whoknowsx Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 Hello, This is a hell of a way to start posting but I wanted to share my story. I am 24 and pregnant. My ex and I had a turbulent relationship that resulted in him breaking up with me twice because "we are not compatible" and "i dont make him happy". I ended up getting pregnant while we were broken up and I gave him the option to be in his child life -- he accepted that option and also decided that he wanted to try to make things work with me because he loves me. Well four short weeks later he decided that he couldn't do it, and that we are over.... Meanwhile, he and I are stuck in a rough place because we are one year away from finishing our JD so we decided to live together and co-parent the baby for the school year. I decided to limit my contact with him because everytime I would hang around him I would either get a) resentful that he didnt even try for us to be a family or b) attachd hoping that he will love me again. I'm concerned about living together cause I feel that both these feelings will arise again. I feel like he takes all the good from me (the fun-loving, adventurous spirit + our son) and leaves the bad (the hormonal, sometimes moody, sometimes attitude) and I feel like thats unfair. Despite being very lonely with this pregnancy i've decided that I rather be lonely then feel like I'm being taken advantage of. What boundaries do you think I should draw for the no/limited contact? and do you think I can continue to limit contact when we live together or would that make for a hostile environment. I am open to all advice. Thanks so much!
hope1122 Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 Hello, Although I am not completely in the same boat as you, I can somehow relate on the committing/flaking out weeks later bit... My advice to you is to LEAVE and CUT HIM OFF! I know it is so much easier said than done, but a tiger doesn't change its stripes. Plus, if he can't even commit to YOU, do you trust him to commit to his CHILD? I think you are much better off raising your son on your own, and surround yourself with the ones who care, love, and support you. Living with him will only cause heartache for you, as well as tension in the household, which will be very unhealthy for the child. Although it will be hard, in the long run, you will be much better off and so much happier... Wishing the best for you and your baby
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