Ladies - Should men raise their standards??

[january2011]

My eyes are burning from trying to decipher the language that they're all typing in. My mind keeps telling me it's English, but I'm just not sure. I knew there was a reason why I didn't join POF and why I don't read forums like BB.

 

As to men's standards, from experience, the guys I've come across have very few when it comes to just sex other than he's mildly attracted to her body and can get it up to be able to perform. The STD question doesn't even come into it most of the time. Very sad, so yes, I think guys should raise their standards for sex and relationships. But judging by the posts on those forums, I think those guys would get vertigo if they attempted it. Nasty just doesn't quite cover it.

[El Brujo]

There was a time when being a man meant something. Now we've become a generation of pussy beggars.

 

It's a pretty sad site, but that's the reality.

 

Unfortunately that's about the size of it... but whaddya do, addicts will be addicts... *sigh*

 

All I can do is my individual part. I have standards, and women are not the center of my universe.

 

And I used to think I was the only one who felt that way..! Guess this crystal ball came in handy after all...

Edited June 22, 2012 by El Brujo

[MrNate 2.0]

The 'In' Gifs killed me

[sally4sara]

Is it even remotely possible this is all for comedic entertainment? I mean, its not like we have evidence that these guys took the next steps of meeting up with these two uhhh, ladies IRL right? Or maybe the women (if in fact they are women) are making **** up for their own amusement? What do we know for certain here?

 

I remember there was this one bucket of crazy girl in my best friend's neighborhood and the word was she would do anything with anyone. So some of the guys called her one night when we were all hanging out and put her on speaker phone. They asked about coming over and would she be willing to do (outlandish nasty requests; use your imagination) which of course she would say she was down to do. The thing is, none of them ever went over to her house for the things they asked about or anything otherwise. And big surprise, I never met anyone who did. It was always "I heard she and so and so got up to....."

Maybe the most she ever did was mute the phone and laugh her ass off just like the guys who called her than night were doing?

 

Who knows? Maybe I'm just fooling myself here but I'm having a hard time believing your average guy would go for that stuff.

[kaylan]

ok. Would that make you a 'prude' then?

 

or that label only applies to women who have standards and won't sleep with you just because you claim to be looking for a relationship. Or just aren't attracted to you for whatever reason.

lolol. Axe to grind?

 

Just because I dont have as much sex as Id like due to my standards and precautions taken regarding hookups, does not mean Im prude or dont get mine when need be.

 

And Ive only claimed to want a relationship with 2 girls in my life and was in a relationship with those two girls. I dont need to ever lie and tell girls I want a relationship so I can get laid. Im honest about who I want to or not want to date...and I know chicks put out without being exclusive. So why lie?

 

And a chick isnt a prude for not being attracted to me either. Prude is reserved for those girls who are too sexually conservative or just lack sexual energy in general.

[kaylan]

Is it even remotely possible this is all for comedic entertainment? I mean, its not like we have evidence that these guys took the next steps of meeting up with these two uhhh, ladies IRL right? Or maybe the women (if in fact they are women) are making **** up for their own amusement? What do we know for certain here?

 

I remember there was this one bucket of crazy girl in my best friend's neighborhood and the word was she would do anything with anyone. So some of the guys called her one night when we were all hanging out and put her on speaker phone. They asked about coming over and would she be willing to do (outlandish nasty requests; use your imagination) which of course she would say she was down to do. The thing is, none of them ever went over to her house for the things they asked about or anything otherwise. And big surprise, I never met anyone who did. It was always "I heard she and so and so got up to....."

Maybe the most she ever did was mute the phone and laugh her ass off just like the guys who called her than night were doing?

 

Who knows? Maybe I'm just fooling myself here but I'm having a hard time believing your average guy would go for that stuff.

Im pretty sure the dudes messaging those "girls" were trolling them. I dont know any dudes who would even talk to those girls drunk. Sorry but they are that unattractive. Sometimes dudes on OLD sites will do things for laughs.

 

Hell, the Misc has other super long threads someone in that section where one guy flat out trolls unattractive women for sport. He says some outlandish and over the top things to see what he can get away with. And he was getting away with murder. From what I read those chicks either were clueless, took him as a joke, or were happy enough to get attention that they let some of his comments slide.

Edited June 22, 2012 by kaylan

[RedRobin]

Just because I dont have as much sex as Id like due to my standards and precautions taken regarding hookups, does not mean Im prude or dont get mine when need be.

