Honore Posted June 18, 2012 Posted June 18, 2012 I've been with my GF for 5 months. We haven't gotten to spend anytime together since we starting dating because she has such bad anxiety. We Skype almost every night and text, but that's it. As you can imagine it's very hard. She has terrible anxiety and PTSD, and based on her past she has EVERY right to be that way. With out going into detail, she was sexually abused as a child, then raped by a boyfriend and his friends. I really love her, but this is really hard. I seriously think I could marry her (I'm 25), she's perfect for me. But not being able to see her is hell. And not getting any physical attention (cuddling, hugging, kissing, etc.) isn't easy either. I have talked to her about how hard it is not seeing her, and she says she's trying as hard as she can to deal with the anxiety. She's on medications and in therapy. I've been thinking about taking a break until she is ready, or breaking up until she is ready. I've talked to her about both, she doesn't like either option. She doesn't think either option would help, because she can't stand the thought of me hooking up with someone else or getting in a relationship with someone else. I love her, a lot. I've never felt this way about a woman before. But I feel like we're at a dead end. I don't want to be with her for years and never get to actually be with her. I don't know what to do at this point. I ask my friends/family about it but they all say to find someone else.
Chi townD Posted June 18, 2012 Posted June 18, 2012 dude, if you love her as much as you say you love her, then breaking up wouldn't be an option for you. You would do your damnest to FIND a way that works for the both of you. Not "throw in the towel" on the girl you say you want to spend the rest of your life with.
Philosoraptor Posted June 18, 2012 Posted June 18, 2012 You can't live your life within the confines of someone else's issues. Why haven't you seen her in 5 months? Why can't you visit her and spend time with her at her place if her anxiety is keeping her in? Your friends and family would be right. You do need to find someone who you can spend time with as you can't get to know someone any other way. I don't care how much you skype, you never get to fully know someone with being able to see them and touch them.
Author Honore Posted June 18, 2012 Author Posted June 18, 2012 dude, if you love her as much as you say you love her, then breaking up wouldn't be an option for you. You would do your damnest to FIND a way that works for the both of you. Not "throw in the towel" on the girl you say you want to spend the rest of your life with. I have been trying to find a way for months. I can't have a relationship if she can't even see me.
Author Honore Posted June 18, 2012 Author Posted June 18, 2012 You can't live your life within the confines of someone else's issues. Why haven't you seen her in 5 months? Why can't you visit her and spend time with her at her place if her anxiety is keeping her in? Your friends and family would be right. You do need to find someone who you can spend time with as you can't get to know someone any other way. I don't care how much you skype, you never get to fully know someone with being able to see them and touch them. I haven't seen her because of her anxiety. We have tried a hundred times to try and see each other but she can't. Because of her anxiety, she can't let me into her apartment. The reason I've stuck around so long is because I love her.
Chi townD Posted June 18, 2012 Posted June 18, 2012 Well, then if you came on here for someone to tell you to break up with her, then fine. Break up with her. BUT, you have to follow through with the break up. You are not friends. I'm sure that you didn't get into a loving and caring relationship with the end result being nothing more that friends. So, you cannot be friends while you two still have feelings for each other. That's not fair to either of you. If you break up with her, it's because you decided that you want her out of your life. You are firing her from the position of being your girlfriend. She is out. Therefore, you need to block her from facebook and not take any of her calls or texts. And you won't respond to any e-mails. Remember, she WAS your girlfriend, now she isn't. She nothing to you now and you don't owe her anything. So, don't lead her on or fill her up with false hope by staying in communication with her. That's not fair to her. She needs to heal and find a guy that's going to make her happy. She won't be able to find that guy if she's still hung up on you. So, there ya go! Good luck!
Recommended Posts