I was doing so well...

[LilThalie]

My ex and I broke up exactly 3 weeks ago. And while I was pretty sad the first couple of days and cried a lot, I felt better quite soon. I put all the stuff that reminded me of him in a box which made me feel really good. He wanted to be friends but I told him that I needed my time.

 

It was long distance and the thought that I might not see this guy ever again, leaves me feeling numb. He told me I was everything he was looking for in a girlfriend but that he couldn’t handle the distance. That he either missed me too much so that it hurt or not enough so that he was worried whether he was loosing sight of me. It’s less than a year until we could have bridged the distance and I felt so hurt and disappointed that he couldn’t work up the strength to make it through that with me. But I also understood that I wouldn't want to be with somebody who doesn’t have the courage to put up with the difficulties and uncertainties of a long distance relationship to be with me.

 

Now, I tried my best to move on and I felt so good. I mean I miss him but I also felt so relieved that I could plan my future alone, that I wouldn't have to keep him in mind when choosing where to continue my studies because he wouldn't leave his hometown because of his mother's illness.

 

Yet it's hard for me. He is contacting me about once a week, he's still using the nickname he gave me and he's reminding me of things and events that where special for us. I answer politely but don't encourage further conversation which he seems to respect. I know there's no possibility to get back together, and it's still way too early to be friends. So, communication is only setting me back. But I'm doing fine, I have a lot of fun with my friends, and I'm really enjoying planning my future, studying is going really well, the weather is nice. So all seemes headed in the right direction. Then I was at a friend's birthday party on Wednesday and had a nice conversation with a guy there. I didn't read much into it but he got my number from a mutual friend and he asked me out. Now I feel crushed, thoughts of my ex came flooding back and I just so wish it was him texting me.

 

Now I'm strong enough to stick with no contact and I'm definitely not going on a date with the other guy since I'm not ready for something new yet. But since I was doing so well, it's just so much harder for me to accept that something so minor affects me in such a way.

[k100danny]

It is the small things that sometimes ping at your heart strings. I am in the early stages of a break up and whilst walking to the shops today i walked past a restaurant we used to go to very often and saw the manager walking inside. This tore me to pieces because just before my ex left on her travels we went there for a meal and she said jokingly to him " please make sure he doesnt bring any other girls in while i am away" he said he looks too smart for that you are a wonderful couple. This little thought nearly made me breakdown in public. hold strong

[Jono85]

My ex and I broke up exactly 3 weeks ago. And while I was pretty sad the first couple of days and cried a lot, I felt better quite soon. I put all the stuff that reminded me of him in a box which made me feel really good. He wanted to be friends but I told him that I needed my time.

 

It was long distance and the thought that I might not see this guy ever again, leaves me feeling numb. He told me I was everything he was looking for in a girlfriend but that he couldn’t handle the distance. That he either missed me too much so that it hurt or not enough so that he was worried whether he was loosing sight of me. It’s less than a year until we could have bridged the distance and I felt so hurt and disappointed that he couldn’t work up the strength to make it through that with me. But I also understood that I wouldn't want to be with somebody who doesn’t have the courage to put up with the difficulties and uncertainties of a long distance relationship to be with me.

 

Now, I tried my best to move on and I felt so good. I mean I miss him but I also felt so relieved that I could plan my future alone, that I wouldn't have to keep him in mind when choosing where to continue my studies because he wouldn't leave his hometown because of his mother's illness.

 

Yet it's hard for me. He is contacting me about once a week, he's still using the nickname he gave me and he's reminding me of things and events that where special for us. I answer politely but don't encourage further conversation which he seems to respect. I know there's no possibility to get back together, and it's still way too early to be friends. So, communication is only setting me back. But I'm doing fine, I have a lot of fun with my friends, and I'm really enjoying planning my future, studying is going really well, the weather is nice. So all seemes headed in the right direction. Then I was at a friend's birthday party on Wednesday and had a nice conversation with a guy there. I didn't read much into it but he got my number from a mutual friend and he asked me out. Now I feel crushed, thoughts of my ex came flooding back and I just so wish it was him texting me.

 

Now I'm strong enough to stick with no contact and I'm definitely not going on a date with the other guy since I'm not ready for something new yet. But since I was doing so well, it's just so much harder for me to accept that something so minor affects me in such a way.

 

i'm also 3 weeks post breakup, 3 weeks next tuesday NC. don't have much time now, but i just wanted to say i can totally relate. ours was semi-long distance (only 2 hours) and she just gave up on me/us. I stuck with her through a lot over the past year, when she was acting like a little insecure needy b*tch at times, and for the last month of our relationship it was me turning insecure/needy, and i guess that was enough for me not to be worth her time for a LD relationship anymore. it really really sucks. she was the one who made me believe i was her dream guy. she was the one who's feelings were always way ahead of mine. until mine caught up, and i started telling her/expressing to her everything she'd been getting mad at me for so long for not saying, and it seems that's when things started to go down hill. weird. ah well.

 

hang in there. personally i'm strict NC. i couldn't bare talk to her unless she wanted to be with me.

[VandelayInd]

Same... 2 hr long distance... her feelings way ahead of mine, mine caught up and now Im old news... it was 3 weeks yesterday NC... I was doing bad week 1 then on week 2 feeling pretty good actually and now as soon as week 3 hit it was like a ton of bricks back on me almost as bad as week 1. Lost...

[LilThalie]

Thanks for your replies, it's good to not be alone in such a situation.

 

Sometimes I'm just puzzled that this is the same guy who told me I would never care for him as much as he cared for me. Well yeah, doesn't look much like that anymore. Looking back I probably should have noticed that going long distance was much harder on him than he expected. And much easier for me than I expected which probably left him feel quite insecure but it was just because I'm incredibly busy at school while he's working a part-time job and doesn't do much else other than hanging out with his brothers and friends. It all started out by him asking me how he was supposed to make it through the time apart if he missed me this much after such a short time. Back then, I thought that was kinda cute, now it has a whole new meaning. I realized that the frequency of him telling me how hard it was on him increased with time. I probably should have seen it coming. And I did but I was also in denial. And I still had so many ideas how to make things better for us. And all he had to contribute was that he thought it was better to break up now than trying to work through things without the guarantee that it would work and then get hurt. He even turned off his webcam and when I asked him to please show me the respect and turn it back on, he just said he didn't want me to see him that way.