DuchessKaye Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 Say you are a guy dating a girl for 4 months straight all weekends and you're about to have a talk about having a relationship with her, but all of a sudden she was diagnosed with cancer and she's now going for some theraphy. The treatment may fail or it may be successful. Nobody knows. Would you rather not see her and not waste time with her? Would you just back off and stop pursuing something to make it to the next level?
USMCHokie Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 Oooh...good thread topic...this should be interesting...and we'll get to see who has the cajones to tell the truth... I'd pull the ejection handle and LAUNCH...especially if it's only been 4 months and there's no established relationship... OP, what would you do?
Eternal Sunshine Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 Hmm, since I very rarely feel strong connections with men, if it was a man I felt strongly about, I would stick by him no matter what. I have this unwavering loyalty to people I care about, be it platonic friends, family or boyfriends. Despite how messed up I may seem on the forums, in real life you would seem me sticking by people long after everyone else has left. 6
gaius Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 I'd go through the treatments with her if I was looking for a relationship. If I was unsure or wasn't that into it I'd probably pull a Newt Gingrich. Though I would go visit occasionally and keep in touch, if she was still talking to me. I've been the second wheel through cancer before. It's a lot of work and not pretty. Though it certainly beats being the first wheel. 2
Author DuchessKaye Posted June 21, 2012 Author Posted June 21, 2012 Oooh...good thread topic...this should be interesting...and we'll get to see who has the cajones to tell the truth... I'd pull the ejection handle and LAUNCH...especially if it's only been 4 months and there's no established relationship... OP, what would you do? I know it's good to just live in the moment but it does seem tough emotionally to develop a relationship with someone, only to lose them in the future... I mean, I can't just screw myself over by pursuing a relationship with someone who might die soon but this is the time that they need love and affection, right? And everyone should have a chance at love. What would I do? Honestly... I really don't know... yet... 1
Thierro Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 If both of us can create memorable moments together during her illness, sure I would stick with her. 2
SarahRose Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 id make sure it wasn't a scam first. my friends was scammed this way by a filipina scammer and he bought it hook line and sinker and kept sending her money. another friend was scammed this way by a male nigerian scammer. Anyway my ex husband got cancer and died and even though i was in another country, i tried to be supportive. i flew back for his surgery and slept in the waiting room until after midnight until they said i could go see him in icu. i answered frantic calls in the middle of the night when he fell and couldn't get up and was gasping for oxygen and called the paramedics to help him. i helped handle his estate when he died; the kids mostly but me being supportive and helping. oh and the only thing i took from the estate was a few photos and one of his ties. you see, that is the kind of person i am. with character. i didn't have to do any of this and i wish i could have done more. 1
AlexDP Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 Hmm, since I very rarely feel strong connections with men, if it was a man I felt strongly about, I would stick by him no matter what. I have this unwavering loyalty to people I care about, be it platonic friends, family or boyfriends. Despite how messed up I may seem on the forums, in real life you would seem me sticking by people long after everyone else has left. I think you mistook "very rarely" for "all the time".
Eternal Sunshine Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 I think you mistook "very rarely" for "all the time". Eh you missed about 90% of my threads but whatevs.
