The real reason my Ex left me.

[Cyberpunk]

My missing her has turned into bitterness, I'm afraid. Right now I am so angry and feel so betrayed. I think I know the real reason why it ended the way it did.

 

I'm currently a graduate student and a Teaching Assistant. I make okay money, but it's not anything I could support a family on right now. Once I'm finished graduate school, that's when I'll (hopefully) see an increase in my income. I'm also 26 years old and I'm still living at home. I could move out and get a roommate, but where I am now is a convenient distance both from my job and school. Moving right now just wouldn't make any sense. And it's not like I'm freeloading. I pay my own bills and I help out with the rent when it's needed. I do my own laundry and cook my own food. And it's only temporary until I graduate. I want more than anything to have 100% independence and my own place right now, but my long-term goals come first to me. I want to get on my feet and accomplish my academic goals.

 

Let's look at my Ex. I met her during my last semester of undergrad. She has a while until she graduates, and she never had a job during our entire relationship. However, I was 100% supportive of her and I always took her out and paid for things for her when she needed it.

 

I've also found out that she likes to date significantly older guys because they would always give her money to gamble with, and the type of person that she is probably gave these scumbags a piece of her ass in return. Also, since she was eighteen, she was always moving in with her boyfriends. What I think the real issue is was that she didn't care about my long-term goals; she wanted out right NOW, and probably didn't care about who it was with.

 

What I also think was the deciding factor was that I lent my mother over $1,000 to pay the rent and some other bills, and she started a huge fight with me over it, which changed her "opinion" of me in her eyes. Since I gave my mother the money she called me a "push-over" and a mama's boy. I really don't get that. I'm not required to pay rent at all, but I do anyway when she needs the help. That makes me a mama's boy because I didn't want her getting kicked off to the street? I think the real issue is that she wanted that money for herself to support her gambling/partying fund. But please, if it is wrong for me to live here and if it was wrong of me to give my mother that money, I would appreciate your opinions.

 

This just angers me so much. Why stay with me for so long if she knew I wasn't rich enough to support her the way she wanted to?

Edited June 12, 2012 by Cyberpunk

[Jono85]

My missing her has turned into bitterness, I'm afraid. Right now I am so angry and feel so betrayed. I think I know the real reason why it ended the way it did.

 

I'm currently a graduate student and a Teaching Assistant. I make okay money, but it's not anything I could support a family on right now. Once I'm finished graduate school, that's when I'll (hopefully) see an increase in my income. I'm also 26 years old and I'm still living at home. I could move out and get a roommate, but where I am now is a convenient distance both from my job and school. Moving right now just wouldn't make any sense. And it's not like I'm freeloading. I pay my own bills and I help out with the rent when it's needed. I do my own laundry and cook my own food. And it's only temporary until I graduate. I want more than anything to have 100% independence and my own place right now, but my long-term goals come first to me. I want to get on my feet and accomplish my academic goals.

 

Let's look at my Ex. I met her during my last semester of undergrad. She has a while until she graduates, and she never had a job during our entire relationship. However, I was 100% supportive of her and I always took her out and paid for things for her when she needed it.

 

I've also found out that she likes to date significantly older guys because they would always give her money to gamble with, and the type of person that she is probably gave these scumbags a piece of her ass in return. Also, since she was eighteen, she was always moving in with her boyfriends. What I think the real issue is was that she didn't care about my long-term goals; she wanted out right NOW, and probably didn't care about who it was with.

 

What I also think was the deciding factor was that I lent my mother over $1,000 to pay the rent and some other bills, and she started a huge fight with me over it, which changed her "opinion" of me in her eyes. Since I gave my mother the money she called me a "push-over" and a mama's boy. I really don't get that. I'm not required to pay rent at all, but I do anyway when she needs the help. That makes me a mama's boy because I didn't want her getting kicked off to the street? I think the real issue is that she wanted that money for herself to support her gambling/partying fund. But please, if it is wrong for me to live here and if it was wrong of me to give my mother that money, I would appreciate your opinions.

 

This just angers me so much. Why stay with me for so long if she knew I wasn't rich enough to support her the way she wanted to?

 

you do sound like a pushover. you supported this self-absorbed, gold digging b*tch for how long? wake up. everything you said about your long-term goals and your current situation makes you come off pretty intelligent. but then you being with this trash then negates said intelligence. try to re-prioritize your values and wants in women.

[Cyberpunk]

Jono, thanks for the tough criticism. You're right. The worst part of it was that I knew the type of person that she was before I even got involved seriously with her. But I guess my problem is that I try to see the good in people, and it comes around to bite me in the ass. I can only blame myself for ever getting involved with her at this point.

 

Kind of wish I had access to a flux capacitor and 1.21 gigawatz of electricity right now.

Edited June 12, 2012 by Cyberpunk

[Jono85]

Jono, thanks for the tough criticism. You're right. The worst part of it was that I knew the type of person that she was before I even got involved seriously with her. But I guess my problem is that I try to see the good in people, and it comes around to bite me in the ass. I can only blame myself for ever getting involved with her at this point.

 

Kind of wish I had access to a flux capacitor and 1.21 gigawatz of electricity right now.

 

 

don't beat yourself up over it, just learn from it. i'm also 26, and still living at home, and working towards a future like yourself. my gf also left me 2 weeks ago, and its really rough. personally i just want to focus on myself for the forseeable future and make sure no woman screws up my goals/dreams in life. it's just not worth it. once i'm well on my way and living on my own, making a nice income in a house/condo that i own, i can start seriously looking for mrs. right. but over the last 3 years i've invested in 2 girls way too much, only to get zero returns from them at present day. i guess a lot more experience and wisdom though should never be ignored, as i've certainly learned a lot, as i'm sure you have.

 

but trust me, everything you wrote about your situation is very respectable and mature of you. work now, play later. your day will come. grind it out for another year or two, and you will be in a much better place than those guys our age living on their own, spending lavishly and having the times of their lives with women. their 30's and 40's will most likely not look anything like ours. you're building a solid foundation, keep it up. but please man, if you date, try to make sure she's investing as much as you are, both emotionally AND FINANCIALLY (don't be some girls sugar daddy; find yourself an educated independant woman who has much better values than your ex). personally i never tend to spend more than 60-65% of all expenses in a relationship (aside from the first few dates). i just won't do it. that way i know if a girl is interested in ME, or what i can provide for her.

 

anyway you'll get over her bud, and look back and laugh at how u fell for such a chick as her. cheers.

[Cyberpunk]

Solid advice, Jono. Thanks. You're right.