Los-t Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 Hi everyone. I'm a mess today. I broke up with my ex about a month ago. He called me 2 weeks later to inform me he had a venereal disease and I needed to see the doctor. We both had been previously tested and were clean, so either he cheated on me while we were together or he got something shortly after we broke up. I was devastated when he shared this with me and berated him in a very ugly way. I know I broke up with him, but I feel so empty and lonely, because he moved on so quickly which makes me realize how little he actually cared for me to begin with. I should be grateful it's over with, but I just feel so low right now. I don't have many people I can talk to about my feelings, so I'm posting here...
MooBear Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 I know I broke up with him, but I feel so empty and lonely, because he moved on so quickly which makes me realize how little he actually cared for me to begin with. I just wanted to comment specifically on this first. Moving on quickly isn't always an indication of the ex not caring - more so in this case it's that he is trying to fill that void with someone he doesn't care about. Thats awful to find out he had a disease and most likely cheated at some point You are definitely better off without him. Feeling lonely and empty is normal - this is a good time to find some hobbies! Do a course at your local college, or learn pottery, or things like that. Something that will occupy your time as well as your mind. I always went to the gym when I had a breakup. I would slog it out there for about an hour a day and by the time I got home I was too exhausted to feel sad!! And I felt good because I was doing something for myself. It is still early days so it will get easier. Try to avoid his contact. Stay busy and do something special for yourself every day so you have something to look forward to all the time
BB7 Posted June 24, 2012 Posted June 24, 2012 Yeah I just wanted to comment on the same as Moo did. My girl broke up with me and the first weekend I didn't even want to think about being with anybody else on a physical level. The next weekend I did and again the following one. I just wanted that connection that I missed from my ex so it certainly doesn't mean that he didn't care about you. It's not even about moving on, it's about filling that void. On the other side of things, if he cheated on you then you have right to be upset and think that.
BB7 Posted June 24, 2012 Posted June 24, 2012 It does feel like that you are just angry at him because he's trying to move on though, what did you expect when you broke up with him?
Author Los-t Posted June 24, 2012 Author Posted June 24, 2012 Thank you for giving me some things to think about. Both of your comments really help me process my feelings. I think you are right with getting out there and doing some things for myself. I'm going to try harder. Am I angry? I guess I am, but I think I am more hurt than angry. I did break up with him, but I did it because I felt like he was destroying all that is good with me. It should have happened sooner, but I cared deeply for him. I know we are both better off without each other, but it still hurts. I don't recover quickly, but apparently he does.
BB7 Posted June 24, 2012 Posted June 24, 2012 Guys think differently than girls and sex certainly seems to have a different level of meaning for women than it does for men. He is probably hurting too and this is his way of dealing with it and you have your way too. Going by what you have said, you have made the right decision for you and you need to stick by it. It isn't nice that you have had this phone call though, I can understand your distress.
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