dustpull Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 He's always wanted to be my friend but I guess I never let that happen. I always end up begging, asking questions, being jealous , etc which push him even further. Found out he's dating his best friend now so I sent him a letter of farewell last week. He seemed quite upset but told me if that's what I wanted, then I don't have to talk to him anymore. He said he wished that wasn't the case though. And at the end of the letter he said "..... Love Brian one last thing... ...I'm sorry" That was last friday. He also called and left a voicemail, telling me I don't have to call back if I don't want to and tells me 'you know how to reach me', but I haven't called or texted him since then. However I am lying to myself if I say that I am over him, I'm not. I wonder this everyday, should I wish him a happy birthday next month? If I don't , i think that'll solidify the end of our friendship/relationship.. Not sure if I want that though, I think he makes a great friend.. but i know u can never get over ur ex is ure friends with them.. Thoughts?
USMCHokie Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 I did it for the past two years after my breakup...and I would strongly suggest not to...ask yourself, what purpose does it serve?
Author dustpull Posted June 13, 2012 Author Posted June 13, 2012 I did it for the past two years after my breakup...and I would strongly suggest not to...ask yourself, what purpose does it serve? What is your reason for that suggestion if you don't mind sharing? I don't know.. To be nice?
USMCHokie Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 What is your reason for that suggestion if you don't mind sharing? I don't know.. To be nice? I accomplished nothing by wishing her a happy birthday. It temporarily reopened communication for a few emails back and forth and that was it. The same result occurred whether I wished her a happy birthday or not...we never talked again...so why create the potential for an emotional risk? Why must you be "nice"? How does that benefit you? Do you really care so much that he thinks you're "nice"? You must be young. 1
Author dustpull Posted June 13, 2012 Author Posted June 13, 2012 I accomplished nothing by wishing her a happy birthday. It temporarily reopened communication for a few emails back and forth and that was it. The same result occurred whether I wished her a happy birthday or not...we never talked again...so why create the potential for an emotional risk? Why must you be "nice"? How does that benefit you? Do you really care so much that he thinks you're "nice"? You must be young. Yeah im 20.. Dont know if thats 'young' young or not haha.. He's my first true love and even tho i want so badly to let him go part of me yearns for him to be back to me, even though i know that's impossible
TaraMaiden Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 (edited) So why do the foolish when you know it's impossible...? Healing you isn't about making him feel good. Edited June 13, 2012 by TaraMaiden 1
january2011 Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 Do not do it. You will only be delaying the inevitable. Better to cut the ties now and perhaps have the opportunity to make a fresh start on friendship in the future when it's less painful. Otherwise, you'll be holding on and delaying the remnants of healing a few months or years down the line at a time when you should be over him. Don't sabotage your future emotional and mental wellbeing like that. Deal with the pain now. 1
Tiera D Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 it is simply impossible to maintain friendship with an ex unless ATLEAST 1-2 years has passed.It Wont Work,the residue love in you will destroy that friendship sooner or later,jealousy will ruin everything.In worst scenarios you may possible fall into friends with benefits situation,trust me unless you are a very open minded person,you wont want to get to that stage.Continue NC ignore his birthday,you dont owe him anything TD
Author dustpull Posted June 13, 2012 Author Posted June 13, 2012 sigh but I think he makes a wonderful friend... Should I really let him go like that?
TaraMaiden Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 You said it yourself. You cannot be a friend to an ex- particularly if you still harbour deep intimate feelings for them. until you can see him in the arms of another woman he's clearly having sex with, in a relationship, and feel completely indifferent to it, any kind of friendship is out of the question. Trust us on that one.
Jose11 Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 I agree with everyone above don't contact. All that will do is open up old wounds. Be selfish and think about yourself. It's ok to not be nice sometimes. It'll hurt more if you do.
LovelyDaze Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 No. When I had my big breakup a few years back I did it & regretted it. What do you want out of it? Just to say Happy birthday? Be real with yourself. If it is to make your ex "think of you" then you're doing it for the wrong reasons. Just let it all go so you won't feel a sting of disappointment. Moving on means to keep moving forward not falling back. Trust me: There is someone who deserves your wishes more.
budley12 Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 I wished my ex happy birthday a few weeks ago. No response. It sucked. Now last night was my birthday and I didnt get anything either. No response. It sucked. If I could go back I wouldn't have.
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