Help need sleep

[koala bear]

1:45a.m. kids 7,4,and 3 all still wide awake. Aren't listening to MOM now that daddy is working far away. He's been gone two months. Just going crazy. I have tryed waking them up early like 4 a.m. and they still stay up with no nap.

 

I have only had 4 hours sleep in a week. I have tryed takeing them out to the park to ware them out it's not working. All they are doing fighting.They are all boys. I love them SOOooooo much but I NEED SLEEP. and a break from them fighting. I have no babysitter and I don't work. I do, do home schooling for myself.. And I haven't been without them for more then 2mins. in over 2 years.

 

I use to get 1 day a year all to my self no kids no hubby.But because of family medical problem I didn't get mine this year.Since my husband works I use to let him go out 1 night a week and do what ever he wanted.And, now that he is working in another town I am a little jelouse because his only reasponsablity is work. I have the three kids, three dogs, and four reptiles.I also have to be here to talk to him on the phone and make him feel better(when he is board or mad about work

Thanks for listening.

Any advice to get kids to listen would help

[quankanne]

are you in contact with any of the other home-schooling moms in your area? do you belong to a church or any other group? If so, see if you can work out a swap to where you leave your kids with them a couple of hours a week, then agree to do likewise for their kids. That way, you get them out of your hair AND they get to socialize with other people.

 

often, churches offer summer programs like vacation Bible school, which runs a couple hours a morning, every day for a week, and local libraries have activities scheduled during the summertime. And these are offered free of charge.

 

Parents Anonymous is also a good resource for parents, because it give you a lot of good tools (and contact people) for raising your kids.

 

also important is to talk to your children's pediatrician to see if this is the normal response for little kids when the parents are apart because of work. He or she might have some ideas that'll help alleviate the situation.

 

don't be afraid to ask for help. People want to help but often don't know how they can specifically be of service until they're asked.

[meanon]

You poor woman! That sounds like absolute Hell on Earth. You must continue to seek help and not give up trying different ideas. Sleep deprivation on that scale can cause really serious problems for your health and well being.

 

How do you get the kids to listen? Bribery . Seriously, they need to learn that good things happen if they behave well and don't happen if they behave badly. If you are getting very annoyed and shouting frequently (I know I would feel like that) just stop shouting, it has no effect anyway. Save shouting for last resort situations, then they will be so surprised it will have an effect. If you talk more quietly they will not listen at first but as soon as they get used to it, they will.

 

As far as getting them to do what you say, get them (particularly the 7 year old) involved in agreeing some basic rules - keep them simple and few in number - no fighting, staying in their room after bedtime etc). Make it clear they will get a warning if they transgress and then a punishment (being sent to their room, withdrawal of a treat they are expecting). Similarly reward good behaviour if they have behaved well. Smaller children need more visual treats and I've yet to meet a child between 2 and 5 that has not responded well to a star chart. One for each child in their room, they get a star (let them put in on themselves) if they stay in bed all night, so many stars equals a treat etc.

 

Make bedtime routines very predictable. Stick to the same times, do the same things (bath, story, bed). Once they are in the bedroom they are not allowed out (unless they need the loo). Never let them downstairs. Even if they stay awake for a while, at least you have some time to yourself every evening. one of the reasons they are fighting may be because they are tired too.

 

You need time to yourself without them. Explain to your husband how hard you are finding it and ask for his help when he does come home. Take the kids to play clubs and befriend other mums so you can help each other out. There will be help available, I hope you find the time to explore some of quankanne's suggestions. Good luck.

[lydiamarie]

Originally posted by koala bear

I use to get 1 day a year all to my self no kids no hubby.But because of family medical problem I didn't get mine this year.Since my husband works I use to let him go out 1 night a week and do what ever he wanted.

 

being a stay at home mom is a full time job. and you're homeschooling on top of it. you are a saint.

 

since you have two jobs to your husbands one, i think you deserve at least the night off a week that you have always given him (and now he gets every night off).

