dagriz07 Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 Long story short. Me and my girlfriend were together for a year. We had our problems now and then but usually we worked them out. However, one problem i didnt like was she was always texting ex bf's, or guys she hooked up with. They were here friends so i understood and never broke up with her about it. And I found her giving her number away one time and it hurt so we had a huge conversation about boundaries and that we were exclusive about a month ago. Everything went awesome after that, until a week ago. She went upnorth on a trip with some buddies of ours. I didn't go. When she was up there she slept in the same bed as another guy. What really heats me is that she used to have a thing with this guy. Well, i found out and after the boundaries talk we had i felt like there was no explanation i just need to end it because she hurt me badly. Well, after a couple days i started questioning my decision because i really didnt give her a chance to explain herself. However, when they got back the guy texted me and wanted to explain. He told me they slept next to each other, but that she came up there and told him i would have no problem with them sleeping in the same bed together, which i do. She said that he came up there to her and passed out next to her. Regardless, I do not believe they hooked up, but i still feel hurt. About 3 days ago i stupidly called her because i miss her and told her to meet up to talk. We met up and I pretty much told her that i regret not letting her explain herself, but maybe we could go out some time and if i can move past this and you realize your life with me makes you happier than your life without me, maybe we can get things back to where they were. I miss her, alot. I love her, and i still feel like im a coward for calling her. I would like to fix things but I do not want her to take me for a sucker, i would like her to realize her mistake and work it out but today i texted her telling her that her pants were not at my house cause she asked me yesterday (which is bullcrap she just wanted to talk) and she was giving me two word replies in our conversation, and then i sent the last text. How should i go about this? Should i ignore her a few times? Should i suck it up and just ask her to chill for a few later on? Or should i just move on altogether?
geegirl Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 I don't know of any relationship, at least a healthy one where partners are still in contact with hook ups, ex boyfriends and sleeping in bed with others. There will always be trust issues in your relationship. There is no respect for boundaries because she does not care. You will be a sucker because although this is an issue for you, you're negotiating your needs and wants and giving in. Breaking your own boundaries. Seek a partner that does not need a slew of men at her disposal and one that does not jump in bed with others, even if it's supposedly innocent. If that's a problem for you, then don't settle. 2
WonderKid Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 How are you a coward? She's a coward for not telling the truth and coming to you like a woman explaining herself. I would give a stable reply, but I might get bitter with it. So I hope you don't make yourself extra vulnerable. Because its not good to be that.
EgoJoe Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 Dude, they ****ed, dump her. Don't explain anything if she asks why just say, "You know why." Move on.
mike588 Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 Good for you for ending it! Is this what you really want in a girl?....sleeping with some guy she has/had the hots for? calling texting ex's? You did nothing wrong..she needs to grow up! Get rid of her and find someone who won't put you thru this!
Pens55 Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 Agreed with what everyone said. There's three probable scenarios: 1. She's still banging ex-boy 2. She's still emotionally attached to ex-boy 3. She's using ex-boy for something she needs (i.e., money, fixing her car, etc.) Any of the three show that she is not totally committed to you. Not that its any reflection on you (some people are just icky like that), but she's looking outside the relationship for something. Been there, got the "Im a sucker" t-shirt. Drop her like a hot(mess) potato
Jaded82 Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 She sounds a lot like my ex. My ex seems to "collect" ex boyfriends. She keeps them around via texting and facebook as a ready source of emotional gratification. It is my firm belief that women/men like this don't always care who they are with, just as long as they are with someone. Don't do what I did for so long and settle for second best, people like her never really put their heart and soul into any relationship they engage in. Your boundaries are perfectly reasonable, don't compromise them just to be in a half assed relationship with someone who will never be as invested in it as you are. Stay strong and move on. Whatever heartbreak you feel now will only be amplified later on if you take her back. Best of luck. 1
macardent Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 Long story short. Me and my girlfriend were together for a year. We had our problems now and then but usually we worked them out. However, one problem i didnt like was she was always texting ex bf's, or guys she hooked up with. They were here friends so i understood and never broke up with her about it. And I found her giving her number away one time and it hurt so we had a huge conversation about boundaries and that we were exclusive about a month ago. Everything went awesome after that, until a week ago. She went upnorth on a trip with some buddies of ours. I didn't go. When she was up there she slept in the same bed as another guy. What really heats me is that she used to have a thing with this guy. Well, i found out and after the boundaries talk we had i felt like there was no explanation i just need to end it because she hurt me badly. Well, after a couple days i started questioning my decision because i really didnt give her a chance to explain herself. However, when they got back the guy texted me and wanted to explain. He told me they slept next to each other, but that she came up there and told him i would have no problem with them sleeping in the same bed together, which i do. She said that he came up there to her and passed out next to her. Regardless, I do not believe they hooked up, but i still feel hurt. About 3 days ago i stupidly called her because i miss her and told her to meet up to talk. We met up and I pretty much told her that i regret not letting her explain herself, but maybe we could go out some time and if i can move past this and you realize your life with me makes you happier than your life without me, maybe we can get things back to where they were. I miss her, alot. I love her, and i still feel like im a coward for calling her. I would like to fix things but I do not want her to take me for a sucker, i would like her to realize her mistake and work it out but today i texted her telling her that her pants were not at my house cause she asked me yesterday (which is bullcrap she just wanted to talk) and she was giving me two word replies in our conversation, and then i sent the last text. How should i go about this? Should i ignore her a few times? Should i suck it up and just ask her to chill for a few later on? Or should i just move on altogether? Move on big guy. So here it is. She already knows what ur values are and what u don't like. If u suck it up and go against ur own values she will loose respect for you. She might not show it but be a man and stand for your beliefs. She should come back telling you that she will fix her self up for you. If she doesn't then its not worth it. Love yourself more. Just telling you what I think and have learned from my experiences. Good Luck 1
shayla Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 Keeping guys on the hook is not cool. She is supposedly in a relationship, there is no place for this. Hell no I would not get back with her. How could you trust her?
Chi townD Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 Dude, she gave out her number to some other guys or guy while you two were exclusive. She keeps in contact with all of her Ex's and she slept in the same bed with a dude she had the hots for. Yeah, I'm sure NOTHING HAPPENED because the guy contacted you and told you nothing happened? Okay, lets assume nothing happened. You don't think that they spooned? How does the vision of a guy draped over your girl; with his arm resting across her side and her ass resting up against his pelvis suit you? Dude, she has no respect for you or the relationship. There are tons of girls out there that know what boundaries are. Go find them.
greenz Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 Not much I can add to this. It's a pretty open and shut case. OP, you love her cause she is probably a lot of fun. It really sounds like she is a lot of fun, but not for anything serious. Anyone that needs so many men around her to make her feel better has some serious issues that she needs to figure out before she can be taken seriously and you are not going to be able to make her do that. If what you have to offer still isn't good enough after a year to make her stop this behavior, then it probably will not be. Don't be another guy in her list.
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