dchin1985 Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 (edited) Hello guys, thank you for those interested in this post and hopefully you can offer me some advice. I have been dating this girl for two and a half years. In fact, when i first met her I have already loved her, we kissed on the first day we met and slowly developed into a relationship for both of us. When I first met her, I was living in another country and I made the choice to move to her country to be with her without second thought (my home country), of course in the middle I had alot of arguments with my mum to move back to another country. Anyway, we are both turning 27 and we have been dating wonderfully until recently, we hardly ever argued and we are very happy when we see each other. We talked about getting married and her parents encouraged me to get married with her and not to wait too long. But at that time, I just started my career and had no strong financial support (even though now I have a good job and exciting career), i am working very hard to give us financial support for a family. However, we both are very career orientated, we both have good jobs and work very hard, of course it comes with all sort of stress and trouble. Initially, we were so passionate about each other, we loved seeing each other and are very physically attracted Because we both live with our parents, hence we don't often have many private time alone. (please do understand, we live in a city where it would take 2 generation to afford a house; of course we can get it quicker with our income, however it will still take some time), so sex was very good initially but quiet rare nowadays. For my girlfriend i can talk about her all day long, however i think i should cut it short from here for you. Hopefully you can offer me advice. All went very good, until her ex-boss tried to get with her and buy her expensive gifts and dinner (i know she wasn't interested in her boss). I knew exactly the eventual consequence of it is that she would become more materialistic and eventually drift her boyfriend out of relationship. Every rich does that. But i loved her and wanted her with a good career hence i didn't warn her, but i had that kept in mind all the time. In our job, we both go through a lot of stress and trouble and very tired after full day work, we became so busy that we hardly had time for each other and when we went back home she would want to spend some alone time to watch tv and didn't have time to talk with me on the phone. A few months went by, we hardly had sex (besides we went overseas for holiday) and stress really put off sexual attraction (I really regret this), our date becomes routine even though i tried to spark things up, but she was sick, tired, stressed and tense and frustrated, she wants some rest. I talked to her about this but I understand that maybe she is just really tired and doesn't want to be bothered. So last week, we talked on the phone, and she said she wants some time to think about her feeling for me as she feels that her feeling is not as strong as before anymore, she feels reluctant to get physical with me or even holiday with me. I didn't talk to her for 2 days, when i called her last night (when i went out and really want to get drunk and forget about things), she told me that she told everyone that I am the very very best guy she has ever met when she cried while saying this. She wants to test whether she would think of me and miss me during this time away from each other. I feel very sad to be honest, we both admitted that we both have fault that contributed to the relationship going down hill. I told her that I really want her to give me a chance to show her and work together to put the relationship on the right place, because whether it works or not could be just a "fine line" difference we make today. At last I told her that I have always loved her and would try to give everything she wants to her, as I don't want to let go, I would give her time to think things over and hopefully things will be much stronger for us when her thinking time passes. She cried and asked what if everything is not ok - I answered I would try again, i would come back to find you! I told her before we cut off the call today that, when we come back together, I want to talk more about us, how we can work together, how we should behave and etc. She laughs I am very confused, though i need to give her time and not put her off, yet I just hope everything will be ok. Can you please give me your honest opinion about how you view this and why is she behaving like this? Honestly, i am sure some of you know exactly how stress and work can affect relationship and sexual attraction, how did you deal with it? Many thanks to you all. Edited June 23, 2012 by dchin1985
Author dchin1985 Posted June 23, 2012 Author Posted June 23, 2012 Added: She also said she is not finding we have common topics to talk about. We both are totally different persons, i am sporty type and always want to go out and do something. Whereas she is a home type, girly type who likes to do shopping and watching tv. Initially we would make cooking date, and invites friends to come over but however this dies out when we got busy. Any advice?? Please.
Recommended Posts