Author DuchessKaye Posted June 21, 2012 Author Posted June 21, 2012 Do you have cancer? I'm a cancer survivor
Leigh 87 Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 Oooh...good thread topic...this should be interesting...and we'll get to see who has the cajones to tell the truth... I'd pull the ejection handle and LAUNCH...especially if it's only been 4 months and there's no established relationship... OP, what would you do? Really?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 after 4 months, I liked my bf enough to stick by him. Sure, we may not have a future, but I would stick by him and not leave him, seeing as I liked him a great deal and would not have left him if he were not sick.... If he became very ill, I have my hand to masturbate. I would just stick it out and be there for them. I honestly do not know how after four months, you have never felt close enough to feel compelled to stick by a girl, under those conditions! You know - it would be about THEM and helping them out, and not about you; your not sick, so what is the harm in looking after someone and being there for them? By four months, my boyfriend would have bee devastated if I just .. left, no contact.. or told him " sorry, your dying, I cannot get more attached so I will not get hurt" tsk tsk tsk... 1
Hallo Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 If I was sure she would do the same for me, then ofcourse! Imagine how strong the relationship would be if she actually survived
yongyong Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 If you found a wallet with $10,000 cash, what would you do? (there was no camera, nobody saw) You know what people will say in class discussion? You know how people are going to look at me if I say 'I think I will just use it' You know what people will Actually do in Real situation? You know how dumb it is trusting people's opinion here? For me, I wouldn't spend dime on her to pay the hospital bills. I will eventually get sick of watching her lying on the bed all the time, becoming anorexic. She won't be able to satisfy my sexual desire so that will make me to turn my eyes to other healthy women. bottom line, it's too much baggage to carry and it's not my responsibility.
Andy_K Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 Say you are a guy dating a girl for 4 months straight all weekends and you're about to have a talk about having a relationship with her, but all of a sudden she was diagnosed with cancer and she's now going for some theraphy. The treatment may fail or it may be successful. Nobody knows. Would you rather not see her and not waste time with her? Would you just back off and stop pursuing something to make it to the next level? In my world 4 months means things have gone really well. I would stick around and see how things go. Being in the UK it's not like I would be paying for medical bills anyway, so it's just a question of empathy. Although I will not make similar promises about doing the right thing if I found a large sum of money lying around 1
Emilia Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 Say you are a guy dating a girl for 4 months straight all weekends and you're about to have a talk about having a relationship with her, but all of a sudden she was diagnosed with cancer and she's now going for some theraphy. The treatment may fail or it may be successful. Nobody knows. Would you rather not see her and not waste time with her? Would you just back off and stop pursuing something to make it to the next level? If it was my one before last ex whom I felt a connection with quite quickly, I would have stayed around no matter what even just to support him in case the therapy failed. If it was my last ex whom I ended up disliking after a couple of months I would have moved on. So it depends on the person. 4 months would be enough for me to determine whether I should stick around or not and that would depend solely on our connection, nothing else. I'd rather have time with a great person for 6 months than time with some kind of replacement for years.
Janesays Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 Of course I would stay. I couldn't imagine doing anything else.
Squishy_Belle Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 I think i would have to be in the situation to know what i would do. I always use to say i would never give a cheater a second chance until i was in the situation and then did. Knowing the type of person i am, i think if the person meant so much to me knowing he may day or he could become even more sick through the treatments and stuff would not be an issue and i would stick by his side but like i said i think i would have to be in the situation.
Snakechammah Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 I would stay and love him till the day he leaves me. And if he doesn't die, I would probably smother him so he dies faster (so I can move on, lol) JUST KIDDING!!! Tsk! But again, like someone had mentioned, depending on the connection. If you love the person, you will hold their hand throughout the entire ordeal. If you don't, you run the other direction. If he is fortunate enough to have dated me in the last four months, I would stick by him.
luvinthesun Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 Say you are a guy dating a girl for 4 months straight all weekends and you're about to have a talk about having a relationship with her, but all of a sudden she was diagnosed with cancer and she's now going for some theraphy. The treatment may fail or it may be successful. Nobody knows. Would you rather not see her and not waste time with her? Would you just back off and stop pursuing something to make it to the next level? Well this is what my fiance did... He threw me and his newborn out when I was going thru cancer and needed treatment. Refused to help with baby and said tell baby dad is dead. I had surgery and radiation treatment and am on a high dose of meds so my cancer doesn't return. Oh btw ... dad also had a marriedwoman on the side. Refusrd to sign payernity papers even though our child could have been left an orphan. Dad was my highschool bf I knew a long tome. Met when i was 15. His family also did not help. I still have not received any help from him. He did however claim my child n I on his taxes ... Which went to his adult kids back child support. And i had to fill out all kinds of paperwork for. Now... If a guy even considered leaving me if my cancer came back. We are done. I don't need anyobe like that ...
