Emilia Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 I was close with a girl for many years that was gorgeous- she was also the most insecure person I've ever met. I was constantly having to stroke her ego to keep her happy it it just became tiresome. We'd go out and if a man paid me attention over her, she'd blow a gasket and want to go home. Happened to me a couple of times with a girl, I cut her out of my life. I don't really go out with groups of girls anymore, or very rarely, I tend to find mixed groups the most interesting. However, I'd usually be amongst the better looking ones and get enough attention. Even when I'm out with guys like last time. How much I get approached usually depends on how outgoing I'm feeling. To Pacman: I prefer the cute shorter guy over the 'mysterious' tall one
tigressA Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 (edited) When my friends get more attention than I do, which happens nearly all the time, I do get jealous once in awhile--but not because I think I don't look good. I know I do. It's their personalities and ease around strangers that I get envious of. I can be outgoing, but almost never right off the bat. I have to take some time to be comfortable first, and the atmosphere of your typical crowded bar doesn't really allow for that unless you don't mind being a wallflower. If you see me in a group of people I already know and like, it's really different from me being in a group of strangers. Do the same experiment on my friends and there's virtually no difference. I think the withdrawn/shy vibes I give off also tend to attract the guys who are 'hunters'--who like to chase 'difficult' women, which is annoying. I get the really persistent creepers who, even when I say I have a boyfriend, say things like "Where is he?" and "You can still get to know me...what's your number, baby?" Calling me beautiful and other pet names a bunch of times. Ewwww. Edited June 12, 2012 by tigressA
Eternal Sunshine Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 (edited) My friends are usually as attractive as me and often more so. I feel that my best friend is better looking than me but she is such sweetie, I never minded. When we go out, it really depends on the night - I get my fair share of attention. We have been friends for around 9 years and very much respect other's crushes and boyfriends and we never step on "each others territory". There was never any drama like that so jealousy is minimal. I tell her when I am insecure about my looks and she does her best to build me up. I always had very attractive best friend, ever since high school. I am just drawn to attractive women BTW all my/our other friends are men so I don't really go out with a group of girls anymore. Edited June 12, 2012 by Eternal Sunshine
Eternal Sunshine Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 Thanks, I appreciate the kind words...that should be sufficient external validation for one night. Here is some more: I fully agree with TBF - you are hot
Eternal Sunshine Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 I forgot to mention my other best friend, whom I have never met in real life but who is also quite beautiful (inside and out). Most of you know who she is
SmileFace Posted June 16, 2012 Posted June 16, 2012 I think there is a difference with being the ugly friend and feeling like the ugly friend. In Hs I was the ugly friend, the fat one who held the bags at the party. It was the truth -- then I dropped the weight, moved out got my own and now actually fit in with my friends but I barely hang with that group anymore. However being the ugly friend in the group for 6 years still feels the same.
Author USMCHokie Posted June 16, 2012 Author Posted June 16, 2012 I think there is a difference with being the ugly friend and feeling like the ugly friend. I absolutely agree. I'm talking more about feeling like the "ugly friend" and how it affects your mindset and attitude when you're going out with your friends.
SmileFace Posted June 16, 2012 Posted June 16, 2012 I absolutely agree. I'm talking more about feeling like the "ugly friend" and how it affects your mindset and attitude when you're going out with your friends. Yeah, it's horrible. However we both know its in our own mind. I find myself comparing my self in silly stuff like the amount of numbers they may get. When I generally shy away from guys and rather not pick up some one. HowevEr the insecurity is still there. Then I got a new group of friends where I was the most attractive - I hated how the extra attention confirmed how shallow I was. So I am trying to stop the need for external validation and just love me for me and not compare myself. 1
Pacman Posted June 17, 2012 Posted June 17, 2012 So how did you deal with being overlooked? Perseverance? Patience? Apathy? I'm still trying to figure that one out. Most of the time when I get overlooked, I just think about my assets and what I have to offer. Tallness? I can't offer that, but guaranteed I can offer everything else a 9/10 ain't bad at all That or I just start dancing in the middle of the dance floor showing off my goofy moves.
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