trip)

 

http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o139/SFCGamer/Ken7.png

http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o139/SFCGamer/Ken7A.png

 

^ From girl teammate #4 (two part picture; she's the brother of guy teammate #2)

 

http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o139/SFCGamer/Ken9.jpg

http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o139/SFCGamer/Ken9A.jpg

 

^ From girl teammate #5 (two part picture, she was a CUTIE) :)

 

http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o139/SFCGamer/Ken8.png

http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o139/SFCGamer/Ken8A.png

 

^ From girl teammate #6 (two part picture, MAJOR CUTIE) :)

 

This life changing journey reinforced two things for me:

 

1. Life is not meant to be lived all by your lonesome

 

and

 

2. Life is greatest when you finally cut the excuses and simply step out of the boat, as scary as it is. Because it's only when you step out of the boat that you can then walk on water

 

Then I met Beth. I was already happy and living my own life before we became a couple. I no longer was looking for a girl to "complete me." Funny enough, when I did that, Beth came along and things just took off naturally from there. I also didn't post my play by plays on message boards asking what should I do here or there.

 

When it's meant to be, instincts just take over. But you really have to step out of your boat first before getting to where you desire to be. Yes, you may sink from time to time, but you'll also find, you'll walk on water, too! One thing's for sure: by remaining seated in your boat, you're never going to walk on water.

 

The greatest failure isn't "lack of success." The greatest failure is simply not trying at all. Beth and I hope this post encourages at least one person here on LoveShack!

 

Happy Saturday night, everyone :)

Edited by Meeks7
  • Like 11
ThaWholigan Established Member

ThaWholigan

Posted
Posted

Fantastic stuff :D

 

I am embarking on my ultimate step fully outside my comfort zone myself, so this is good to see more success stories. It's important to live your life first, and enjoy it. Make the most of it, mentally, spiritually, physically (that exercise :D), financially, and intellectually. This is the key to my progression and will ultimately lead to my success.

 

Again, great post, and congratulations on how well things are going. I think going to Kenya is a massive step and one that I'm sure served you well.

utterer of lies Established Member

utterer of lies

Posted
Posted (edited)
-Listening Skills

-Encouraging Others

-Selfless (thinking of others before yourself)

-Showing Empathy

-Helping Out Others

-Sacrifice (of time and comfort)

-Being Genuine and Authentic

-Sharing With Others

-Ability to Be Vulnerable

-Teachable Spirit/Openness/Not Being Narrow-Minded

-Quality Communication

 

Haha. No. These are all optional, or even harmful.

 

Genuine and authentic depends on your personality. Might be a big pro or a big negative.

 

But stuff like...teachable spirit, ability to be vulnerable or showing empathy - well, that's going to work if you are the submissive partner in a relationship with a religious vegan feminist or something, otherwise it's probably a bad idea.

 

-Positive Attitude (such a BIG one!! Girls DIG positivity)

-Sense of Humor

-Self-Motivated/Proactive

 

Nice to have.

 

-Leading By Word and Deed (girls love a confident man who can lead)

 

That's the actually important one.

Edited by utterer of lies
  • Like 1
somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

Posted
Posted

So you're saying that if none of that happened, one of your friends wouldn't have introduced you to Beth?

manup Established Member

manup

Posted
Posted
My GF Beth insisted I share my story with those who may find themselves in a similar boat as to where I was circa 2008. With all the talk on Loveshack about having/developing quality character traits such as:

 

 

-Listening Skills

-Encouraging Others

-Selfless (thinking of others before yourself)

-Showing Empathy

-Helping Out Others

-Sacrifice (of time and comfort)

-Positive Attitude (such a BIG one!! Girls DIG positivity)

-Sense of Humor

-Being Genuine and Authentic

-Sharing With Others

-Ability to Be Vulnerable

-Leading By Word and Deed (girls love a confident man who can lead)

-Teachable Spirit/Openness/Not Being Narrow-Minded

-Quality Communication

-Self-Motivated/Proactive

 

 

... that Beth and I figured it might be helpful for me to share my story here on LoveShack. My story taught me to see how the best things in life take preparation, a step out of our comfort zones and a whole lotta faith.

