xpaperxcutx Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 (edited) I was the dumper and I walked away from him because the relationship was one- sided and it got to a point where I became emotionally hollowed and scarred. Its aproaching a month since I last saw him. I have been on strivt NC and he hasn't made attempts to contact me. The first two weeks passed by solidly, I was tryinv out new things and meeting new people. Recently my mind has been wandering back to him and I find myself losibg sleep over him. The thing is is anyone seen the BreakUp with Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn, I feel like Jen's character. I cared for him and at one point I thought I could love. Again all of this. is past tense. I want to move on. So at point will I finally move on from him emotionally? Edited June 23, 2012 by xpaperxcutx
Mr Scorpio Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 I'm afraid you already know the answer: it depends on the person. Of course, the length of the relationship is a big factor. For some people? A few months. For other people? Never.
TaraMaiden Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 I want to move on. So at point will I finally move on from him emotionally? Tell us.... When do you think you'd like to be over him, by? What would you deem 'healthy' and 'unhealthy?
Author xpaperxcutx Posted June 23, 2012 Author Posted June 23, 2012 Tell us.... When do you think you'd like to be over him, by? What would you deem 'healthy' and 'unhealthy? I would have liked to have been over him that day when I walked away. Its depressing to think I still have feelings for him. I'm not pining over him but it is unhealthy to think I wanto to be with him again.
LovelyDaze Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 There's no real timeline I have learned. Various exes took various times. My last that dumped me three years ago took a little over a year or so to really get him out of my system. The quicker you distance yourself from your ex and any breadcrumbs, games, and hopeless begging for second chances is how much better your healing will be. We all wish we could have gave our exes a high five and not cried our eyes out when our exes left but then that would mean we didn't care for them at all. We learn from the experience and learn what to allow and what not to allow in the next relationship. Nobody is promised everlasting love. We just have to give every relationship our best shot with dignity, strength, and common sense. Don't worry about how long, just concentrate on getting THROUGH heartache and being in a good place again.
Tiera D Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 a new relationship almost completely cleaned my brain her memories..i wasted 8 months waiting my ex though..i think it depends on how much you tried to move on,you change your live routine you should be healed in some months,on the other hand you stayed at home crying everyday,well then it would take alot longer..I read about a case where a guy waited an ex 4 years+..reading any possible clues the ex might give..that guy is rather paranoid i must say.. TD
Author xpaperxcutx Posted June 30, 2012 Author Posted June 30, 2012 a new relationship almost completely cleaned my brain her memories..i wasted 8 months waiting my ex though..i think it depends on how much you tried to move on,you change your live routine you should be healed in some months,on the other hand you stayed at home crying everyday,well then it would take alot longer..I read about a case where a guy waited an ex 4 years+..reading any possible clues the ex might give..that guy is rather paranoid i must say.. TD I wish I can use a new relationship to wipe him off but everytime an opportunity to meet a new guy arises I shut down. In the last month I have turned down around 4-5 guys. I'm just not mentally there. I feel angry now, because I allowed him to hurt me and any emotion for and about him is wasted because my energy can b e better spent elsewhere. It has gotten easier since I can't remember how its been since day 1 of NC but everytime I visit this forum I think to myself maybe somehow he's found his way onto LS and is posting about him.
Coffee20 Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 I wish I was over him right now! It wasn't even one year relationship and I still suffer, sometimes I feel better and it has been 2,5 months from the break up and 7 weeks of NC. My first relationship lasted three years and I started to feel better after one year, I was over after two years.
