vanek26 Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 The biggest challenge in online dating isn't getting a girl to respond, it's getting her to meet you in person. I've found that no matter what, girls are just naturally resistant to meeting up in person. When you suggest it, they will rattle off every believable excuse to get out of it. So are they just in it for the ego boost? Or is there a certain technique us guys can use to get more of them to agree. My motto is, 'at least give me a chance to fail.' If I meet a girl and she isn't into me... that's fine. I tried. But if she won't even let me meet up, I'm left wondering what could have been. Let's use this thread as a sounding board for ideas on how to combat this problem. I've been doing online dating for over two years and have a lot of experience with it. I've slept with at least ten girls I met online and hooked up with twice as many. But probably 90% of the girls who give me their number never actually meet me. It's maddening. Let me tell you a story to put this in perspective: There was a girl I talked to online who absolutely refused to meet up. She always had an excuse. Then one day we ran into each other at the mall by random chance. Later that night, we were ****ing. It's all about getting them to meet you. If you can do that, you have a chance! 1
Author vanek26 Posted June 14, 2012 Author Posted June 14, 2012 I always try to suggest meeting people within a few days of talking to them online. The reason is, even if you try to spend weeks and weeks talking to them, they will STILL make an excuse and avoid meeting you. So it's best to waste as little time as necessary. Usually I will ask them to go out for coffee. It's low pressure, low risk, and doesn't take a lot of time. Also, it can literally be done at any time so it gives girls less of a chance to be 'too busy' (although most will act as if they don't have 15 minutes to spare in the next month) The fine line is being aggressive in meeting them (because you absolutely need to take initiative) without seeming desperate. For example, let's say a girl texts me the day we are supposed to meet and says 'I'm sorry. I got called into work!' Of course, they are most likely lying, but if you call them out on it then you will anger them. So, do I suggest meeting up after they get out of work that night? Or will it reek of desperation?
salparadise Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 So, do I suggest meeting up after they get out of work that night? Or will it reek of desperation? Once they agree to meet it's just a matter of scheduling. Reschedule immediately, you take the initiative, and if they start back peddling again just move on to the next one. When I was doing the OLD thing I put in my profile that I had no interest in extended emailing and would want to meet as soon as we determined if there was interest. Some of them really do just try and keep a bunch of guys busy emailing and messaging. One way you can tell is short responses. If your write paragraphs and ask questions in an effort to create rapport, and they reply with no more than a sentence or two, they're probably working 10 guys at once.
FitChick Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 When somebody "flakes," it just means they aren't attracted enough to meet you. They hope you'll get the hint when they keep stalling you.
irc333 Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 When somebody "flakes," it just means they aren't attracted enough to meet you. They hope you'll get the hint when they keep stalling you. Not likely, it's really just an ego boost or they're probably married or have a boyfriend that's hasn't been paying attention to them. I always try to suggest meeting people within a few days of talking to them online. Then, if you do that, they'll say, "It's too soon, I prefer we talk on here more" If you go along with that, THEN they'll give you those excuses, it's a loose/loose situation.
FitChick Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 it's a loose/loose situation. Actually, it sounds more like a lose/lose situation.
Feelsgoodman Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 Actually, it sounds more like a lose/lose situation. It is certainly a very loose situation...
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