mortensorchid Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 Several weeks ago, a friend from a theater company which I am active in said that me and this other guy also in the company would be a good match and she wanted to play matchmaker. I was kind of surprised, I vaguely knew him, all we'd ever said was "Hi how are you" to one another. I asked her via Facebook email "Ok, how do we get this train rolling?" because I could meet a loser all by myself. However, her response was "I won't be there this weekend for strike. Be bold and ask him out." For further information (as well as responses) see this thread: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/329108-now-what Since then, I decided since he and I have never had an actual chat, I went to set build this past weekend. Sure enough, he was there. We had a chat on Saturday, he seems alright. He's 40ish, divorced, has a daughter who is about 14 or 15 who I have seen before. I had added him as a friend on Facebook, I said I didn't realize we lived so close to each other until then. And I said I thought I saw him jogging on a street near me this past week, but he said it wasn't him. We didn't chat much further, we got back to work after lunch break. Now, here is my new set of questions for all to respond to: 1) Matchmaker - The one who wanted to do the matchmaking seems to have dropped the ball here and put it in my lap. I think if one is going to do said matchmaking that one should either physically introduce one to another. All she really did was plant the seed in me, I have no idea if she has done the same with him. 2) Asking him out - I think if I do this he will be turned off. In my experience, I realize that guys may say that they like it when women chase them or ask them out, but they really don't. If a woman does this it's as good as over. So I have to wait for him to ask me. 3) Wednesday - It is now Monday evening. I happen to know that he is going to a trivia night at a bar near me. Show up? I LOVE trivia, but would that look desperate and crazy if I show up there? Please give insights. I am not sure what the next step is here, if any.
LanaDelRey Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 Let him come to you... don't show up anywhere he happens to be unless you are truly going for the sake of doing something fun for yourself. Regardless if he was there or not. Even when people try to "bump" into someone accidently it always for some reason comes off weird. Im guessing its because your giving off the vibe that you had planned this rather than an actual suprise look. Men usually like to chase. Unless your getting signs or hear that hes got something for you then I would let him make the move. He will if he wants too. Regarding your "MM" I don't see why that matters. I mean you can ask her if she talked to him too but what difference would it make. Also if she had introduced you guys thats all she would have done and then walked away. She can't force you guys to like one another. So I wouldn't worry about her anymore. You could ask though if shes talked to him too if you want. Next step: Continue to be you! He'll reach out..if he wants too.
FitChick Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 You need to find out if your friend mentioned you to him with an obvious reference to dating and not friendship. If she already has, then he isn't interested. If a man is interested, he will grasp at any straw to make a connection. 2
melodymatters Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 Ah, nothing ventured, nothing gained, and we BOTH know the Theatre is one of the friendliest places on earth ! I have always been a friendly sort, and have asked people ( including men) I found interesting to do things here and there. Sometimes, something clicks ( see my current marriage sometimes I don't like them when I get to know them better, and I'm sure the same is true for them. Not sure how you know he goes to this trivia night, but if it's an "open subject" why not say " That sounds SO cool, is anyone else from the theatre going, I love trivia !" And really, truly in your heart, make it about making new friends, having fun playing trivia, and seeing if YOU would be interested in HIM. Good luck, sweetie !
sid3 Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 I can't speak for other guys but I have absolutely no problem with a woman asking me out. In fact it happened to me a few days ago and it didn't kill any attraction, she scored points for being assertive.
Author mortensorchid Posted June 13, 2012 Author Posted June 13, 2012 Now that I think of it, the best thing I think for me to do if I want to get this train rolling at all is if I ask her if she planted a seed in him. After all, if not, then what's the point? She did want to play matchmaker after all, didn't she? At least she should get the ok from both parties, right? I'll do that this afternoon.
Author mortensorchid Posted June 14, 2012 Author Posted June 14, 2012 Yesterday I sent said email to my friend through Facebook telling her that if she wanted to play matchmaker for me and him, she should at least plant a seed in him that she wanted to put me and him together. No response. I guess she has left it all in my lap, hasn't she?
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