Safe to date again?

[Nitachi]

I dated this girl for 3 years and almost got engaged end of last year but due to unwanted attention from one of her male friends I decided not to propose. I've always had doubts about her since she had such a low self esteem and required a lot of male attention for her to feel good about herself.

 

We took a break in January and got back together in February but somehow I started seeing all her flaws and realized I should not be settling with this girl. I had an honest and open conversation with her about my feelings and she admitted to having feelings for someone else. I broke up with her in a civil and friendly manner and wished her luck for future prospects.

 

She sent me a few messages a week or so after the breakup and I politely replied and kept it short and to the point, but I knew I should go NC since I dislike exes tagging along should I meet someone new. So after a month and a half of no contact I got a message from one of her friends telling me she got engaged to the guy she cheated me with (7 weeks after the breakup).

 

I didn't give it much thought and continued watching my movie and enjoying time with the family. Sent her friend a message this morning telling her that I am happy she found the right one and that she deserves a loving husband that will appreciate her for the woman she is.

 

I know I still care for her, but I don't see her as attractive and appealing as I used to....more like a friend. Is it safe to say that I have deattached myself from her emotionally and that I will be okay to pursue new woman?

[january2011]

You won't really know it's safe to date again until you actually date again.

 

However, from experience, I'd suggest giving it at least a year to really re-establish your own identity and life without her. I'd also suggest letting everyone know that you've moved on, so you're not interested in hearing any news about her because it's none of your business anymore.

 

Best to wait until you haven't heard about her or thought about her for months. For example, if you're making at least one reference to her and your former life together (even if it's just in your head) every few days, then it's definitely too soon.