 

Of course. Just calling you out on your double standards regarding women who prefer to wait rather than 'trust' the guy has honest intentions... or to *gasp* get to know the guy first.

 

I refer readers to this thread so they can see your other comments.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/331688-im-so-sick-tired-girls-claiming-all-guys-want-sex

 

And Ive only claimed to want a relationship with 2 girls in my life and was in a relationship with those two girls. I dont need to ever lie and tell girls I want a relationship so I can get laid. Im honest about who I want to or not want to date...and I know chicks put out without being exclusive. So why lie?

 

Good for you. Glad you are staying honest so that the ladies can make the best decisions for themselves.

 

And a chick isnt a prude for not being attracted to me either. Prude is reserved for those girls who are too sexually conservative or just lack sexual energy in general.

 

... and that is the problem. You have no clue about the sexuality or sexual potential of a woman who is not attracted to you.

 

My impression of some of your posts is that you assume that women who prefer to wait (for whatever reason) are 'too sexually conservative or just lack sexual energy in general'. When in reality, you don't know and will never know, because you aren't in a relationship with her and never will be.

 

The best you could really say is that the two of you are not compatible... and for all you know.. she has made the same assessment of you being 'slutty' or 'easy' or 'pump and dump' material as you've made towards women you've come across. And she decided to pass on you because she doesn't like men who have sex (honest or not) with lots of women as a way to find himself or to have his ego stroked.

 

Just sayin'.

[AD1980]

Im pretty sure the dudes messaging those "girls" were trolling them. I dont know any dudes who would even talk to those girls drunk. Sorry but they are that unattractive. Sometimes dudes on OLD sites will do things for laughs.

 

Hell, the Misc has other super long threads someone in that section where one guy flat out trolls unattractive women for sport. He says some outlandish and over the top things to see what he can get away with. And he was getting away with murder. From what I read those chicks either were clueless, took him as a joke, or were happy enough to get attention that they let some of his comments slide.

 

I dont know theyres a lot of desperate thirsty dudes who will bang anything female and breathing

 

Plus one or two of those dudes looked about on the same attractiveness level as those women

[kaylan]

Of course. Just calling you out on your double standards regarding women who prefer to wait rather than 'trust' the guy has honest intentions... or to *gasp* get to know the guy first.

 

I refer readers to this thread so they can see your other comments.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/331688-im-so-sick-tired-girls-claiming-all-guys-want-sex

My double standards? Please quote me and point them out so we can discuss. A woman can wait if she wants...but a guy can bail if he wants. No one, man or woman, wants to sit around twiddling their thumbs because the person their dating doesnt trust them.

 

So please quote me. I never said women were wrong for wanting to wait a while. Ive always said they cant get super pissed if the guy feels hes wasting his time and moves on. Most guys have been lead on or had their time wasted by a chick who wasnt into them in the past. If a chicks keen on waiting, then she needs to make sure she can let the guy know shes def into him.

 

Good for you. Glad you are staying honest so that the ladies can make the best decisions for themselves.

Im honest so both of us can make the best decisions for ourselves. Im honest because I expect them to be honest, so we can move forward amicably. Simple and good.

 

... and that is the problem. You have no clue about the sexuality or sexual potential of a woman who is not attracted to you.

Oh jeez. I dont care about the sexuality of women who arent attracted to me. I wont be having any sexual activity with them...so why the hell would I want a clue? Read what I said again...I am not calling a girl prude for not being attracted to me. If I ever use the term its based on other things.

My impression of some of your posts is that you assume that women who prefer to wait (for whatever reason) are 'too sexually conservative or just lack sexual energy in general'. When in reality, you don't know and will never know, because you aren't in a relationship with her and never will be.

My impression of women who wait much longer than Im willing to, is that we arent sexually compatible. Im bursting with sexual energy, and almost every girl I have been with doesnt last long hooking up with me before with reach the next step. Either we click or we dont. You can tell that during making out and stuff before anything sexual happens.

 

If theres no click, then its all good. But it seems that you keep jumping to the conclusion that women I meet all want relationships before we hook up. Um...no...on a very small few have. Everyone else was just fine and dandy hooking up before any exclusivity was discussed...be it a relationship, or FWB arrangement, or otherwise.