Els Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 If you found a wallet with $10,000 cash, what would you do? (there was no camera, nobody saw) You know what people will say in class discussion? You know how people are going to look at me if I say 'I think I will just use it' You know what people will Actually do in Real situation? You know how dumb it is trusting people's opinion here? For me, I wouldn't spend dime on her to pay the hospital bills. I will eventually get sick of watching her lying on the bed all the time, becoming anorexic. She won't be able to satisfy my sexual desire so that will make me to turn my eyes to other healthy women. bottom line, it's too much baggage to carry and it's not my responsibility. I was going to kindly inform you that cancer patients aren't anorexic and nobody is required to pay the hospital bills of someone they aren't married to... And then I realized your history of posts and decided not to bother. Point blank, you deserve a girl who is exactly the same as you. And when it is you falling ill with a potentially terminal disease, I hope the girl says these exact same lines to you, I really do. Young people get cancer too, y'know. It isn't about 'cameras watching you'. Who the hell cares if there's someone watching you. I think anyone who leaves someone whom they were already in a good relationship with (not just 'seeing casually' - but oops, have you ever gotten past that part?), just because they fell ill, is selfish and completely lacking in empathy, full stop. It means that you completely lack the ability to put yourself in their position. Of course, if you don't mind the thought of the person you thought you loved leaving you immediately upon a diagnosis... then go ahead. For me, it isn't a 'waste of time' spending time with someone I love, especially if it's going to be the last few years of THEIR life. I think anyone who puts sex above the welfare of someone they 'love' is not capable of genuine love and deserves to die alone at the end of their miserable lives. I also think the poster who made the thread about the 'bubble man' and his wife should read this thread and formulate his own opinions from the ratio of men:women yes-nay answers here. 3
Eternal Sunshine Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 Well this is what my fiance did... He threw me and his newborn out when I was going thru cancer and needed treatment. Refused to help with baby and said tell baby dad is dead. I had surgery and radiation treatment and am on a high dose of meds so my cancer doesn't return. Oh btw ... dad also had a marriedwoman on the side. Refusrd to sign payernity papers even though our child could have been left an orphan. Dad was my highschool bf I knew a long tome. Met when i was 15. His family also did not help. I still have not received any help from him. He did however claim my child n I on his taxes ... Which went to his adult kids back child support. And i had to fill out all kinds of paperwork for. Now... If a guy even considered leaving me if my cancer came back. We are done. I don't need anyobe like that ... Unfortunately, this is not a rare story. I have volunteered briefly at a cancer ward of my local hospital few years back. There are tons of men and women that left their (sometimes very long term) partners when going got tough. That depressed me more than cancer itself
Snakechammah Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 Well this is what my fiance did... He threw me and his newborn out when I was going thru cancer and needed treatment. Refused to help with baby and said tell baby dad is dead. I had surgery and radiation treatment and am on a high dose of meds so my cancer doesn't return. Oh btw ... dad also had a marriedwoman on the side. Refusrd to sign payernity papers even though our child could have been left an orphan. Dad was my highschool bf I knew a long tome. Met when i was 15. His family also did not help. I still have not received any help from him. He did however claim my child n I on his taxes ... Which went to his adult kids back child support. And i had to fill out all kinds of paperwork for. Now... If a guy even considered leaving me if my cancer came back. We are done. I don't need anyobe like that ... What a jerk!! What goes around will surely come back around. You're better off without him! I hope your recovery is going well. Do take care. HUGS! 1
luvinthesun Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 What a jerk!! What goes around will surely come back around. You're better off without I hope your recovery is going well. Do take care. HUGS! We are hanging in there. I. Real tired a lot of time and few things but cancer good. We are sp much better off without him. He is no father ... Partner ... Friend. I hope he and woman are always in good health ... Yes. It is common. I call it a John Edwards ... Except I was the one with the baby to take care of. Hard with limited money and i could not be around baby with radiation treatment I had. Hard. I never looked for anything from him but help with baby and hugs...
Recommended Posts