fortyninethousand322 Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 I think I've been in denial the entire time I've been on LS. Despite efforts at trying to convince myself otherwise, I'm still very much "in love" with a girl I used to hang out with in college. Without going into much detail, I'll just say it was one of those unrequited things. She cared about me, but really wasn't interested in a relationship. We never "dated" in the normal sense, but hung out an awful lot one on one and did other "date-like" and couple type stuff. We just never kissed, or any of that junk. Needless to say the whole thing threw me for a loop. (she acted interested but would pull away whenever I tried to express interest). It's been over 3 years since we hung out regularly, and almost 2 years since I last hung out with her. She's now back overseas, probably/possibly never to return (her words when she left). I've emailed her a few times since then but I've never received a reply. She lives in a pretty dangerous country so maybe she has no internet, but it's equally likely that she's ignoring me I suppose. Despite all of this (no interest from her, no proximity, been a long time) I still find myself googling her name to see if she exists. Checking my IM and email inbox to see if she's online or sent me anything. Dreaming about her, thinking about her. Analyzing all the scenarios in which maybe she was interested but I messed things up or something. I've been on a few dates since her (three of them) which fizzled out due to lack of interest from the women. But, I also think I'm not in the right mind to date because of this. Is this sort of 3 year infatuation normal? Is it something I should probably get therapy for? 1
ShannanDope Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 Therapy is an option, honestly. The fact that it's been such a long time and you're the only one who ever showed any real interest should tell you, frankly, it's just not going to happen. It's unfair, and happens to the nicest people sometimes. The key is to love yourself enough to know that you deserve someone who will treat you the way you deserve, without dismissing you. If you feel that you aren't receptive to new women, then overcoming this is crucial. You will never find someone if you compare all of them to her. Life is too short. Don't let the right one pass you by. 4
rogerwaters Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 It seems like you are obsessed with her. No contact usually works in these cases, but in your case it hasn't. I would recommend seeing a therapist. I know it is tough, I was in your situation too. I am still recovering, but unlike you, the no contact has helped me move on. I am sorry that this happened to you. No advice will do anything good unless YOU stop thinking about her. Please don't beat yourself up for someone who didn't respect you. I wish you the best!
Author fortyninethousand322 Posted November 3, 2012 Author Posted November 3, 2012 Well I'm kind of a stupid person. I logged into my IM today and she was on (she hasn't been on once in the 2+ years since she moved away). She wasn't very talkative and may or may not be having connection issues (she didn't say so, but her status has been wavering between "away" and "online"...I think she's just ignoring me). So, instead of leaving well enough alone I tried interacting and ended up worse off. Wonderful...
Author fortyninethousand322 Posted February 25, 2013 Author Posted February 25, 2013 Bumping this because I had a dream about her a few days ago which has kind of stuck with me and disturbed me. I think being single and dateless for so long has done this to me.
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