The best you could really say is that the two of you are not compatible... and for all you know.. she has made the same assessment of you being 'slutty' or 'easy' or 'pump and dump' material as you've made towards women you've come across. And she decided to pass on you because she doesn't like men who have sex (honest or not) with lots of women as a way to find himself or to have his ego stroked.

 

Just sayin'.

I have said we are not compatible. You just zero into the parts of my past posts that you dislike, and disregard other info. You keep talking about this assessment being made of me as slutty or easy....lmao....most women Ive hooked up with in any way cant even tell how many women Ive been with. Its a big guessing game that every chick seems to get wrong.

 

Youre acting as if I get in all these situations where Im being turned down for sex when that isnt the case. Its not like every girl I hook up with is screwing me. Sometimes I dont want to have sex...and sometimes they dont...but we sure do have fun doing other things. Im sure you wouldnt be surprised to know that many women are quite fine having fun sexually without intercourse while waiting some time for the main event.

 

So...attraction or my fabled "slutiness" is no issue in my dating life. I can usually tell from kissing a girl, where I can escalate things...or what Ill allow her to escalate things to. I wont label a girl a prude simply if things dont move along in the time frame I want. Theres more to it...like her attitude regarding sex, which I can find out from speaking to her. As well as the energy she gives off to me during any sort of hook up.

Edited June 22, 2012 by kaylan

[viro]

A man has to be a good liar in order for him to survive in this world.

[El Brujo]

A man has to be a good liar in order for him to survive in this world.

 

Never underestimate the value of having a good poker face.

[thatone]

Couldn't hurt.

 

Anyway, it is a huge myth that most men want sex more than most women.

 

Since the stigma for early sex is dropping, it really isn't any big deal that a man can 'get' sex. It only shows what poor taste he has, how little he cares about himself, and most likely... a lack of ability to bond with a woman.

 

None of the above makes him a candidate for a serious relationship if or when he finds he wants one.

 

you almost typed something that everyone can agree on....but you had to go into self contradiction mode on the tail end of it.

 

it is a huge myth, always has been. women want sex just as much as men do, at times even moreso depending on the ages in question.

 

and it's also true that stigmas about sex in general are gradually going away.

 

only problem with the statements above is you had to go into man-hating mode to get your preconceived notions out again and make it all try to fit your man hating/blaming perceptions at the end.

[RedRobin]

you almost typed something that everyone can agree on....but you had to go into self contradiction mode on the tail end of it.

 

it is a huge myth, always has been. women want sex just as much as men do, at times even moreso depending on the ages in question.

 

and it's also true that stigmas about sex in general are gradually going away.

 

only problem with the statements above is you had to go into man-hating mode to get your preconceived notions out again and make it all try to fit your man hating/blaming perceptions at the end.

 

Not sure what you mean be self-contradiction.

 

Being able to have and keep a committed relationship usually requires the person to care about someone else other than themselves... (or, in your case perhaps, at least leave the appearance that they do).

 

Men who have not demonstrated that ability are not candidates for a serious relationship with a woman who cares about fidelity or is concerned about a man's ability to be a partner... as in, the kind of partner who will stick by her as much as she would stick by him.

 

The fact that so many men have gotten away with acting irresponsibly, while expecting women to be the responsible ones (at least sexually) is a function of the fact that, until recently, most women had no choice in order to survive or have children.

 

Since those factors are quickly diminishing, I think you'll find more women caring less about how much a man makes (because she is making her own) and caring more about how he has conducted his life. You know. Character.

 

Expecting 'character' from a man isn't man-hating. In fact, it is the opposite.

 

I know very many men who have the kind of character I describe. They are happily married, or if they aren't, they certainly have had mutually rewarding relationships with women who still respect them... even if it turned out they weren't intended to be married. Oh, and yea. They are having great sex with their partners too. Hmm. Probably has something to do with actually caring about and respecting her (provided there are no other health issues, that is).

 

Your assumptions are remarkably common though. You associate 'jerk' behavior with 'manhood', and anyone who criticizes it, is called a 'man-hater'... as if being a 'man' naturally requires they have sex with lots of women, brag about it, and pretend those bad habits don't carry over into any attempts to maintain a relationship down the road.

 

Sorry, seems to me, YOU and 'men' with your attitudes are the man-haters. If you want to continue to support and promote bad behavior from people who just happen to be male, be my guest.

Edited June 23, 2012 by RedRobin