Bob_Funk Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 I'd even be happy with an ugly girl, as long as she's height-weight proportionate. Here's my experience with different methods: Online dating - Get the odd reply from average girls, of which very few ever materialize. Go on maybe one date with an average girl every two months. Move in for a kiss at the end, only to be snubbed every time. Bars - All I see is social circles, full of mostly guys. No girls standing alone waiting to be opened like in the movies. They're either with their boyfriends or being chatted up. What am I supposed to do? Tap them on the shoulder and interrupt their conversation? Clubs - Similar to bars. Just a swarm of bodies (mostly guys). Blaring music that makes it impossible to converse. These places merely sell the illusion of sex, because I've never seen girls leave with random guys. During the day - Hardly anyone to approach. Receive an instant "get the **** away from me" look 70% of the time. The other 30% (usually foreign-born) may be nice, but the end result's the same: rejection. What else is there? 1
Algermas Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 I make a large amount of money, this puts absolutely any woman within my league without having to try. 1
ThaWholigan Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 Questions: 1) What is your social circle like, and where would you say your social circle ranks? 2) How would you describe the way you interact with people, both verbally and non-verbally? 3) How adept are you at reading people socially? 4) Regarding Algermas' post, what is your monetary situation saying?
jobaba Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 I'd even be happy with an ugly girl, as long as she's height-weight proportionate. Here's my experience with different methods: Online dating - Get the odd reply from average girls, of which very few ever materialize. Go on maybe one date with an average girl every two months. Move in for a kiss at the end, only to be snubbed every time. Bars - All I see is social circles, full of mostly guys. No girls standing alone waiting to be opened like in the movies. They're either with their boyfriends or being chatted up. What am I supposed to do? Tap them on the shoulder and interrupt their conversation? Clubs - Similar to bars. Just a swarm of bodies (mostly guys). Blaring music that makes it impossible to converse. These places merely sell the illusion of sex, because I've never seen girls leave with random guys. During the day - Hardly anyone to approach. Receive an instant "get the **** away from me" look 70% of the time. The other 30% (usually foreign-born) may be nice, but the end result's the same: rejection. What else is there? Your problem is you are playing the game ... not the woman. You expect that because a woman is a certain quality of looks, that you can get her. Similar to like if you have a certain GPA and SAT score, you'll get into a certain school. Except women don't work like that. Some very unattractive women are very shallow. All of the women I've managed to date are well above lookswise a few of the women who have flat out rejected me badly. Almost every one here would agree. And it's really just a coincidence. I don't go for looks. As long as you are not shooting way above your league, I'd say keep playing the numbers in terms of women you are attracted to. You'll hit one eventually. 4
grkBoy Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 What else is there? Join stuff and do things...not for the reason of meeting women, but just to expand your social circle. Most relationship people meet through friends and colleagues. If your social circle is nil, small, or full of people who seemingly know no one and do nothing, then you need to expand. MAKE FRIENDS. I know when you want a girlfriend, the "make friends" thing seems futile, but I again reiterate my own history. I meet people through others. Don't put so much effort/emphasis on finding someone. I'd just chat online in message boards in a calm, confident, rational, knowledgeable tone...and I'd end up weeks later in PM conversations with women, and even months to a year later them talking about coming to meet me in person, or likewise... ...and many were not talking of just making friends in those visits, but more sizing up if I was the right man. Be the best person you can. I grow tired of guys complaining about how women overlook them and such, but I come to find that they are overweight, out of shape, dress badly, have no social skills, and have few interests outside of video games and TV. Learn something, do something, improve yourself. Get in the gym, learn to dress better, learn better hygiene, etc. If who you are now isn't turning their attention to you, then become what they want in a man...and no, it's not some Jersey Shore wannabe. 1
Author Bob_Funk Posted June 23, 2012 Author Posted June 23, 2012 Questions: 1) What is your social circle like, and where would you say your social circle ranks? 2) How would you describe the way you interact with people, both verbally and non-verbally? 3) How adept are you at reading people socially? 4) Regarding Algermas' post, what is your monetary situation saying? 1) There are a few guys from work I go drinking with occasionally. But other than that, I don't really have a social circle. 2) I'm an introvert by nature, but I'm very good at faking extroversion. Never had any trouble making male friends, so I doubt social skills are a factor in my case. 3) Very adept. I'd say above average. 4) I'm not making bank, but I get by.