 

---

 

All my life I have been what you could call a "loveable loser." I used to be extremely girl crazy. I developed crushes on girls way too easily, and my life was all centered around wanting to get a girlfriend.

 

My life changed when I changed my #1 focus in life. I used to be so scared of getting out of my boat (i.e. comfort zone). I had no real life interests except girls. I was just extremely one dimensional. One day, I decided to commit myself to my first big real life commitment: a summer mission trip to Kenya, Africa. It was a crazy experience that changed my life. It marked the first time I left the USA, and for the first time in my life, I really stepped out of my boat.

 

And as you step out of your boat, you will find... sometimes, you will walk on water!

 

In Kenya we helped out in the slums and spent the majority of our time with orphans. Being in that country changed my perspective on life, and made me realize there was more to life than just getting a girlfriend. I became more well-rounded as a result, and my attractiveness went up.

 

Eventually, I met Beth through a mutual friend. It wasn't luck though. All these prior years was simply a TRAINING ground. Instead of complaining about my lot/luck in life, I chose to make my life as productive as I could. I went to Kenya for a summer mission trip. I didn't know ANYONE on the trip going in. I was scared to death, but I was convinced it was something I had to do. And it completely changed my life.

 

So, whatever your boat (of comfort) might be, it's time to step out of the boat. You will find that you only grow the most when you step out in faith. Sitting and clinging to the boat is a losing proposition. Only when you step out of your boat is when REAL change happens.

 

On the last day in Kenya, my teammates all wrote notes of appreciation for me. Check it out below

 

http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o139/SFCGamer/Ken.png

 

^ From a guy teammate

 

http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o139/SFCGamer/Ken1.png

 

^ From guy teammate #2

 

http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o139/SFCGamer/Ken2.png

http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o139/SFCGamer/Ken2A.png

 

^ From guy teammate #3 (two part picture)

 

http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o139/SFCGamer/Ken3.png

 

^ From guy teammate #4 (he was the male leader of the trip)

 

http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o139/SFCGamer/Ken4.png

 

^ From girl teammate #1

 

http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o139/SFCGamer/Ken5.png

 

^ from girl teammate #2

 

http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o139/SFCGamer/Ken6.png

 

^ From girl teammate #3 (she was the female leader of the trip)

 

http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o139/SFCGamer/Ken7.png

http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o139/SFCGamer/Ken7A.png

 

^ From girl teammate #4 (two part picture; she's the brother of guy teammate #2)

 

http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o139/SFCGamer/Ken9.jpg

http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o139/SFCGamer/Ken9A.jpg

 

^ From girl teammate #5 (two part picture, she was a CUTIE) :)

 

http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o139/SFCGamer/Ken8.png

http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o139/SFCGamer/Ken8A.png

 

^ From girl teammate #6 (two part picture, MAJOR CUTIE) :)

 

This life changing journey reinforced two things for me:

 

1. Life is not meant to be lived all by your lonesome

 

and

 

2. Life is greatest when you finally cut the excuses and simply step out of the boat, as scary as it is. Because it's only when you step out of the boat that you can then walk on water

 

Then I met Beth. I was already happy and living my own life before we became a couple. I no longer was looking for a girl to "complete me." Funny enough, when I did that, Beth came along and things just took off naturally from there. I also didn't post my play by plays on message boards asking what should I do here or there.

 

When it's meant to be, instincts just take over. But you really have to step out of your boat first before getting to where you desire to be. Yes, you may sink from time to time, but you'll also find, you'll walk on water, too! One thing's for sure: by remaining seated in your boat, you're never going to walk on water.

 

The greatest failure isn't "lack of success." The greatest failure is simply not trying at all. Beth and I hope this post encourages at least one person here on LoveShack!

 

Happy Saturday night, everyone :)

 

I'm happy for you, but honestly dude.

utterer of lies Established Member

utterer of lies

Posted
Posted

I just noticed that some are contradictions.

 

What should a cynic egoist do? Be authentic or selfless? Be positive or honest?