SerCay Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 I was the dumper and I walked away from him because the relationship was one- sided and it got to a point where I became emotionally hollowed and scarred. Its aproaching a month since I last saw him. I have been on strivt NC and he hasn't made attempts to contact me. The first two weeks passed by solidly, I was tryinv out new things and meeting new people. Recently my mind has been wandering back to him and I find myself losibg sleep over him. The thing is is anyone seen the BreakUp with Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn, I feel like Jen's character. I cared for him and at one point I thought I could love. Again all of this. is past tense. I want to move on. So at point will I finally move on from him emotionally? I'm in your situation papercut..I dumped him too and at times I regret it. It's been 3 weeks of NC now, and he hasn't tried to contact me either. Weird thing is I guess I expected him to contact me..but I started to feel bad when I noticed after a week of NC that he didn't... It's moments that I'm home and have nothing on my hand when I start wandering..but being outside all the time on the other hand, is also not very fullfilling is it? I think..The point where we will finally move on from them emotionally, is the moment we TRULY realise and believe that there's no chance for this relationship, not now nor in the future..I sure hope that moment will come quickly for us
Author xpaperxcutx Posted June 30, 2012 Author Posted June 30, 2012 I'm in your situation papercut..I dumped him too and at times I regret it. It's been 3 weeks of NC now, and he hasn't tried to contact me either. Weird thing is I guess I expected him to contact me..but I started to feel bad when I noticed after a week of NC that he didn't... It's moments that I'm home and have nothing on my hand when I start wandering..but being outside all the time on the other hand, is also not very fullfilling is it? I think..The point where we will finally move on from them emotionally, is the moment we TRULY realise and believe that there's no chance for this relationship, not now nor in the future..I sure hope that moment will come quickly for us I hate to admit I used the breakup as an ultamatum and in a way I did. You eould think if they wanted to be with you they chase after you. Baut he didn't. Its upsetting my mind is refusing to let him go. I'm sure he's moved on. I want to move on too.
SerCay Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 I hate to admit I used the breakup as an ultamatum and in a way I did. You eould think if they wanted to be with you they chase after you. Baut he didn't. Its upsetting my mind is refusing to let him go. I'm sure he's moved on. I want to move on too. Oh gosh..so familiar but so wrong..It's exactly the same thing I did it for..but it only caused more tension and after 2 times dumping him like that, he didn't chase after me the 3rd. That became our final break up.. I guess we have to live with the fact that we did something just to get our way and completely messed it up. And maybe that's the exact reason why we have such a hard time moving on and closing the chapter? Just sayin' (he was a complete ******* besides this by the way)
CopingGal Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 Okay listen, all of you people that want the pain to be over and over right now...you have to stop thinking that way. Just chill. It takes a long time to heal and jumping into another relationship is not only unhealthy, but unfair to the rebound person. Just chill out. Don't run from the pain. Go into the pain head first, and accept the fact that the pain is going to be excruciating for a very, very long time. Learn to accept the pain. Learn to live with it. Let time do it's magic and don't rush it. If you hop from person to person, you don't learn. You don't grow, whether you are the dumper or the dumpee, you need to chill and take a step back and process the relationship. 2
Author xpaperxcutx Posted June 30, 2012 Author Posted June 30, 2012 Oh gosh..so familiar but so wrong..It's exactly the same thing I did it for..but it only caused more tension and after 2 times dumping him like that, he didn't chase after me the 3rd. That became our final break up.. I guess we have to live with the fact that we did something just to get our way and completely messed it up. And maybe that's the exact reason why we have such a hard time moving on and closing the chapter? Just sayin' (he was a complete ******* besides this by the way) Can you give me a link to your background history?
SerCay Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 Can you give me a link to your background history? Of course! I don't really have a history written out though.. I just posted some of the problems I was facing before the final break up..here's the links: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/328602-am-i-stingy-like-he-saysss http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/329429-would-you-accept-behaviour-am-i-simply-very-jealous I would love to read yours..do you have a link?
Tiera D Posted July 1, 2012 Posted July 1, 2012 OP, i think perhaps you should reduce dating at the moment perhaps hang out with normal friends 1st,just enjoy being single..when you are ready,the spark will come to you with the new man..i have a saying by a girl in my area that roughly means "A girl should choose a man that loves her more than she loves him" TD
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