 

definitely think about what quankanne said, she gave some great suggestions. can you ask your family or neighbors for help? maybe take turns taking the kids to the park, or even going together with a neighbor so you can chat would help reduce stress. (though it wouldn't help with sleep) if you don't know anyone in your area to ask, then take the kids to the park and chat up other parents there. maybe someone in your family could take the kids for the night.

 

hope you're sleeping more soon.

[Fayebelle]

Benadryl! DRUG THEM!

 

Just kidding

 

Sorry- I'm not a mom yet so I don't have any advice for them BUT I do think it's time your husband was there for YOU to talk to. If you need help then you need help. And as your partner he is partially responsible for finding it for you. If he can't be home more often then maybe someone he knows from work is in a similar situation and you could help each other. Maybe his family could help. Something has to be available and you shouldn't shoulder the responsibility of finding an answer all alone.

 

I really do empathize as much as I can- I have a horrible time sleeping now and that's one of the reasons I'm waiting to have kids. I know how hard lack of sleep makes everything in every area of your life seem harder.

 

I wish you all the best and sweet dreams when you can grab them.

[brashgal]

How are they staying up all the time? My son (7) sleeps at least 9-10 hours a night. Kids that age need that much sleep. Cut out all caffeine, limit sugar and processed foods (red dye is absolutely the worst for kids). Limit TV watching, especially cartoons or anything violent - too much stimulation. I absolutely agree with the routine, bath, story, bed - maybe fit a glass of milk in there somewhere as it is supposed to help you sleep.

 

It's tough to take charge once the kids are out of control, I'm working on limiting TV and the whining and constant "Mom, Mom, Mom" makes me want to scream - you are definitely a stronger woman than I am. Hang in there!! Hope you get more shuteye this week!

[Moose]

When my kids won't go to sleep, they know that Dad is going to bust their behinds!!! They didn't used to be that way. They were unruly and didn't go to sleep right away. We just finally put our foot down and told them they have to go to sleep.

 

We also made a checklist for them to go by so they wouldn't have any reason to get back up.

 

1. Brush your teeth

2. Go to the bathroom

3. Get one more drink of water

4. Give everyone lovins'

5. Say prayers w/Dad

6. Go to sleep

 

They each get a sticker to put next to each step while they're doing them. Believe me....it works. They only get one warning if they start playing around in their room then it's fair for me to bring in the belt. ( It's on the checklist that I can, and I make them read it outloud before nite nite ).

[koala bear]

Got 2 hours last night.Thanks for all your help I will try all those thing. I don't know where they get all the energy They don get candy or soda and they are alergic to red dye #40 we found that out at the youngest ones first birthday.(red velvet cake) Candy is only a treat and they haven't been good enough to get those lately.

 

They all understand that mommy and daddy are not fighting and not breaking up.It's just daddy's work closed here and grandma has cancer so daddy went to work far away so we could buy a house close to grandma and he could keep his time in with his company.

 

I do have a thing we do

 

Dinner

Bath

teeth

Bed time story

Bed

then they start with "I'm hungry"

"I have to use the bathroom" And when one starts so do the other two. It's a fight for hours. I'm just so tired. I stopped giving them naps a long time ago. I'm just doing the best I can. I'm so far away (3 hour from anyone I know) it's just really hard on me.

 

This internet is the only way I have to talk to anyone. Thank you agian. And,bless you all.

[lydiamarie]

Originally posted by koala bear

This internet is the only way I have to talk to anyone. Thank you agian. And,bless you all.

 

for heaven's sake keep posting so you can keep your sanity. don't forget about private messaging. we're all more than willing to help as we can

 

maybe you should start a rule that they can't ask for food or drink after a cerain time at night (might cut down on bathroom trips), and that they aren't allowed to wake you up to ask you questions unless the house is burning down. there really shouldn't be anything so important that they wake you up.