In2theblue Posted June 18, 2012 Posted June 18, 2012 Soooo I was engaged, and my fiancé cheated on me after 5 yrs together and we broke up. Anyways my ex's best friend has been "there for me" thru all of this. But anyways his best friend and I have always got a long great. I've known him for about 6 yrs and he always seemed like my brother ... Until recently I don't know what happened but it kinda seems like there is A switch that went off and maybe some sexual tension between us. We've kinda hinted to each other that us getting together would be super 90210 of us lol but now I'm not totally that off on the idea.. We r both in the same place in life.. His gf cheated on him about a month ago.... I'm aware he could be on the rebound as in the past he seemed to jump from one to the other...I don't want to be the rebound girl. Although he keeps coming to me for support and constantly saying how he def does not wanna get back with his ex. I can't blame a guy for his past? I know all his magic tricks so to speak and they aren't fooling me.. We all have one. And I'm not the jealous type. But for some reason it just feels different.. Maybe because we've been friends or so long? I dont know.. I kno alot of judgements will be that I am plotting a revenge against my cheating ex (lol we broke up 10months ago!) but that really isn't it at all. This new guy has even mentioned to my ex that we hang out and I'm sure my ex could care less... Just as I could care less about what he does... I just don't know if his friend is into me like that even tho the signs are there. Uhh I just dont know what the rules are for this situation... All of ur opinions or suggestions are greatly appreciated!
veggirl Posted June 18, 2012 Posted June 18, 2012 I wouldn't do it just because I personally wouldn't want to be put in situations where I am going to have to interact with a cheating ex, and I'd assume dating his friend would put you in those situations. If you're fine with that though, then I guess go for it--you don't owe your ex anything, esp considering he cheated on you. Yes though, this best friend is probably on the rebound, being just a month out of a relationship, so I wouldn't be expecting too much. 1
mortensorchid Posted June 18, 2012 Posted June 18, 2012 Do you want to be in an awkward situation? Because you will be if you do this. I knew a few gals who got into said situations during high school and college. Today? I guess it happens, but maybe people keep it more under wraps post educational careers. I would be wary for the fact that there was a girl I knew back in college who seemed to think little to nothing of being passed around by the football team. "Oh they don't mind" she'd tell me if and when she would bounce from one guy to another. All the while she did not seem to mind the fact that she was building a rep as being the "easy lay" among the football team at parties. It was really rather sad, she wanted to be liked so badly that she let them do these things. Not that you are in said same boat, but consider what will happen if your ex fiance finds out about you and his friend.
gaius Posted June 18, 2012 Posted June 18, 2012 Might as well go for it. I doubt you will have to deal with them being friends after your ex finds out his friend is dating you, which is fine. The friend seems to have made his choice.
Author In2theblue Posted June 19, 2012 Author Posted June 19, 2012 So we discussed it.. He thinks he wouldn't be able to do that to his friend and I mean I don't wana ruin a friendship but at the same time I feel like this "wtf my ex left me to be with another girl.. Y would he be pissed that I'd date his best friend?" really... I dont think it's a jealousy thing obviously my ex got Over me by getting under someone else. And ya I agree his friend seems like he's on a rebound. It just sucks that my ex is such a douche but that his friend can be so loyal to him rather than to me. So now we haven't even started and it's already ended. Guess we'll never kno what could have been. Life's so unfair.
Pfiend101 Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 I think you honestly secretly wanna get back at your ex and dont want to admit it. Just my opinion. Stay away you shouldn't be anywhere near your ex. Find someone else. 1
Author In2theblue Posted June 19, 2012 Author Posted June 19, 2012 I don't want to get back with my ex at all.. I just think its familiar and I miss my old friends.. Why should I not be able to hang with my friends just cuz they know my ex.
veggirl Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 Well that's what happens with messy break ups. Mutual friends usually end up "choosing a side" so to speak...and generally they go back to the person they were friends with before the relationship started. So it makes sense the the best friend is loyal to his friend, not to you. What your ex did to you has no bearing on his friendships with other people--my best friend has cheated and I was never going to stop being her friend because of that, nor would I choose her bf over her, ever.
luvinthesun Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 Soooo I was engaged, and my fiancé cheated on me after 5 yrs together and we broke up. Anyways my ex's best friend has been "there for me" thru all of this. But anyways his best friend and I have always got a long great. I've known him for about 6 yrs and he always seemed like my brother ... Until recently I don't know what happened but it kinda seems like there is A switch that went off and maybe some sexual tension between us. We've kinda hinted to each other that us getting together would be super 90210 of us lol but now I'm not totally that off on the idea.. We r both in the same place in life.. His gf cheated on him about a month ago.... I'm aware he could be on the rebound as in the past he seemed to jump from one to the other...I don't want to be the rebound girl. Although he keeps coming to me for support and constantly saying how he def does not wanna get back with his ex. I can't blame a guy for his past? I know all his magic tricks so to speak and they aren't fooling me.. We all have one. And I'm not the jealous type. But for some reason it just feels different.. Maybe because we've been friends or so long? I dont know.. I kno alot of judgements will be that I am plotting a revenge against my cheating ex (lol we broke up 10months ago!) but that really isn't it at all. This new guy has even mentioned to my ex that we hang out and I'm sure my ex could care less... Just as I could care less about what he does... I just don't know if his friend is into me like that even tho the signs are there. Uhh I just dont know what the rules are for this situation... All of ur opinions or suggestions are greatly appreciated! My advice would be to both of u to leave time in betweenrelatiobshops... and to go.out after x amount of time with someone else... at least first. Hths.
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