Quest4_TheLost Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 In december I met a guy online that I really like I was dating someone at the time. SO we became really good friends. We would talk everyday about everything and anything.. Well my dating thing didn't work out. One night I decided to come over to visit. At this point I wasn't looking for anything I really don't know what I want as far as a relationship or what not.. Well we have a few drinks one things lead to another.. I sneak out at 4am hungover and feeling like an @ss.. But I did have fun. We continue to talk everday txting everything. It turns into us seeing eachother every weekend. We had a few stupid fights and wouldn't talk for a while. We start seeing eachother again. But he hardly ever talks to me txts etc. Everything is diffrent just ruined. I confront him about it asking if he isnterested in someone else.(Of course he says no).. He stays the night at mine and "yes" I played I spy. I looked at his phone perhaps to confirm I wasn't crazy but mostly to end things if he was *&)(***() around on me.. He was telling some chick he has known for a while he loved her. WTF!! Well when we wake up he notices I'm angry and asks. I tell him all about it. He wasn't angry but apologetic. So I needed time to think. His fam meets my kids in the time being. But I decide to break it off. Just sayin its better that me and my kids don't get attached to him. We don't talk for a month. I really care about the guy. Don't know what it is but I felt a strong connection. So I decide to wish him a happy b-day via txt. Since then he started inviting me out and we hang out once a week and on the weekends even more then we did before. This past weekend he spent time with me and my kids and his fam at the beach. It was nice.. But he wasn't affectionate at all with me and I haven't heard from him since. Which I know has only been yesterday and today. His background is he was with someone 8 yrs that treated him badly. So he isn't sure what he wants. But he says things all the time that make me think he wants more. But I'm feeling a disconnection on his part and strong confusion. I would like to see where this leads "if anywhere" but really don't want to get hurt again. I haven't called or bothered him because I don't want to be needy or pushy and again I'm not feeling like he is just that interested in making this work. Was he not affectionate cause my kids were there? I was thinking maybe he was using me for you know.. But he wants to take me and my kids out all the time. Pays for everything and he can be really sweet when he wants to be. We have dated on and off for about 5 months now. I just don't really feel like he as interested in me as I am in him. Its very possible I'm just the girl of "now" and he is waiting for somthing better to come along.. I only started hanging out again because we agreed to be "friends" ... But then the other day he mentions somthing about being my boyfriend.. I'm really confused somtimes I feel it somtimes I don't.. I really don't want to bring it up to him because I know he wants to take things slow. But the confusion needs to stop.. Go with the flow? Or let him go?
Lil1 Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 Does he have children of his own? If he doesn't have kids he will leave you for a woman who doesnt if the right one comes along. You met online right? How long has he known the other woman for (what is a while?) and what is their history? I think you should let it go. If you feel like you must have him in your life be very careful about bringing your kids into the mix. Don't let him pay for you and your kids anymore. Keep things just between you and him for now if you must.
sid3 Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 I think it is only a matter of time until you are S.O.L He is likely seeing you as the girl right 'now'
Author Quest4_TheLost Posted June 12, 2012 Author Posted June 12, 2012 He dosen't have kids but in his past 8 yr relationship she had 3... He is really awesome with my kids and when he is with them he is like a big kid himself playing with them constantly... He met her yrs ago long time friend, but at the time he was with someone else.. She is back in a diffrent state... He just moved here in nov of last yr.. Their history is only friendship but I guess for a min he wanted more. Your prob right about letting it go.. I'm doing my best to keep emotionally distant as I don't want to get overly attached to someone who seems confused about me. My kids think were "just friends" .. A part of me wants to go with the flow and enjoy our time together. The other half is worried about getting attached and wanting more then what he wants. I'm ok with taking things slow. I'm also ok with just being friends aswell but that to me means being platonic.
Author Quest4_TheLost Posted June 12, 2012 Author Posted June 12, 2012 I think where most of the conusion comes from is his hot and cold behavior. I'm wondering whats the diffrence between taking things slow or just seeing somthing as a (no go).. Its been a very long time since I've been in a relationship where I had real feelings for a person.
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