username70 Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 My bf of nearly a year had an issue with my Facebook in the beginning- wanted me to delete all non- related males. Now mind you- some were my former neighbors- old ... some were distant cousins- etc. BF refuised to add me to his facebook saying he doent add people he is dating/has dated/gf etc. That it causes problems cause he sees posts fdrom guys- now how he knows that since he says he never adds gfs- I donno. I end up deleting my FB cause it just isnt worth any problems. I only used it fro family/nrighbors to keep up with kids. They have their own. Then I notice on his FB that a girl had same name as his ex- which isnt too hard to figure that it is his ex- someone with a long rap sheet- drugs/dui- driving suspended- assault on his family member- and she is wanted come to find out ... I ask him about her- and he says he must have added soem unknown girl- that he has no clue who that is ... I tell him I know the truth- that he is lying. A week later- he says he will delete whoever that girl is- since it is causing me problems. FINALLY admits later that he lied- so what. Well months later- I still think it is shady- and he has added other people to his FB- cant see all his posts/pics- private. We went to a movie premire last week- my first. He had me take pics oh him next to the poster and in the T-shirt I made him. Sat down and he started posting it to his FB- saying outloud what he was typing. No mention of me/tshirt- just that he was there. Am I stupid or is this rude- shady? Do u think its normal to not be on your SO FB?
d'Arthez Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 I am not into FB, but what is good for the gander is good for the goose. The double standards either reek of insecurity on his part, or even worse. I would not even be surprised if you are just one of his girlfriends. 1
Pianiste Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 I've just replied to your other topic but am flabbergasted there are even more negative points to this guy than you've already pointed out in your other thread! My only advice is to leave him. He's an inconsiderate prick. P.S. You know the answer to the questions you've asked in both threads, no, it's not normal. And no, his behaviour wont change.
kiss_andmakeup Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 Your boyfriend is a dick. The explanation is rather obvious: he wants you to delete all male friends because he's worried about you flirting with them. He's worried about this because he himself flirts with girls on his Facebook, which is why he refuses to add you, post pictures of you, or mention you. To be honest, neither the BF or I have had facebooks for the duration of our 1+ year relationship...we both deleted them prior to meeting each other. And I am honestly so glad that we don't. They cause so much unnecessary drama. But Facebook or no Facebook, your boyfriend is a douche. 2
mtber75 Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 Your BF is a insecure little prick! You should dump the guy! What's so wrong with adding your BF/GF? I mean you can just not let everyone know that you guys are together with the relationship statues??? Just weird!
veggirl Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 It's been a YEAR and he won't add you to facebook? You are definitely not this guys girlfriend, or at least not his only girlfriend. 3
mortensorchid Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 Ever notice since the advent of Facebook we have all reverted back to high school mentalities? Really, 50% of pending divorce cases today have something to do with Facebook. Sad that we are so juvenile at heart. However, being that this is one of those cases, he is not a good guy to be asking if not demanding that you do this. People are more jealous and insecure than you think they are, when a situation like this arises do you see people's true selves. But really, why would someone make such a demand on someone? That is conditional love, not something true. If I were you, I would consider greener pastures. I have added most former bfs who I want to add onto my Facebook friend list, and no one is the wiser. Here's another question, did he want to add you officially as "in a relationship with (name)"? That's a big step too in this world!
Brittanypolo4 Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 I don't think it's juvenile to be worried about something you see on facebook. It puts things out there and makes you see things you would never be able to see before. If you saw your man talking intimately with another woman, that would probably make you mad. Just like if you saw someone talking to them on facebook in more than a friendly way. That being said, your boyfriend clearly sounds like he's hiding something. I had a boyfriend like that, that said he didn't have a facebook, then a few months later I saw that he in fact DID have a facebook, was in a relationship, and was wishing his girlfriend a happy 1 year anniversary. It may seem immature to base a lot of things off of facebook, but its based on real life. Your boyfriend doesn't want you seeing something, or doesn't want people seeing that he's dating you. Regardless, you deserve someone way better than this. Someone who will show you off to all his friends and have pictures of you two on his facebook all the time. The fact that he doesn't means he is not the right person for you.
