Author hopeto Posted May 20, 2015 Author Share Posted May 20, 2015 He does not sound too bad. He has the only problem of being bad at sex. That is about normal for a long-term marriage. IMO Most husbands would not even go for 2 strokes with their wives. But, many husbands are also cheating on their wives, disrespectful, neglecting, emotionally distant, smoking m., bad fathers and making not enough money to support their family. BTW, I had 2 husbands. I never said he was a bad guy. He is selfish there is a difference. bad to me beating, not taking care of, trash He is none of those but he is not physical at all. I need that. Not only do I need it I want it!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author hopeto Posted May 20, 2015 Author Share Posted May 20, 2015 Cheating is not the solution to your problems. If your needs are not being met, sit down with your husband and have a serious conversation in which you will explain what the consequences will be if he doesn't change. In my opinion, there is only one kind of consequence: You will leave him. If he doesn't wish to change, then you will have to follow through with your threat. If then he still doesn't want to change, a divorce will be the only thing left. If it has to come to that, then at least do it with dignity.[/quote I have sat down and talked to him till I am blue in the face. Again I did not cheat but he has. He says not sex but putting your hands all over another woman and the eyes of come get some and sexual comments is cheating!!! why is it that he can be so selfish? Link to post Share on other sites
Author hopeto Posted May 20, 2015 Author Share Posted May 20, 2015 Why in the world did you marry him in the first place? This is so screwed up. you have no idea!! you may think so but love is blind! we all are entitled to how we feel. some can go with out the touch. I can not. in the start he was not like this!! so why change? if you love some one you make them feel it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hopeto Posted May 20, 2015 Author Share Posted May 20, 2015 Definitely NOT a troll IMO...just someone with severe psychological wounds that will never be able to get fully addressed on an anonymous internet forum. Hopeto...you need to get help for yourself and your kid. At least get help for your kid cuz it seems her entire life has been a living hell. a inactive member till recently!!!! also preach what you know!! married the first time for 22 years!!!! so what does it say for yourself as a member? Link to post Share on other sites
Author hopeto Posted May 20, 2015 Author Share Posted May 20, 2015 Definitely NOT a troll IMO...just someone with severe psychological wounds that will never be able to get fully addressed on an anonymous internet forum. Hopeto...you need to get help for yourself and your kid. At least get help for your kid cuz it seems her entire life has been a living hell. your a sorry excuse for information!! there is always one in every bunch!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author hopeto Posted May 20, 2015 Author Share Posted May 20, 2015 what a nonsense post, so presumably before you got married he was the same way...why did you get married? Honour your vows and stop b*tching. it was not like this in the start...sad thing is yall take your spouse for granted till it is too late then you wonna come crawling back. Why not make each other feel the same as the day you ment. Or is that to much for you men to handle? Link to post Share on other sites
Author hopeto Posted May 20, 2015 Author Share Posted May 20, 2015 Definitely NOT a troll IMO...just someone with severe psychological wounds that will never be able to get fully addressed on an anonymous internet forum. Hopeto...you need to get help for yourself and your kid. At least get help for your kid cuz it seems her entire life has been a living hell. IT ALSO TELLS WHAT KIND OF MENTALITY YOU HAVE "You need to get help for you and your KID" My KID : you mean my child?" she is not a thing!!! a what ever....She is my child and she is loved and she is very loved and her life has been hard as far as the tragedy but she has by far her whole life has not been a living hell. I wonder if you will ever just have a KID? If you do...do you introduce them "Hey this is my KID" that is so derogatory.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author hopeto Posted May 20, 2015 Author Share Posted May 20, 2015 Definitely NOT a troll IMO...just someone with severe psychological wounds that will never be able to get fully addressed on an anonymous internet forum. Hopeto...you need to get help for yourself and your kid. At least get help for your kid cuz it seems her entire life has been a living hell. we all need so way to vent.....just as you need to bash people in there post we are both here for the same reasons. Maybe yours is to learn how to be nice and how to treat people. Link to post Share on other sites
Friskyone4u Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 Hope To, It is obvious you are really pissed off at your husband. And from what you described it sounds like this affair he had you are talking about was that he was at a strip club or something. You deserve affection and that is part of being married. There is obviously something really wrong with him if he is not interested in sex with his wife and he is not on any medication that could cause this. Whatever the reasons for all of this, having an affair is not going to solve your problem. You will get caught and most likely all hell will break loose and the chances are you will wind up divorced anyway, and if not your relationship will be worse than it is even now. Banging another man is not the best way to get his attention. If it is that bad, just tell him you cannot go on like this and file for divorce. That does not happen immediately and that may be a much better way to "wake him up" than having sex with another man. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Jessie1231 Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 IT ALSO TELLS WHAT KIND OF MENTALITY YOU HAVE "You need to get help for you and your KID" My KID : you mean my child?" she is not a thing!!! a what ever....She is my child and she is loved and she is very loved and her life has been hard as far as the tragedy but she has by far her whole life has not been a living hell. I wonder if you will ever just have a KID? If you do...do you introduce them "Hey this is my KID" that is so derogatory.... You do understand that kid is just another word for child, or son, or daughter right? Haven't you ever heard the phrase, "I'm going to pick up the kids!" It's not the same as saying, "I'm going to pick up those little bastards!" So I'm not seeing how that's derogatory at all. Anyway, are you always this angry? That could be a huge part of the problem you're having with your husband. Have you tried therapy to deal with your anger? Because if you're this worked up about advice someone gave you online, I can only imagine how mad you get with your husband. That is probably something you need to address. Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 So you are in a sexless marriag eiwth a cheating partner? Why haven't you divorced yet? Why do you allow yourself to be strung along? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 Feeling like you feel probably sucks. Why not get a divorce? Or if not, ask your husband to open the marriage? Link to post Share on other sites
TunaCat Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 WHY DID I MARRY HIM?......... I LOVED HIM AND I STILL DO If you truly loved him cheating would never even occur to you. If you're unhappy, get a divorce. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 There could be a few things going on with him. He might have low T and that could explain the sex light switch getting turned off. He also could be suffering from depression. That will kill someone's sex drive as well. He might be withdrawn about sex because he might know that he's not satisfying you in bed. Believe me, no guy brags about being a two pump chump. Therefore, his male ego might be in the toilet as well. You need to take the bulls by the horns in this relationship right now. Make him and appointment with a doctor. Tell him that he has an appointment on this date and time. Drive him to the appointment. Find out if there's something medically wrong. If he's in good health physically, then make both of you an appointment with a marriage counselor. Tell him the time and date and you both go. The counselor may refer you guys to a sex therapist that will work with the both of you to reconnect on a physical level as well as the marriage counselor working with you two on emotional levels. The sex therapist can give him idea's on how to last longer in the sack and make things more pleasurable for the two of you! See? There are so many options that you still need to explore! Cheating is NEVER the answer. Especially if you're still in love with your husband. You cheat, you lose it all. You married him and I think you still love him, you're just very frustrated. You need to take charge. Make it happen. Link to post Share on other sites
davidromero43 Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 I really hope you leave his ass! That is what he deserves. To not be with someone like you. Life is short. Be happy. Link to post Share on other sites
minime13 Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 I am married to a person that shows no love and its 2 strokes and he is done. I have talked till I am blue in the face. I have told him bluntly, still nothing. He does not even like to kiss! I am fed up!!! I am gonna take care of me and that is it!! I wonna be loved, I wonna be kissed, I wonna be made to feel like someone cares!!! he will not do anything about the way things are. He seems as if he has no experience with sex at all, cause he sucks!! I hate being so mean but he just will not try anything. so I am gonna get mine! I know that is mean. so tell me what to do. He says he never has been able to last well maybe cause he thinks of getting his and cares nothing of his partner. I have never been the cheating kind but I am fixing to go there!! Divorce? Seriously, what kind of effort do you guys go through to find the right partner before getting married? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 OP, I've been here. I also considered staying married and having an affair on the side since I had so many opportunities it was ridiculous! I wanted it just so I could feel affection from someone...anyone. My husband even gave me "permission" albeit reluctantly, provided I still come home to him. After much thought, I didn't cheat because I didn't want to be THAT woman and despite how unhappy I was in my marriage and how resentful I was with my husband, I didn't think he deserved it either. In the end I left him after 20 years. And guess what? I still loved him and always will but we were completely incompatible sexually. I'm a woman that craves affection and physical touch and my husband was someone who showed his love through doing things/acts of service. Sex and intimacy was not a priority for him and was for me. Tread carefully. If you're doing this to provoke a reaction from your husband it might very well blow up in your face - BIG time. This is the WRONG way to go about it in my humble opinion. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
66Charger Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 Hats off to a lady. Roses to you Michelle Link to post Share on other sites
Phoenician Posted June 30, 2015 Share Posted June 30, 2015 hopety, first of all I would like to tell you that you are a great women ; don't listen to opinions that just tell you : why did u marry him , why don't you divorce , why don't you enforce things ... sex deprivation , or more accurately intimacy deprivation is one of the hardest feelings one can feel , I have been through this for 17 years . Objectively , the issue is not just sex , if I understand well your case I can relate it to some facts from my marriage , which is soon will be history . Culture , selfintegrity and commitment are factors that makes one stay and try again , and again , anad again until feeling abused. I have many times said , that I have been through wars,witnessed killing of best friends ,survived bankrupthy , a brain tumor , yet feeling deprive is the worst .... I believe some ppl are just LD , selfish and lazy, the worst come when they are all of them ... Link to post Share on other sites
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