Author Bob_Funk Posted June 23, 2012 Author Posted June 23, 2012 (edited) Join stuff and do things...not for the reason of meeting women, but just to expand your social circle. Most relationship people meet through friends and colleagues. If your social circle is nil, small, or full of people who seemingly know no one and do nothing, then you need to expand. MAKE FRIENDS. I know when you want a girlfriend, the "make friends" thing seems futile, but I again reiterate my own history. I meet people through others. Don't put so much effort/emphasis on finding someone. I'd just chat online in message boards in a calm, confident, rational, knowledgeable tone...and I'd end up weeks later in PM conversations with women, and even months to a year later them talking about coming to meet me in person, or likewise... ...and many were not talking of just making friends in those visits, but more sizing up if I was the right man. Be the best person you can. I grow tired of guys complaining about how women overlook them and such, but I come to find that they are overweight, out of shape, dress badly, have no social skills, and have few interests outside of video games and TV. Learn something, do something, improve yourself. Get in the gym, learn to dress better, learn better hygiene, etc. If who you are now isn't turning their attention to you, then become what they want in a man...and no, it's not some Jersey Shore wannabe. I've already reached my genetic limit in terms of natural muscularity. Think Michael Phelps' physique. Short of injecting steroids, there's not much more I can do. Muscles are overrated anyway. And who doesn't practice good hygiene? Edited June 23, 2012 by Bob_Funk
USMCHokie Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 I've already reached my genetic limit in terms of natural muscularity. Think Michael Phelps' physique. Short of injecting steroids, there's not much more I can do. You must be jacked as hell if you honestly believe this... ...or laziness is a priority... And who doesn't practice good hygiene? You'd be sooo surprised... And there's basic hygiene, and then there's hygiene hygience... 1
ThaWholigan Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 1) There are a few guys from work I go drinking with occasionally. But other than that, I don't really have a social circle. Get one. You will meet girls much easier, and upon having a social circle, it makes you more attractive. People like popular people . 2) I'm an introvert by nature, but I'm very good at faking extroversion. Never had any trouble making male friends, so I doubt social skills are a factor in my case. Sure, I'm an introvert too. Now, social skills are one thing - advanced social skills is another thing. Some people are naturally socially gifted, others like me have to learn this stuff thoroughly. Now, you may think that your social skills aren't a factor, but it's possible that they may still be hindering you. Find out what you can about social skills, and also about body language and movement, non-verbal communication, and how you touch women etc. I have links if you want me to PM them to you and they have been helpful to me. 3) Very adept. I'd say above average. Could you elaborate?? 4) I'm not making bank, but I get by. For yourself, you might wanna look into how to make more money (investing and finance stuff).
Author Bob_Funk Posted June 23, 2012 Author Posted June 23, 2012 You must be jacked as hell if you honestly believe this... ...or laziness is a priority... You'd be sooo surprised... And there's basic hygiene, and then there's hygiene hygience... I've been lifting and dieting religiously for years. If having the body of an Olympic swimmer isn't good enough for chubby average girls who've never stepped foot in a gym, then I don't know what to say. Maybe I should resign myself to hookers. I know all about hygiene. It's not like I haven't already done everything in the book to maximize my attractiveness.
ThaWholigan Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 I've been lifting and dieting religiously for years. If having the body of an Olympic swimmer isn't good enough for chubby average girls who've never stepped foot in a gym, then I don't know what to say. Maybe I should resign myself to hookers. I know all about hygiene. It's not like I haven't already done everything in the book to maximize my attractiveness. Maybe you have physically, but mentally, psychologically, verbally?