 

;)

  • Like 1
  • Author
Meeks7 Established Member

Meeks7

Posted
  • Author
Posted
So you're saying that if none of that happened, one of your friends wouldn't have introduced you to Beth?

 

Well, considering the male leader of the trip was the one who introduced me to Beth...

 

If I never went to Kenya, I never would have met Roger.

 

If I never met Roger, I never would have met Beth.

 

But I didn't go to Kenya to get a girlfriend. I went to stretch myself, and to step out of my comfort zone and to help the orphans of Kenya. I was blessed by the experience and it changed my life. Meeting Beth through it (eventually) was just one of the perks.

 

The main message is.... don't rot away alone in your apartment. Go out, meet positive people, and do good things to make the world a better place. The rest tends to take care of itself over time as you put yourself in position to walk on water.

  • Like 3
TheFinalWord Established Member

TheFinalWord

Posted
Posted
My GF Beth insisted I share my story with those who may find themselves in a similar boat as to where I was circa 2008. With all the talk on Loveshack about having/developing quality character traits such as:

 

 

-Listening Skills

-Encouraging Others

-Selfless (thinking of others before yourself)

-Showing Empathy

-Helping Out Others

-Sacrifice (of time and comfort)

-Positive Attitude (such a BIG one!! Girls DIG positivity)

-Sense of Humor

-Being Genuine and Authentic

-Sharing With Others

-Ability to Be Vulnerable

-Leading By Word and Deed (girls love a confident man who can lead)

-Teachable Spirit/Openness/Not Being Narrow-Minded

-Quality Communication

-Self-Motivated/Proactive

 

 

... that Beth and I figured it might be helpful for me to share my story here on LoveShack. My story taught me to see how the best things in life take preparation, a step out of our comfort zones and a whole lotta faith.

 

---

 

All my life I have been what you could call a "loveable loser." I used to be extremely girl crazy. I developed crushes on girls way too easily, and my life was all centered around wanting to get a girlfriend.

 

My life changed when I changed my #1 focus in life. I used to be so scared of getting out of my boat (i.e. comfort zone). I had no real life interests except girls. I was just extremely one dimensional. One day, I decided to commit myself to my first big real life commitment: a summer mission trip to Kenya, Africa. It was a crazy experience that changed my life. It marked the first time I left the USA, and for the first time in my life, I really stepped out of my boat.

 

And as you step out of your boat, you will find... sometimes, you will walk on water!

 

In Kenya we helped out in the slums and spent the majority of our time with orphans. Being in that country changed my perspective on life, and made me realize there was more to life than just getting a girlfriend. I became more well-rounded as a result, and my attractiveness went up.

 

Eventually, I met Beth through a mutual friend. It wasn't luck though. All these prior years was simply a TRAINING ground. Instead of complaining about my lot/luck in life, I chose to make my life as productive as I could. I went to Kenya for a summer mission trip. I didn't know ANYONE on the trip going in. I was scared to death, but I was convinced it was something I had to do. And it completely changed my life.

 

So, whatever your boat (of comfort) might be, it's time to step out of the boat. You will find that you only grow the most when you step out in faith. Sitting and clinging to the boat is a losing proposition. Only when you step out of your boat is when REAL change happens.

 

On the last day in Kenya, my teammates all wrote notes of appreciation for me. Check it out below

 

http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o139/SFCGamer/Ken.png

 

^ From a guy teammate

 

http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o139/SFCGamer/Ken1.png

 

^ From guy teammate #2

 

http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o139/SFCGamer/Ken2.png

http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o139/SFCGamer/Ken2A.png

 

^ From guy teammate #3 (two part picture)

 

http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o139/SFCGamer/Ken3.png

 

^ From guy teammate #4 (he was the male leader of the trip)

 

http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o139/SFCGamer/Ken4.png

 

^ From girl teammate #1

 

http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o139/SFCGamer/Ken5.png

 

^ from girl teammate #2

 

http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o139/SFCGamer/Ken6.png

 

^ From girl teammate #3 (she was the female leader of the trip)