pteromom Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 Your first mistake was deleting all your guy friends from your Facebook. NEVER let someone else have that kind of control over you. If someone is so jealous that he doesn't want you to have guy friends, that's a HUGE RED FLAG. But if that is ok with you for some crazy reason, you should expect the same. All non-related females need to be deleted off his Facebook.
daphne Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 Yes. His actions are super shady. I don't add guys I'm just starting to date to fb, for the same reasons. Drama ensues. However, when it gets past a certain hump I don't care. And someone who does has something to hide. Your bf is a tool.
denise_xo Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 Ever notice since the advent of Facebook we have all reverted back to high school mentalities? Really, 50% of pending divorce cases today have something to do with Facebook. Sad that we are so juvenile at heart. I don't think this is juvenile stuff. The issue here is not FB per se, it is a) that he lies to her, and b) he sets different standards for himself than for her. OP, dump and move on.
2sunny Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 Everything about this guy is SO wrong! Did you end it or we're you lying earlier today?
TheFinalWord Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 My bf of nearly a year had an issue with my Facebook in the beginning- wanted me to delete all non- related males. Now mind you- some were my former neighbors- old ... some were distant cousins- etc. BF refuised to add me to his facebook saying he doent add people he is dating/has dated/gf etc. That it causes problems cause he sees posts fdrom guys- now how he knows that since he says he never adds gfs- I donno. I end up deleting my FB cause it just isnt worth any problems. I only used it fro family/nrighbors to keep up with kids. They have their own. Then I notice on his FB that a girl had same name as his ex- which isnt too hard to figure that it is his ex- someone with a long rap sheet- drugs/dui- driving suspended- assault on his family member- and she is wanted come to find out ... I ask him about her- and he says he must have added soem unknown girl- that he has no clue who that is ... I tell him I know the truth- that he is lying. A week later- he says he will delete whoever that girl is- since it is causing me problems. FINALLY admits later that he lied- so what. Well months later- I still think it is shady- and he has added other people to his FB- cant see all his posts/pics- private. We went to a movie premire last week- my first. He had me take pics oh him next to the poster and in the T-shirt I made him. Sat down and he started posting it to his FB- saying outloud what he was typing. No mention of me/tshirt- just that he was there. Am I stupid or is this rude- shady? Do u think its normal to not be on your SO FB? I think his controlling behavior regarding deleting all men on FB is definitely shady. I don't think changing relationship status for someone you are only dating is a big deal. Probably depends on how long you're dating. I tell women I'm dating right off the bat that I won't change my relationship status unless we get engaged. I don't really want everyone on FB to know my personal business, i.e. love life.
zengirl Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 I really don't think there's ever a reason for not adding a SO (not someone you're just dating but an actual significant other of a significant amount of time) as a friend if you regularly maintain a FB. If you legitimately didn't think of it, or neither party cared, or you don't want to do the R statuses, whatever. I don't think FB is a big damn deal in THAT way, but it shouldn't be a big damn deal to add a SO when you have a myriad of people who are presumably LESS close to you and LESS important in your list. Additionally, it's bizarre to hold a SO to some weird standard where they have to delete everyone but you won't even add them. I haven't read your other threads, but I agree that this guy does not seem like a winner to me.
Eddie Edirol Posted June 15, 2012 Posted June 15, 2012 He probably wont add you because he isnt serious about you, and he doesnt want the other women he has on FB seeing any gf like comments from you. So dump him.
TaraMaiden Posted June 15, 2012 Posted June 15, 2012 we have a drama queen on the scene.... This is plain ridiculous.
Casablanca Posted June 16, 2012 Posted June 16, 2012 He probably wont add you because he isnt serious about you, and he doesnt want the other women he has on FB seeing any gf like comments from you. So dump him. Yeah, that is my thinking...perhaps he is trying to get with someone and he doesnt want them to know about you, and if they'll take him, he'll dump you on spot
luvinthesun Posted June 17, 2012 Posted June 17, 2012 He dies have ... in a relationship ... for his status... Yeah, that is my thinking...perhaps he is trying to get with someone and he doesnt want them to know about you, and if they'll take him, he'll dump you on spot
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