Mary Shadows Posted June 17, 2012 Posted June 17, 2012 Okay, so I've had some bad dating experiences. I feel like most of them were driven by lust. So, that brings me to why I am posting this thread. I met this guy who works at the gym I go to. He recently started talking to me, and asking me questions about myself. He asks about my ethnicity, my tattoos, my vegan lifestyle, the weather, and for the second week in a row--he's asked what my plans are for the rest of the day. He is by far the sweetest guy I've come across. As I've gotten older, my standards have changed. I want someone who treats me with respect and kindness. No guy that I've dated has ever asked me questions or seemed interested in who I am. I feel silly, at 24, to not know the sure signs if a guy is interested for my heart, or my body. So men, women too--If a man asks questions about you and what your plans are--is that an indirect way of asking for a date? FYI: I have had plans the last two times he's asked. I am interested in him, so, how should I handle this? He is a bit shy, and quite as well.
Philosoraptor Posted June 17, 2012 Posted June 17, 2012 He seems interested. If he's shy why not take the lead and ask him what his plans are?
Author Mary Shadows Posted June 17, 2012 Author Posted June 17, 2012 He seems interested. If he's shy why not take the lead and ask him what his plans are? I don't want to be too forward, if he is just being friendly. What is the difference?
Feelsgoodman Posted June 17, 2012 Posted June 17, 2012 He tried to ask you out twice, each time you had plans. If you're constantly busy, he might get the idea you're not interested.
Author Mary Shadows Posted June 18, 2012 Author Posted June 18, 2012 He tried to ask you out twice, each time you had plans. If you're constantly busy, he might get the idea you're not interested. I truly had no idea that was what he was trying to do. He just seemed friendly to me. I guess, because of my past relationships, I can't gauge a level of interest--true interest. I am interested, but my life is super full. Should I mention that I am free this week?
mortensorchid Posted June 18, 2012 Posted June 18, 2012 If you are interested in him, tell him that this is an incredibly busy time for you, but you would be free as of (date). If he agrees, then it's good for you both.
Philosoraptor Posted June 18, 2012 Posted June 18, 2012 I don't want to be too forward, if he is just being friendly. What is the difference? Blah blah. If you're interested you go for it. Worst that can happen is you get turned down.
maybealone Posted June 18, 2012 Posted June 18, 2012 You don't have to ask him out. But the next time he asks, either be free and say something like, "I have no plans for the rest of the day. How about you?" or, if you are busy, tell him what you have going and say something like, "I am looking forward to Thursday when I finally have some free time." That gives him a bigger opening to asking you out. I don't know for sure, but I am guessing it is harder for guys to ask someone out when that someone is a customer. They don't want you to feel uncomfortable there if they ask you out and you are not interested. So giving him a bigger opening would be good.
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