 

http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o139/SFCGamer/Ken7.png

http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o139/SFCGamer/Ken7A.png

 

^ From girl teammate #4 (two part picture; she's the brother of guy teammate #2)

 

http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o139/SFCGamer/Ken9.jpg

http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o139/SFCGamer/Ken9A.jpg

 

^ From girl teammate #5 (two part picture, she was a CUTIE) :)

 

http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o139/SFCGamer/Ken8.png

http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o139/SFCGamer/Ken8A.png

 

^ From girl teammate #6 (two part picture, MAJOR CUTIE) :)

 

This life changing journey reinforced two things for me:

 

1. Life is not meant to be lived all by your lonesome

 

and

 

2. Life is greatest when you finally cut the excuses and simply step out of the boat, as scary as it is. Because it's only when you step out of the boat that you can then walk on water

 

Then I met Beth. I was already happy and living my own life before we became a couple. I no longer was looking for a girl to "complete me." Funny enough, when I did that, Beth came along and things just took off naturally from there. I also didn't post my play by plays on message boards asking what should I do here or there.

 

When it's meant to be, instincts just take over. But you really have to step out of your boat first before getting to where you desire to be. Yes, you may sink from time to time, but you'll also find, you'll walk on water, too! One thing's for sure: by remaining seated in your boat, you're never going to walk on water.

 

The greatest failure isn't "lack of success." The greatest failure is simply not trying at all. Beth and I hope this post encourages at least one person here on LoveShack!

 

Happy Saturday night, everyone :)

 

Awesome man! I agree with you 100%.

somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

Posted
Posted
Well, considering the male leader of the trip was the one who introduced me to Beth...

 

If I never went to Kenya, I never would have met Roger.

 

If I never met Roger, I never would have met Beth.

So then it's just fate that it happened that way.

 

You did X and met Y. And luckily enough, Y knew Z.

 

Since it all came down to fate, there is no reason why you couldn't have met Y at a bowling league, or at work, etc.

 

I went to stretch myself, and to step out of my comfort zone and to help the orphans of Kenya. I was blessed by the experience and it changed my life.

Nothing wrong with that at all.

 

 

The main message is.... don't rot away alone in your apartment. Go out, meet positive people, and do good things to make the world a better place. The rest tends to take care of itself over time as you put yourself in position to walk on water.

Blasphemer

 

 

 

:p

olddirtyspatula Member

olddirtyspatula

Posted
Posted
One day, I decided to commit myself to my first big real life commitment: a summer mission trip to Kenya, Africa.

Oh, you don't mean Kenya, Ohio?

In Kenya we helped out in the slums and spent the majority of our time with orphans. Being in that country changed my perspective on life, and made me realize there was more to life than just getting a girlfriend. I became more well-rounded as a result, and my attractiveness went up.

I agree. Third world countries are such great tools for self improvement. Thank God we have so many of them, whatever else would we do to become more attractive without them?

 

AAAAHHHH I FIRST LOGGED ON HERE LAST WEEK TO WORK OUT INNER DEMONS AND I'M TURNING INTO SUCH AN *******! I JUST WANT TO MAKE FUN OF EVERYTHING!!!!! NEED.TO.STOP.LOGGING.ON.FOREVERZZZZZ

 

He's right though. Self reflection is great but can only get you to a certain point and then it becomes self absorption, and you need to look outside yourself. I think Victor Frankl said it better though:

 

"The more one forgets himself-- by giving himself to a cause to serve or to another person to love-- the more human he is and the more he actualizes himself. What is called self-actualization is not an attainable aim at all, for the simple reason that the more one would strive for it, the more he would miss it. In other words, self-actualization is possible only as a side-effect of self-transcendence."

Viktor E. Frankl

 

Bye guys. Thanks to everyone who commented on my initial post, even the people who said mean things. I needed to hear it. Ciao!

