iEmly Posted June 17, 2012 Posted June 17, 2012 Before I start, I am not interested in responses telling me I am too young or I don't know what love is etc. I may be young but I feel that I have experienced true emotions and the reason I have posted here and not some 'teen' forum is because I want informed advice. Fair enough if you are of the opinion that I am too young etc, I just don't want to hear it here, trust me I've heard it enough. So basically me and my boyfriend of 6 years got together when I was 12 and he was 13. Obviously we didn't enter the relationship thinking it was long term, we were just kids having fun. 5 years in after we finished school he joined the army while I went to college which i have now finished. I clearly stayed and supported him through that, although there was a time when we didn't see each other for a year we constantly talked and texted. I think that was the point when we really grew stronger as a couple, he grew up, as did I. We regularly said 'I love you' to each other and it was defiantly true on my part. So recently since the beginning of the year we have had three arguments all resulting in break ups initiated by him.. one was that we were boring as a couple and I honestly can't remember the other. We cautiously got back together each time in attempts to make it work. This third argument that we had a week and 2 days ago, sparking the break up that I am now referring too. We planned all week that he would come back from the army for a weekend, as I was home alone in my house. About an hour before he planned to leave he sent me a text saying something like 'baby, I'm not coming back i'm gonna stay this week'. His reasoning was that he had no money to come back on, even though i had offered to finance it with petrol and food money. He said he would come back the following weekend, but i wouldn't be able to see him due to exams in the week. So i called him after receiving the text and me being someone who has a temper, got pretty angry at him, as i felt he wasn't considering me, didn't want to see me, and was letting me down. He argued back that i was crazy, and he couldn't deal with me therefore broke up with me. Ten minutes after the argument i regretted it and tried to say sorry. The only response I have had from him since then is 'stop talking to me' or '**** off' etc. he claims to have no feelings for me and says he never loved me. What i don't understand is how he could call me baby just moments before breaking up or why we as a couple couldn't just argue then move on or make some kind of a agreement. We broke up on the friday, the previous monday he told me he wanted matching tattoos and then on the wednesday we had sex. I feel quite used. Do you think he'll change his mind? Do you think if he does change his mind will it work and I should try again? I desperately love him and would do anything for him. Is it the case that we are simply not mature enough to handle this type of relationship? And why did he break up with me the way he did?
Philosoraptor Posted June 17, 2012 Posted June 17, 2012 I wont comment on ages here but he said what he said. When someone is contemplating a breakup they often go back and forth between strong emotions. You will hear things about marriage and children, what seems like concrete plans, just the day before they drop the bomb. From everything you wrote it seems pretty obvious he's been thinking about this for awhile and finally made his choice. I can't tell the future but you should work on yourself and healing as if you'll never be with him again.
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