DepressedinDenver Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 ... after you two start to talk about issues and communicate eventually all women start to lose attraction?
Pyro Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 all women start to lose attraction? You've dated millions of women then if what you said is true.
eleanorhurting Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 ... after you two start to talk about issues and communicate eventually all women start to lose attraction? I have no idea where you got this from. If you start communicating and call her a drama queen she might lose attraction. I don't know why else someone would lose attraction from communicating like responsible and mature adults. 1
Ruby Slippers Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 This is kind of like saying that once you start wearing a tank and shorts around the house and get comfortable not having to look like a bombshell around your man all the time, he will get bored and leave you. Will some? Yes. Will all? No. People take these little fears and doubts and blow them up to cosmic proportions in their minds. You are afraid to open up, so you consume yourself with this internal drama so you won't have to. I am one woman who does not lose attraction in the scenario you described, but gains it. I am not the only one. 2
Author DepressedinDenver Posted June 10, 2012 Author Posted June 10, 2012 Well I'm only coming from experience. It happened with my ex wife. And the girl I dated before who eventually lost attraction. And now with my current gf who says she feels like we talk about our lives too much and she is starting to see me as just a friend. So I am not afraid to communicate but I am now starting to be.
Ruby Slippers Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 Well I'm only coming from experience. It happened with my ex wife. And the girl I dated before who eventually lost attraction. And now with my current gf who says she feels like we talk about our lives too much and she is starting to see me as just a friend. So I am not afraid to communicate but I am now starting to be. Then I think there are other factors. Do you just talk all the time, or do you ever do exciting/adventurous things together - like physical or slightly risky/wild activities - hiking, swimming in the lake, having sex on the beach at night, trying new sexy night spots together, taking trips, throwing her down on the bed by surprise and ravishing her, shower sex, etc.? I think you might be talking too much and not DOING enough. If a relationship is fun, spicy, and positive, there's not much to talk about. You just enjoy. 1
utterer of lies Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 ... after you two start to talk about issues and communicate eventually all women start to lose attraction? You can talk about stuff, but don't talk about everything. Some things in a relationship really have to be discussed, but most things...don't. You might want to talk about something if 1) you will get into a fight or its clear there will be direct, really bad consequences unless you solve it or 2) she asked you about it, directly, possibly multiple times. Other than that - no.
january2011 Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 There needs to be a balance agreed between both parties. If we're just talking about doing and talking, some people are talkers and some people are doers. You need a healthy mix of the two, as Ruby suggested. For what it's worth though, in my experience, I like to do a lot of talking and I like to hear my SO talking - for me at least, it's all part of the attraction and maintaining the emotional bond. If there were only doing, I'd feel that we were not communicating enough. I need the checking in with each other to make sure that we're on the same page and to air out any issues so that they don't fester and become elephants in the room. However, there are many facets to healthy communication: content, delivery and timing are among the important factors that need to be considered. Though I don't think that there is a universal method that will suit everyone because every relationship dynamic is different.
udolipixie Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 Seems to me more like how can this guy as in you have a healthy communication realtionship as all the gals you chose and the one you're currently with have lost attraction . Perhaps it's best suited to reevaluate what your standards and criteria in a partner and what you're attracted to and attract. Bit telling it took 3 gals to equate to all gals start to lose attraction.
Art_Critic Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 Sounds to me that when you communicate to give up too much info and are doing it too much. Good communications definition in relationships means communicating your needs not your every thought. I think your so and your friends as well as your family should be your sounding board not just one of those or it gets overwhelming. Do you have friends ...
KraftDinner Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 Maybe it's not that you are communicating, but the way you communicate? I do NOT lose attraction when guys share more. Honestly, it makes me love them more.
wordrock Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 Well I'm only coming from experience. It happened with my ex wife. And the girl I dated before who eventually lost attraction. And now with my current gf who says she feels like we talk about our lives too much and she is starting to see me as just a friend. So I am not afraid to communicate but I am now starting to be. I can think of a few things... Perhaps you aren't emotionally compatible with the women you are dating, but are getting attached to them anyway. Perhaps when you met these women you were representing yourself as a person you are really not. Then when you try to reveal your real character, they get confused about their feelings for you. Perhaps they enjoy physical closeness and are ok with talking about their past or faults, but do not enjoy talking about 'being together' or lovey dovey type stuff... they prefer that to be shown in action instead. Perhaps none of this is really the case at all or is a minor detail, but you are feeling insecure about yourself and are attributing your opening up as the reason things didn't go right. Although it's good to sometimes have a hard look at yourself, you need to remain positive attitude and not beat yourself up over your personality. Just make a note of it and keep it in mind when meeting someone. Maybe it's not that you are communicating, but the way you communicate? I do NOT lose attraction when guys share more. Honestly, it makes me love them more. That could be part of it. I have found this to be the case when I put emotional compatibility over physical looks in who I choose to have a relationship with. Where as the women I wasn't really compatible with beyond a physical level seemed to prefer guys who didn't reveal too much emotional type stuff or clingy behavior.
irin Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 dont talk too much, keep a little mystery, get her to get words out of you! =fun conversation
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