Green Light Established Member

Green Light

Posted
Posted

I'm a bit alarmed at how many posts, threads, and articles are written online daily trying to define masculinity and how this relates to interacting with women. This one says "be tough," that one says "be sensitive, " this one says "be positive," that one says "be dark." Everyone seems to be an expert. Yet I have never once seen an article or post written to women in the same tone. To write an article like this for women trying to help them be more feminine and thus more attractive to men would be considered a sexist travesty!

I'm sure that someone will come back at me as being a sexist for even questioning it! :rolleyes:

Not that there aren't messed up guys out there. There are. But perhaps some of this "bitterness" that we hear from some men here is caused by this constant need for people online to define masculinity and thus their lack thereof. It's like all of the sudden nobody knows what a man is. Or to get more philosophical about it, essence now precedes existence. In other words we are more worried about a man's checklist of qualities first rather than the fact that he exists at all. So I see a lot of guys online who don't even seem to think of themselves as men anymore. Just walking checklists of qualities that *may* appeal to women.

Don't know if this all makes sense...

  • Like 2
Titanwolf Established Member

Titanwolf

Posted
Posted

^^ Very well said. Men trying to meet the quota, lose their sense of self. They're all too happy to repress their defining qualities and follow a standard set by society and their beliefs of what makes a man attractive. Why is it so wrong to be yourself these days?

ThaWholigan Established Member

ThaWholigan

Posted
Posted
^^ Very well said. Men trying to meet the quota, lose their sense of self. They're all too happy to repress their defining qualities and follow a standard set by society and their beliefs of what makes a man attractive. Why is it so wrong to be yourself these days?

It's not wrong to be yourself, but you still have to augment yourself in order to supplement and strengthen your defining qualities. Being bitter is not going to help.

  • Like 1
  • Author
Meeks7 Established Member

Meeks7

Posted
  • Author
Posted
So then it's just fate that it happened that way.

 

You did X and met Y. And luckily enough, Y knew Z.

 

Since it all came down to fate, there is no reason why you couldn't have met Y at a bowling league, or at work, etc.

 

 

Themes are:

 

-being proactive

-stepping out of comfort zone

-putting myself out there

-focusing on helping out others

 

Good luck SomeDude on your girlfriend quest....

  • Like 2
Green Light Established Member

Green Light

Posted
Posted
^^ Very well said. Men trying to meet the quota, lose their sense of self. They're all too happy to repress their defining qualities and follow a standard set by society and their beliefs of what makes a man attractive. Why is it so wrong to be yourself these days?

 

 

The message for men these days seems to be "it's good to be yourself as long as 'yourself' contains qualities x, y and z, otherwise you need to change."

But what really concerns me is how the online world seems to be scrambling to define what masculinity is and making it into this artificially extreme stereotype of bravado and sensitivity . It's like nobody really knows what a man is anymore. Really, being a man is simply being born with more testosterone than estrogen and that's about it. Everything past that is subjective.

SunandMoon Established Member

SunandMoon

Posted
Posted

Guess I need to find my metaphorical 'Trip to Kenya', then. :laugh:

 

A somewhat inspiring tale there. Honestly, happy for you Meeks7.

ThaWholigan Established Member

ThaWholigan

Posted
Posted
The message for men these days seems to be "it's good to be yourself as long as 'yourself' contains qualities x, y and z, otherwise you need to change."

But what really concerns me is how the online world seems to be scrambling to define what masculinity is and making it into this artificially extreme stereotype of bravado and sensitivity . It's like nobody really knows what a man is anymore. Really, being a man is simply being born with more testosterone than estrogen and that's about it. Everything past that is subjective.

This wouldn't be an issue if there weren't so many of us on the internet complaining about how women don't want us. That's why this is talked about....

  • Author
Meeks7 Established Member

Meeks7

Posted
  • Author
Posted
So then it's just fate that it happened that way.

 

You did X and met Y. And luckily enough, Y knew Z.

 

Since it all came down to fate, there is no reason why you couldn't have met Y at a bowling league, or at work, etc.

 

 

From Beth to SomeDude:

 

It would be foolish for anyone to merely assume the quoted portion above, and discount what an amazing impact doing something beyond your own capability can uplift your overall character, color in perspective for your life and generally make you a stronger, better person for having gone through such an experience.

