Philosoraptor Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 So this is apparently why you don't recreate your facebook after you've deleted it. Shortly after making it came the "poke" which I ignored. A few hours later came a text for the first time in months. Here was the original thread for reference: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/323278-not-any-easier-side Situation is she wants to try again and I have no desire to. We were a bad match and it would never work, but it just hurts to have to say the same things I said before. The last thing I want to do is bring any pain to someone. Anyways I wished her the best and let her know that continued contact would only bring more pain. I want nothing but the best for her but that's not me. I'd still rather have my heart broken than be on this side of it. No worse feeling than knowing you're hurting someone. Any wisdom regarding the best option if she decides to contact me again?
xpaperxcutx Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 Just ignore herf. Your final options would be tol block her on fb and change your number. It may seem cruel but better to cut her off completely than give her pity contact. 1
denise_xo Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 So this is apparently why you don't recreate your facebook after you've deleted it. Shortly after making it came the "poke" which I ignored. A few hours later came a text for the first time in months. Here was the original thread for reference: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/323278-not-any-easier-side Situation is she wants to try again and I have no desire to. We were a bad match and it would never work, but it just hurts to have to say the same things I said before. The last thing I want to do is bring any pain to someone. Anyways I wished her the best and let her know that continued contact would only bring more pain. I want nothing but the best for her but that's not me. I'd still rather have my heart broken than be on this side of it. No worse feeling than knowing you're hurting someone. Any wisdom regarding the best option if she decides to contact me again? I think you dealt with it in the best way possible through the bolded. If she can't respect that and contacts you again, just ignore her (and perhaps block her on FB).
Paigey Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 After reading your past thread, i have to agree with everyone on here, you have been incredibly brave and even though she doesn't realise it, you are protecting her from more hurt, which is obvious in the way you write that is not your intention. If it were me i would just state how you feel to her and reinforce that you do not want to cause her any more pain and that you haven't changed your mind. From being on the side of someone ignoring me the last few weeks it makes it so much worse when you do receive a reply as I believe its never what you want to hear anyway but at least it offers no false pretences, so if she continues to try to make contact state that it is not what you want for one last time, and then consider the option of blocking her. You need time to heal yourself and she needs that too. Best of luck and know that you are the best type of person as you can own up to the fact that's its not what you want and you're not stringing anyone along. Good luck and take care.
TaraMaiden Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 Don't you also have a new young lady on your arm? It might be honest to tell your ex- you've moved on and have no intention on taking a backward step. I'd also be honest and tell your new partner that your ex- just made an effort to get back with you.... If it comes out of the dirt-pile later, she will wonder why you kept it from her.... Maybe? just thinking out loud, but you know best here, how things may fall....
esteem-jam Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 If you BLOCK her now, without explaining anything- it will send her spiraling and into furious state and analysing. I must say she must have balls as a dumpee to send a poke and contact you. Or she is absolutely devastated and has no self worth. Do not simply block her, she will perceive it as disrespecting. Explain yourself. I agree what Paigey wrote, and this: If it were me i would just state how you feel to her and reinforce that you do not want to cause her any more pain and that you haven't changed your mind.
tryingtodiscoveranew Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 I would like to add to this thread by saying, stand firmly by your decision. In a respectful way let her know how you feel and that you will be initiating NC in order to heal and eliminate any confusion. I was the dumper in my situation as well. And because I could not stand to see her in pain, I went back several times. Until finally, she stop taking me back. Then I became the dumpee, and have spent 8 years chasing, analyzing, strategizing, trying to heal, off & on NC and dating her...only to bring me right back to my original conclusion...''she is not the one for me''! Don't give her any openings....
Author Philosoraptor Posted June 20, 2012 Author Posted June 20, 2012 I think she understood. She responded to me saying continued conversation would only bring more pain with "It honestly doesn't but ok". No contact since and I don't expect anything further. I know from glancing at her page and from what my family has told me (still facebook friends after I ditched mine) that she was putting on a brave front there to save face. No response from me as she said "ok". I truly wish her the best and we really were good friends, it's just not the right time for her to reestablish contact. Tara, I plan on being honest so no worries there Thanks for the advice and kind words all.
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