eurotik Posted June 22, 2012 Posted June 22, 2012 (edited) I started dating this girl about 3 months ago and is by far the girl who has treated me the best. She was in school far away and I went over there to visit her. Before we started dating things were fine but when we got together I started to show jealousy and controlling nature. I took her out to places and treated her to a lot of things but I would constantly get angry over things I shouldn't have gotten angry over, if she were ever to study with a guy by herself I would get angry, or if she would go to a party...you know now that she's gone I feel so terrible for all this stuff I caused. She warned me a few times of that but I still messed it up. When she came back from school here for good we were arguing a little bit and I know she had lost feelings. She ended up ending it with me, immediately I went to ask for her back and told her let's try it one more time, we can't just give up, things can change. We ended up getting back however I knew that she had already lost feelings. When we got back together I ended up being a bit better about things but there are two things that she did that really pissed me off. There was one night where she was going to her cousins for a birthday party which was very close to my home, I asked her maybe we can hang out together since you'll be so close, she didn't want to and argued that it wasn't a night for us but a night for her cousin. I understood that but logically it would have made sense to have hung out that night. That angered me. The following week I took her out to eat and stuff, we went on a few dates. Friday night came and she told me she was going to a party- she invited me however I told her I couldn't drive. She said that she was driving but it would be too much gas to come get me. Obviously I took this as disrespect and ended it with her when she got back from the party telling her that what we had seemed one sided and it didn't seem organic and like a normal relationship. Its obvious that when we got back together she wasn't as interested and had lost a lot of feelings. I felt terrible for ending it with her and I called her a few days later to tell her we should get back and well I might have made an irrational decision because I was angry. She said she was done and she didn't want it anymore, she said she feels free. At this point I called her a few times that week and became a little desperate because I was trying to not lose her. She told me on the phone that it was best we don't talk. I was wanting her back so much that I spoke to her friend on facebook, her being the one that new a lot about how we started off, she told me that she was happy and that I have to recognize my faults and that if I ever wanted to get her back I would need to prove that I had changed because she already gave me a few chances. My ex girlfriend found out I had spoken to her friend and she gave me a phone call furious at me saying that if I need to say something to say it to her. And to leave her alone for a while. So after that I said okay I am out of your life. I didn't speak to her for 2 weeks and realizing my value was to the ground I sent her this letter in hope of something. "I promise with all my heart that this is the last message I will send you. I don't want to say all the typical and desperate things one says when they've **** up because I know I've **** up. One thing I do want to say for closure in all this is thank you. You have so many redeeming qualities that I realize that my place in all this was to make everything possible to make you happy and I failed. But I do remember in the beginning the way we found each other by chance and how we spent 6 hours on the phone just getting to know each other and how your face lit up when we had that wonton soup and how we took care of each other, those days without a care in the world and that's the best thing I can hold onto and take with me. I recognize my faults and problems but this life is about growing and if it takes having lost you to learn the lessons I need to learn so be it. I just wanted to thank you for giving me that opportunity to see what it was like to find a girl so unique and happy and carefree and I know that going forward my purpose is to not let my flaws hold me back from becoming the guy I want to be and appreciate a great thing when I have it. I hope your life is filled with great things because the best that I was able to know of you was your happy essence and I hate to have caused you so much pain because you're worth so much. Even though a lot has happened between us, I will always have a place in my heart for u. What I feel for you is something I've felt for nobody else and whatever you do doesn't change who u are and I see that now. I hope that when u read this u can recognize that everything happens for a reason and finding u was a blessing no matter what." In hopes this would bring value to me and have her not think I was dying over her I sent that and she replied saying: Thank you for your kind words. End result is I am here wanting her back and I'm wondering if there is any way to pursue her in the future. I want to truly fix all my bad habits. I deleted her from facebook initially and I was planning on doing NC for two months and adding her again with a fresh look and all. But I want a guaranteed plan to get her back because at this point this **** seems hopeless. Edited June 22, 2012 by eurotik
AlexanderJames Posted June 22, 2012 Posted June 22, 2012 Sadly mate theres no "Guaranteed" way of making someone come back. Initiate NC, and stick at it. Dont contact her and dont respond when she contacts you (unless its her begging you to take her back) If you HAVE to talk to her, which some of us do, only do it when she initiates the conversation. If she calls you, make it look like your busy and cut the conversation off at its climax. Saying you need to leave and hanging up right when your conversation is at its highest point will leave her wanting more. If she asks to see you in person, make her wait a day or two before you can see her, drag it out and make her think "What could he be doing that is so important he cant see me?". Dont tell her what youre doing though. Keep it a mystery to her, let her dwell on her thoughts and let her go crazy missing you. There's no 100% gaurantee this will make her come back to you, but if she is going to come back at all then this is probably the best way to do it. It makes you look strong and independant. Contacting her lets her know you miss her and need her. Gives her strength and ego boosts making it less likely she will miss you or what you had. If theres any hope of reconciliation then NC will make it happen, if not well at least your already on the right track to letting go and moving on. Good luck mate, we're here for you.
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