 

It's not just about being lucky enough to be at the right PHYSICAL place to meet someone. It's also about being at the right place mentally and emotionally and in life.

 

Having an experience like my BF had has helped to shape him into the amazing man he is today, and that was for his and MY benefit. He is definitely not flawless, but he is faithful and I admire him for his character and the way he makes me feel.

 

So before you try to downplay his experience, take a long look in the mirror and ask yourself, "WHY NOT ME, TOO?"

 

After asking yourself that, I'd ask you to take a piece of paper out, and write down everything you did in the past month. If that list consists of merely the following:

 

-Watched movies at home alone

-Played games at home alone

-Surfed the net

-Went to work

-Went to class

-Looked at porn

-Didn't call any friends

-Didn't see any friends

-Surfed the net some more

 

 

If so, we can see why EVEN IF you were to meet a girl the BEST version of you could be compatible with (i.e. right PHYSICAL place), it wouldn't matter at all since you would be at the wrong place emotionally, mentally and in life (because the current you is far from the BEST version of you). My BF sought out to become the BEST version of himself, and the Kenya experience helped him get closer to that place because it really pushed him and he learned a lot more about life, others and himself.

 

Don't discount the amazing real life experiences people have that help shape and grow them.

 

But of course, you want everything to be easy and handed to you on a silver platter. Good luck with that plan...

Feelsgoodman Established Member

Feelsgoodman

Posted
Posted
Well, considering the male leader of the trip was the one who introduced me to Beth...

 

If I never went to Kenya, I never would have met Roger.

 

If I never met Roger, I never would have met Beth.

Consider this. Your trip to Kenya could have ended quite differently. You could have caught some tropical disease and died of fever. Or you could have been mugged and killed by local criminals. Life is unpredictable.

fortyninethousand322 Established Member

fortyninethousand322

Posted
Posted
Consider this. Your trip to Kenya could have ended quite differently. You could have caught some tropical disease and died of fever. Or you could have been mugged and killed by local criminals. Life is unpredictable.

 

I think this part was covered under "positive attitude". :laugh:

Els Established Member

Els

Posted
Posted
Consider this. Your trip to Kenya could have ended quite differently. You could have caught some tropical disease and died of fever. Or you could have been mugged and killed by local criminals. Life is unpredictable.

 

Yeah, and that hot girl you took home to have sex with could have turned out to be a murderer, or have HIV and it happened to get past the condom. A meteor could also hit your house or a car could hit you when you crossed the street to get to work.

 

Way to miss the point. :rolleyes:

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Feelsgoodman Established Member

Feelsgoodman

Posted
Posted
I think this part was covered under "positive attitude". :laugh:

But there was no section on risk-benefit analysis :laugh: In any event, he could have just as easily started a chain of events that would ultimately lead to meeting his fiance by going to party in Cancun or backpacking in Europe, as opposed to helping the poor in Africa.

Feelsgoodman Established Member

Feelsgoodman

Posted
Posted
Yeah, and that hot girl you took home to have sex with could have turned out to be a murderer, or have HIV and it happened to get past the condom. A meteor could also hit your house or a car could hit you when you crossed the street to get to work.

 

Way to miss the point. :rolleyes:

I think the chances of any of that happening would be a little lower than the chances of dying from disease or getting killed in Africa. Kenyan slums are not exactly a safe place, you know.

joystickd Established Member

joystickd

Posted
Posted
I think the chances of any of that happening would be a little lower than the chances of dying from disease or getting killed in Africa. Kenyan slums are not exactly a safe place, you know.

I think the overall he was trying to say he got out of his comfort zone to finally meet someone special.

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Feelsgoodman Established Member

Feelsgoodman

Posted
Posted
I think the overall he was trying to say he got out of his comfort zone to finally meet someone special.

I understand that and agree that stepping out of your comfort zone is a good thing. However, this whole thread sounds almost like a religious sermon. Walking on water?? :laugh:

 

Also, you don't need to do anything extreme to step outside your comfort zone. You just need to start meeting and interacting with new people. It's as simple as that.

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