Surfer203 Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 In real life, I have no trouble meeting new women - generally, I will put in a miniscule amount of effort and am able to get into a conversation and get a woman's number. I have yet to find some one special since not being with my Ex-Wife. So, I have had a OKCupid account up just for the hell of it. I get some responses on there but don't really message many women there. The few I have "met" have seemed interested at first and then fizzle pretty quickly. I am scratching my head because in real life I am able to "shine" and show who I am but on there I really can't give people a sense of me accurately (and I am awesome. ) - What am I doing wrong, what should I be doing? Dating has been discouraging since things ended with the Ex-Wife. Sometimes I feel I should just give up and the right women will come to me by chance but I can't help but want to hunt for her.
MooBear Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 Combine the two. Go speed dating Allows you to be there in person so you can be your charming self, but also gives you the opportunity to meet up to 20 women in one night
oldshirt Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 In real life, I have no trouble meeting new women - Then why on Earth are you wasting time sitting on your butt in front of a computer when you could be out there meeting real flesh and blood people in the real, physical world????????????????????????????????????????? When people write asking for advice on how to increase their success with online dating I want to just shout from the rooftops that the best way to get success is to take the time and energy that you use in OLD and put it into getting out and doing real things in the real world. If you have success in the real world then OLD is just shifting your time and energy into the make believe world of cyber space. Shift it back to the real world and enjoy your real successes.
KathyM Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 Well, I'm a believer in OLD, since many people I know have met their spouse or SO through OLD. I don't think you should give up on that, but you should be using other avenues to meet women as well, such as suggesting to friends that if they know someone who would be good to date, to let you know. Also, socializing in real life, going to singles events, and getting involved in a variety of things where you will come in contact with women is all good. I can't possibly know what you are doing wrong in OLD to not spark an interest. Are you positive and upbeat in your messages? Do you show interest and enthusiasm for what she does and says? Do you suggest meeting early on? Most women do not want to get into penpal status with a guy--they want things to progress. Suggest meeting up for coffee after she first responds back. Then your RL persona can take it from there. And above all, don't drone on about your past failed relationships, and don't be negative or trash talk your ex or anyone else. That will be an immediate turn off for most people.
FitChick Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 OLD works best for attractive people who write well enough to encourage someone to contact them when they might otherwise not. As in life, there is no one way of doing things. Try everything and see which works best for you. How long have you been divorced? It could be that no one wants to be your rebound relationship. Might you be sounding a bit desperate and afraid to be alone?
Bob_Funk Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 The fact that you can even get dates from online tells me you're well above average. I'm about a 6.5 in looks and have tried to make contact with every girl in the 4-7 range from my city. Of the last 250 girls I've messaged, not a single one would go on a date with me. What will it take for guys to learn that online dating is an absolute waste of time?
MrCastle Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 OLD is not set up for an average man (both in looks and personality) to win. If you have no problem meeting women in the real world, stick to that. Odds are anything you find in the real world will be better anyway
Author Surfer203 Posted June 25, 2012 Author Posted June 25, 2012 Thanks all for the repsonses. Actually went on my first date yesterday from a woman I met on OLD. She is great - went on a long 4 hour hike. Not a bad experience at all! I am with you though, I would prefer to meet a keeper in real life but not willing to shut out the options that OLD may give me. The divorce thing has yet to phase any of the women I have met and since I have been not with my ex I have met about 12+ women.
Emilia Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 I was like you OP, I had OLD profiles to help me cast the net wider. I thought it was a good way to meet men additionally to the ones I meet in real life. What I found however was that to get enough prospects online, I would have needed to spend much more time on the Internet in the evenings than I was willing to. I'm usually busy after work with various activities and social arrangements so I find building connections in real life works much better for me and I'm sticking with that.
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