teo456 Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 hi, im 33 and dating a female my same age. we had known each other since we were 18, but for things of destiny we didn't have the chance to get together and date until recently. about two years ago we started to hook up online, because I was out of the country back then, and we got off nicely. then last year we made arrangements and got to see each other about 4 times, a couple I went to visit her and then she came and visited me. since march this year we are now in the same place and we have been together ever since. we get along great and I really like her and I think she likes me too. there is one topic I would like to address to her. through all this time we haven't had sex yet and I am quite wondering about it because some time ago she mentioned that for her the most important thing in a relationship was the physical chemistry... and I didn't quite understood what she meant with that. I don't know if there is a reason of why the delay, although I do have a few suspicions, like I think her previous relationship was a bit traumatic as it ended abruptly and she was broken hearted -I don't know much about the details though-... but it feels like she is taking things real slow with me, as if she is being too cautious. we have made out several times and I have touched her gently and lovingly, in fact she has never denied or repelled me at all... but I do wonder why don't we go all the way. I'm not sure if it's because she hasn't said to me "I love you", although her actions have demonstrated that she does, like details and things that she does. also, I'm not particularly attractive, so I'm thinking that may be something too? I also haven't really proposed to her something either explicit or implicit within the lines of us spending the night together and have sex... I am a bit clumsy and I don't know how to do it. I would like some advise from females on how to deal with this situation and how to properly address it to her and discuss it as a couple. I don't want to put any pressure on her or force her to anything. thanks
TaraMaiden Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 ask her whether she feels you two have physical chemistry.... Sometimes, playing it too safe, means you just end up sitting on the sidelines.
amantis Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 You said "we have made out several times and I have touched her gently and lovingly, in fact she has never denied or repelled me at all... but I do wonder why don't we go all the way" What i dont understand is , if she never denied your touch why didnt you try and have sex with her ? Maybe she thinks that you dont want ? If you touch her then you stop ... hum
Vintage79 Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 Agree with Amantis, it looks like the onus is on you to make the moves - which isn't atypical with women. She may be super frustrated and wanting it, but is simply waiting for for you to be the man. If she lets you touch her, just try it a little more, and keep on progressing slowly. If she has issues, she'll tell you when to stop or when she's uncomfortable...at a minimum, her body language will. At that point, obviously respect her...but after that many months, and her claims of the value in physicality, I'm thinking you're doing this do yourself and she's ready and waiting...
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