mortensorchid Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 A few weeks ago, a friend from a theater company that I am active with told me that she thinks me and this other guy would be an ideal match. I wrote her an email through Facebook saying "Ok, what do we do to get this train rolling?, she responded "I'll do my best!". That was about two weeks ago. This weekend we are having set build/strike and I am not 100% sure if he will be there or not (I will be). I wrote my friend (the matchmaker) and email saying "Will you be there on Sunday? I will. Is this supposed to happen this weekend?" SHe responded today with "Be bold, ask him out because I can't be there." I'm a little ... I don't know about this. When one does this, attempt to introduce one to another, isn't the introducer supposed to be there physically when they do this? If I were to ask him out, I might come off as too aggressive. What do others think?
FitChick Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 Let him be bold and ask you out since he is the one who likes you. Just be friendly and open.
Oxy Moronovich Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 Where in her post did the OP said the dude likes her? In any case, introduce yourself. Isn't it a party where people are casual?
Mme. Chaucer Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 If you're working on building / striking a set, can't you maneuver yourself to be near him? Start to chat, flirt, etc. Then ask him out, if you feel like it.
gaius Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 You're an actress? Introduce yourself if you want but let him do the asking out.
Author mortensorchid Posted June 1, 2012 Author Posted June 1, 2012 TO be clear on this, my friend from the theater has planted the seed on this and said that must be bold and ask him out. As far as I know, he has not been approached at all on the prospect. We have said "Hi how are you" to one another, not much else. But I do think that he should ask me not the other way around. If someone is going to play matchmaker, I think the one who is initiating the introduction should ask both parties if they are interested, then introduce the parties in question to one another. At least, that's what I would do if I were in her position. It seems to me like she has kind of dropped the ball. SHe planted the seed in me, I have no idea if she has had a chat with him. 1
amantis Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 Just have a coffee with him , its really easy . My last date asked me out , i really like that .
Sid6.7 Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 TO be clear on this, my friend from the theater has planted the seed on this and said that must be bold and ask him out. As far as I know, he has not been approached at all on the prospect. We have said "Hi how are you" to one another, not much else. But I do think that he should ask me not the other way around. If someone is going to play matchmaker, I think the one who is initiating the introduction should ask both parties if they are interested, then introduce the parties in question to one another. At least, that's what I would do if I were in her position. It seems to me like she has kind of dropped the ball. SHe planted the seed in me, I have no idea if she has had a chat with him. I'll tell you the same thing I tell the guys, you are being a pussy. You know why many women are single? Because they sit on their ass in a delusional state thinking they are superior in some fashion, as if you are above being assertive to get what you are after. What, just because you are female you are above initiative? You can't put forth the effort and ambition to take a risk, a risk that may pay off? We men do it every day, and we go through everyday what you are currently fearing. Rejection. Let's wise up a bit ladies, Men are waking up to this ruse and things are changing rapidly.
Yookie Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 Don't trust the matchmaker. If the guy is interested, he will come for you. If you want to initiate then do so on your on volition. Don't let the jibber jabber influence you.
amantis Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 I think that you are wrong Yookie Sometimes even if im interested in someone , i would not initiate , not because im shy , but because SOMETIMES it feels good when someone we are interested initiates first . Im not saying i do this all the time , and i cant say that works for everyone , but for me sometimes works and feels GOOD
Yookie Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 What part was I wrong about? I'm basically saying initiate if YOU want to... don't let the busy-body be the reason. Me personally, I never initiate because.... well because I don't have too!... and I like the type of men who have the balls to come for me. Also I must add that I WILL absolutely let a guy know that I want him to come for me in a CLEAR but subtle way. You'd have to be blind or utterly stupid to miss my clues.
Sid6.7 Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 Me personally, I never initiate because.... well because I don't have too!... and I like the type of men who have the balls to come for me. You don't have to? Elaborate please. I am dying to know. Also I must add that I WILL absolutely let a guy know that I want him to come for me in a CLEAR but subtle way. You'd have to be blind or utterly stupid to miss my clues. Really? In what way, please go on. I am always excited to know new an inventive ways girls let us know clearly they want us to come for them. I am all ears darling.
Author mortensorchid Posted June 2, 2012 Author Posted June 2, 2012 In my experience, if a woman calls the man and asks him out, or comes on very strong, it's as good as over. Men say that they like it when the woman pursues them or asks them out, but they really don't. Act like you're hungry and then they'll say "Next!" and loose interest. I say that because it's been my experience despite the fact that some men have, in fact, said directly that they expect me (or other women) to chase them. THey are used to a lot of attention, and they are used to also rejecting all of them. I just wish people didn't contradict themselves, but that's the world we live in. Ah well. It's not going to change. Also, I am not sure if he's going to be there at all. If not, I guess I have to have another plan. 2
Sid6.7 Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 In my experience, if a woman calls the man and asks him out, or comes on very strong, it's as good as over. Men say that they like it when the woman pursues them or asks them out, but they really don't. Act like you're hungry and then they'll say "Next!" and loose interest. I say that because it's been my experience despite the fact that some men have, in fact, said directly that they expect me (or other women) to chase them. THey are used to a lot of attention, and they are used to also rejecting all of them. I just wish people didn't contradict themselves, but that's the world we live in. Ah well. It's not going to change. Also, I am not sure if he's going to be there at all. If not, I guess I have to have another plan. Welcome to the game, babe. If it's any consolation, every girl that has made a move on me, I have went out with. With the exception of a select few. I respect that. I am a feminist after all, you are mere equals to me and those that have ambitions in life, seek them. Even in the dating arena.
amantis Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 Not every men is the same Tell me then , woman say that they like the men to initiate , but then they say that they give alot of signs to men ... Who initiated first ? the men or woman who give the signs ? Sometimes if i see a woman giving me the signs i would like them to come and tell me what they want . No doesnt work with everyone . If they give all the signs and if i go and talk with them , whats the difference ? Do they respect me more if i initiate ? i dont know but i really dont care because the initiate thing is just a game and thats it . I respect more a woman who come and talk to me ( im not talking about sluts ) then one who is giving me the looks but are expecting me to go there , but im not saying that i never initiate , its maybe 50/50 but i do like when they initiate .
Feelsgoodman Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 Don't trust the matchmaker. If the guy is interested, he will come for you. Not necessarily.
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