sunlover Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 Ok, so youre in a relationship and speak of engagement and a life together. however, due to jobs you are away from your significant other for 18 months with no visits. You both agree to see other people and be intimate during this time. Would you be comfortable continuing your life with this person after he/she has been intimate with other people?
olddirtyspatula Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 I don't know if this applies to you or not, BUT when I left the country while still in a relationship I had a "free pass" so if I wanted to I had permission to hook up or whatever, but I always thought that was weird, so when I found myself interested in someone I falsely attributed it to having fallen out of love with my ex and broke up with him believing I was doing the right thing. I suppose in retrospect I don't wish I had engaged in my "free pass" and kept it silent, because that would have made me feel horrible, but I wish I had a more realistic idea that in a long term (real long term, not just a year or 2) relationship you're going to occasionally be attracted to the exotic unknown, and it doesn't negate your love for the other person. So I don't know what you're going to work out with your SO but if his mind wanders it doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't love you. It's the way we're built. Hopefully you two will manage it well.
Author sunlover Posted June 23, 2012 Author Posted June 23, 2012 Well, hes been hanging out with the same woman for four months. I know they have been intimate but supposey he told her she cannot become emotionally attached and that they sre just FWB. But im thinking he is falling her her since its not a new girl each week.
Feelsgoodman Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 Well, hes been hanging out with the same woman for four months. I know they have been intimate but supposey he told her she cannot become emotionally attached and that they sre just FWB. But im thinking he is falling her her since its not a new girl each week. You've been watching too much TV. It's not that easy for most guys to have a new girl each week. Unless this guy is a total stud, it's highly unlikely he could do that even if he wanted to.
FitChick Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 I'd be very suspicious of a job where no visits are allowed unless he is in prison on a desert island. All companies let you take time off.
tivoconga Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 Ok, so youre in a relationship and speak of engagement and a life together. however, due to jobs you are away from your significant other for 18 months with no visits. You both agree to see other people and be intimate during this time. Would you be comfortable continuing your life with this person after he/she has been intimate with other people? I'd struggle with it - I think if we completely split, and then found our way back together I'd have fewer issues, but it's a tough situation... My question would of course be, why no visits for 18 months? Planes make travel pretty easy - even if you're half way around the world...you should be able to see each other at least a couple of times a year if you're very serious.
january2011 Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 No, I wouldn't be comfortable. I've been through a break where the other person was intimate with someone else (without prior agreement). It destroyed our relationship. And 18 months is not a break in my book, it's a break up if you both agree that you're seeing other people and having sex with them. In which case, no take-backsies. Even if we're talking about deployment/working on an oil rig, I would still want fidelity and would never agree to us seeing other people and being intimate with them.
Sid6.7 Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 It happens to our military Men that are away all the time. The difference is, they don't know it till they get home.
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