grkBoy Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 I've already reached my genetic limit in terms of natural muscularity. Think Michael Phelps' physique. Short of injecting steroids, there's not much more I can do. Muscles are overrated anyway. That's a good thing. Now...do you dress to show off that body? Do you look amazing in a nice suit? Do you take chances and wear a suit when you go out? Even just the suit with no tie. Or do you do t-shirt and jeans, or khakis and polos? And who doesn't practice good hygiene? I'm more talking on a "metro" level. You don't have to get facials and mani/pedi...but loads of guys simply shower with bar soap, comb their hair, and that's it. Try a good body wash with a nice smell that isn't overpowering. Try using a good shampoo with a conditioner, and learn to use them effectively. When you get your hair cut/styled, ask the stylist to show you how to maintain said style. That's what I mean. Women do notice the guys who put the extra effort in their appearance. You're already there with the body. 1
oaks Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 1) There are a few guys from work I go drinking with occasionally. But other than that, I don't really have a social circle. Most of the people I've dated have asked me, fairly early on, about my friends. Who are they? How often do I see them? What do I do with them? How long have I known them? etc. I think, in general, that some of them were testing to see that I do actually have friends because this is something important to have. As for your original point, I'm not a strong believer in leagues. There are women I find attractive and women I don't, and there are women who find me attractive and women who don't. The obvious intersection of women I find attractive and women who find me attractive are the ones 'in my league'. The obvious conclusion is that you can't tell if someone is in your league just by looking at her (and making a judgement about her appearance) - because it just doesn't work that way. 1
2.50 a gallon Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 Can U Dance? Learn! Can you cook something beyond hamburger helper? Learn! Can you talk to a woman you have just met like she is just another person, without putting the moves on her. Practise by talking to the check out clerks at the grorcery store, the bakery, McDonalds, Wally world. If she is attractive to you, make sure you get in her line. Then just be friendly and and positive. Example: After the "did you find everything you need?" Quite often you will get "So how's your day so far?" My favorite line, and it has worked for decades. I look her in the eye reply "Hey, I woke up" Then if she gives me a quizical look, I explain "Somebody didn't wake up this morning who would gladly trade places with me?" It takes time, but after a while they begin to look forward to you getting in their line. Then just talk to them like a normal person, if they have kids, let them talk about their kids. It they have a dog or a cat, find out its name and ask about it. What you are learning is how to easily talk to women like they are a normal person Sure most of them, probably have a husband or a BF, but that can change. And you never know, one night you might be at the bar filled with guys and she just might walk in with her friends who are taking her out to cheer her up. And lucky you get to the friendly face in the crowd. It has happend to me several times. 1
2.50 a gallon Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 What is stopping you from going after the gals that you think are out of your league? I am a short ectomorph. Nice word for skinny. Try as I might there was just no way I could put on muscles. My problem was I was always attracted to good looking women. And worse yet, I was a leg man. Meaning, most times the women that I was attracted to were taller than me. And like my attempts to put on weight, there was nothing I could do to change attitude. So I have always been after those who were "out of my league", as most women are attracted to men who are taller then them I would go to a party with my buds, and there were times that I felt I needed to hold a sign saying look down here, as all the girls were checking out my taller friends. But as in my previous post, I learned to dance, I learned to cook, I learned how to talk to women I'd just met, and that was a tough one as I was painfully shy. There were times in my teens, that I would blush so bad, that is was actually painful. It hurt! I never dated a bunny or a fold out girl, though my Ex was definite fold out material. And one of my dates, who I only dated once, and let go, a year later sent me the latest issue, and guess who was on the cover? One of the things that I learned over the years, is that most women, no matter how could looking they are, see themselves not as ugly, but just plain and unattractive. And there is always something they don't like about themself, their ears are too big, or they dont's like their pug nose. When I was in college, I was shocked to find out the girl who was voted home coming queen was setting home alone on many weekends. Why? Because most of the guys thought that she was out of their league and were too afraid to be rejected. Learn to dance, learn to cook, learn how to be confident around women, and you would be surprised how much you social life can turn around. Also it doesn't hurt to learn how to like cats. 1
somedude81 Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 How do you get girls in your league? Lower your league.
Titanwolf Posted June 24, 2012 Posted June 24, 2012 What is this "league"? May I please hear an explanation. What is the basis of this league? looks? because somehow, I doubt it's based on things like intelligence or drive. 1
Author Bob_Funk Posted June 24, 2012 Author Posted June 24, 2012 What is this "league"? May I please hear an explanation. What is the basis of this league? looks? because somehow, I doubt it's based on things like intelligence or drive. Well, I was a comp sci major and am now working in the field. So I clearly have both. That's more than I can say for the hordes of aimless hipsters with Mrs. degrees who've rejected me over the years. 2
Author Bob_Funk Posted June 24, 2012 Author Posted June 24, 2012 Lower your league. To what? 250 lb. girls?
Bristolius Posted June 24, 2012 Posted June 24, 2012 I'd even be happy with an ugly girl, as long as she's height-weight proportionate. Here's my experience with different methods: Online dating - Get the odd reply from average girls, of which very few ever materialize. Go on maybe one date with an average girl every two months. Move in for a kiss at the end, only to be snubbed every time. Bars - All I see is social circles, full of mostly guys. No girls standing alone waiting to be opened like in the movies. They're either with their boyfriends or being chatted up. What am I supposed to do? Tap them on the shoulder and interrupt their conversation? Clubs - Similar to bars. Just a swarm of bodies (mostly guys). Blaring music that makes it impossible to converse. These places merely sell the illusion of sex, because I've never seen girls leave with random guys. During the day - Hardly anyone to approach. Receive an instant "get the **** away from me" look 70% of the time. The other 30% (usually foreign-born) may be nice, but the end result's the same: rejection. What else is there? The bolded seems like you're maybe not reading social cues. Do you have fun conversing and learning about a new person when you're on a date? Does she seem to be having a pleasant time? Does she seem interested in learning about you? Is the mood light and relaxed? 1
drguerre Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 Not bothering to read the last three pages, but for starters, you're already messing up with the "getting girls in your league" thing. There are no such things as leagues, it's just something kids make in high school because it's "gross" to date a "nerd" when you're "popular" and you're "better than that." Everyone is an equal. You can be the most handsome/beautiful/sexiest/whathaveyou person to someone, be average to another, and be the ugliest thing they have ever seen to the next. All about preference. So if "average" looking isn't your preference, it doesn't mean they are in your "league." It just means you're not attracted to her. Step one, you need to be confident in who you are and what you believe. Confidence is, and always will be, the golden ticket to anyone's personality, sex drive, business relationships, EVERYTHING you do. Gleam confidence when you walk in a room and people will notice. But DO NOT be arrogant, or pretend youre better than someone else because of your confidence. Step two, please do not use a pick up line. Step three, be you. It's cliche, but that's only because it works. Don't try to be someone you're not. Although you're still a human that works the same way as any other person, your personality is what makes you different. Someone doesn't like it, well then on to the next one. That's what dating is all about. Step four, learn those three steps and live them.
mortensorchid Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 How to get a woman out of your league? I was just watching that movie She's Out of my Leauge the other day, I could not get over one thing that the main character did. Granted, the woman main character was not a stuck up shrew under a supermodel's body/face, she was a geniune good person. Should you find out that the gal is the first, then it makes no difference. But if you have a truly wonderful woman, don't treat her like crap because you are too cowardly to end things with dignity (if you are, in fact, going to end it).
yongyong Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 Please don't throw double standards bullsxit. 'some girls are very shallow oh but I only dated hot girls' WTF is that? I have no hard feeling when a woman turns me down because of my looks. I approach women the same way. I see an attractive girl and I want to find more about her. I don't look at ugly girls and think 'maybe she can make it up if she has very good personality' bottom line, you are the same as those shallow girls. I am too. Your problem is you are playing the game ... not the woman. You expect that because a woman is a certain quality of looks, that you can get her. Similar to like if you have a certain GPA and SAT score, you'll get into a certain school. Except women don't work like that. Some very unattractive women are very shallow. All of the women I've managed to date are well above lookswise a few of the women who have flat out rejected me badly. Almost every one here would agree. And it's really just a coincidence. I don't go for looks. As long as you are not shooting way above your league, I'd say keep playing the numbers in terms of women you are attracted to. You'll hit one eventually.
bac Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 The bolded seems like you're maybe not reading social cues. Do you have fun conversing and learning about a new person when you're on a date? Does she seem to be having a pleasant time? Does she seem interested in learning about you? Is the mood light and relaxed? I agree with it. Before the first kiss, you should figure out if the specific girl considers kissing on the 1 (2) date to be OK. Her behavior depends on her attitudes/values and it has nothing to do with you personally. If she kisses(or has sex with you), she does it because she thinks it is the right thing to do with most guys. She would do it with most guys. Girls are different and they behave differently. You have to figure out what her values/rules are and match the rules to get what you want. Reading about NLP and emotional intelligence might help.
PIM Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 Bob_Funk, Just out of curiosity where do you live? Just wondering because maybe you're in a smaller town and pickings are slim to begin with?
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